Star Wars in Cinema, Ranked

★★★★/★★★★

★★★★/★★★★

★★★★/★★★★

3.5/★★★★

3.5/★★★★

Much like how 'The Force Awakens' has somewhat survived its guilt by association with its controversial sequels, the same applies to the final segment of the prequels. A high watermark in Star Wars history and what would today be a surefire billion-dollar club joiner, it earns its stripes as one of the darkest, baddest, and most intrepid of all of them.

Before 'Avengers: Infinity War', audiences bore witness to massive body counts of Jedi, Wookies, and allies through Order 66 (666, get it?). The themes, ominous lighting, plus the key "ruminations" scene between Anakin and Padmé deliberately echo the Horror classic 'Rosemary's Baby'; making this episode deeper than any installment that came before it at the time aside from the original two. Hayden Christensen, Ewan McGregor, and Natalie Portman are at their most riveting here, with Hayden almost reaching excellence.

The feeble links are few and far between; some occasional wet spots with scenes and dialogue, plus the final showdown is dragged out a bit too long. Ian McDiarmid gives it his all as Palpatine, though ventures a bit much into camp at times and isn't at the nuance he was in 'Episode VI'. Aside from those, there's nothing glaring or troublesome to fault with 'Episode III'.

For those seeking the answers and foundation to the entire saga and originals, you can't make sense of it without this dish of revenge best served hot.

3.5/★★★★

★★★/★★★★

I guess to many, it's somewhat of a dissidence to consider this episode to be anything other than the worst of the entire saga. Despite being averaged by Rotten Tomatoes at a merely fresh 65%, I'm inclined to take the Tomatometer seriously here. 'Episode II' provides a lot of payoff as its own contained chapter before 'Episode III', and it's far more entertaining and urgent. While not the best furnished, there's a fascinating and tragic love story that unfolds simultaneously with a Noir/James Bond-esque evocation as Obi-Wan uncovers the truth behind the clone army and Count Dooku's treachery.

The cast and characters also stand out more than in 'Episode I'. If you can get past seeing the future ultimate badass Vader being stripped down to a socially struggling Jedi apprentice who's salivating for Padme and to be "the most powerful Jedi ever" (in the words of General Grievous, he truly is a bold one), this film is worth giving a second chance and not so much of that visceral disembodiment that's worse than what Jango Fett received from Mace Windu. A solid sequel that avoids middle-installment/setup syndrome.

★★★/★★★★

2.5/★★★★

As 2007 was the year for weak threequels, 2019 was the year of concluding chapter films and where most of them were unfortunately granted mixed feedback (Glass, Game of Thrones Season 8, It: Chapter Two). 'Avengers: Endgame' lucked out despite some discontent, but 'The Rise of Skywalker' is still getting the splatters of tomatoes to this day. Critical responses came out a measly few days before release to one of the lowest scores in the entire saga, and I can't blame them. I found myself struggling to stay awake in portions of the first act, as much of the beats are the same old song and dance.

Teasing audiences as to characters potentially dying or what's to come next can be an effective storytelling device, but here it's beaten by the writers to an almost comedic level with repeat offenses. Kylo Ren's arc is given the best treatment here, including his reunion with the ghost/vision of Han Solo (that I myself predicted back in 2015). Rey is given a decent send-off here and especially with her defeating *the threat*, but her romantic kindling and kiss with the mass murderer Kylo are bilge. Her bond with General Leia before the latter's death is one of the better and more emotional scenes of the entire film though (RIP Carrie Fisher). Poe Dameron kicks major butt alongside Keri Russel's newcomer Zori Bliss; but almost all of the other characters are sadly kept in line to soldier on, including Rose from 'The Last Jedi' who's squashed down to around 10 minutes of screentime. Her downsizing isn't the only thing that reeks of gratuitous fanservice- there's the validation of Rey as coming from a source of significance in the franchise, of course Palpatine.

Meddling with portions of her and Darth Vader's arcs at once, the old Emperor gets to shine in mythical ways but is ultimately both a shoehorned dead horse and makes for an underwhelming final boss.

'Episode IX' is one that comes to mind when I think of movies that fit the old saying, "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."

★★/★★★★

Saying I'm beating a dead horse by ranking the series revival toward the bottom would be putting it lightly. This is nowhere near the 'Highlander II' level of flatulence that many have said it is, but there's still not a whole lot to defend here. Expanding upon the galaxy with some brand new worlds was always welcome; many sets are impressive with classical and Victorian-era tones, and some seeds are planted for future compelling story arcs.

Liam Neeson's Qui-Gon Jinn, Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan, Ray Park's Darth Maul, and Pernilla August's Shmi Skywalker stand out among the cast, while everyone else more so slinks. On the contrary, I don't find Jake Llyod's Anakin and Ahmed Best's Jar Jar Binks nearly as annoying as the prequels' critics have laid waste to. Anakin leaving his home of Tatooine is emotional, but his destroying the enemy ship in the film's climax is completely silly.

The plot coughs of prequelitus and roll call, especially with political scenes that don't hold much weight. Merchandising outlets were doubled down with the pod racing (which in itself is a solid sequence) and, for that matter, the utterly unnecessary inclusion of C-3PO in this whole second trilogy (not to mention that ridiculous gag in 'Episode II' where he gets his head swapped with a droid). All in all, an at-times entertaining but tedious slow burn.

★★/★★★★

The CGI animated series has since grown in stature among fans, but it was off to quite a rocky start in 2008 with the theatrical run of this hand-me-down composed of three separate episodes, and it's about as toothless as you can expect. Aside from Ahsoka and Sith Lord Asajj Ventress, every other mainline character we know from the saga doesn't get much to do and isn't helped by the film's impartial tone.

The dialogue ranges from serviceable to plain gawky, the repetitive clone vs. droid battles with lifeless video game mechanics are nauseating; plus attempts at humor are, well, cringe-worthy (wildly when the commercials rammed in the moment of Jabba the Hutt's baby burping green gas)- and that's all you need to know.

★/★★★★