That obscene 'V' word.by karlee1981 | created - 11 Oct 2015 | updated - 11 months ago | Public
Poor Vampires. No other folkloric creatures have been more used, abused, deconstructed, derided, degraded, castrated, and $h@t upon by Hollywood suits. Hollywood drained them of every last drop of blood back when they were popular, running the same vampire stories into the ground over and over. Now, in the era of hipsters referencing and quipping, Hollywood ridicules them as 'outdated' and 'uncool'. Vampires are cast in kid's movies and commercials for Halloween food products while all the choice horror roles go to CGI demon-ghosts (who were never cool or scary in the first place). Worse, Hollywood sometimes turns the murderous creatures of the night into misunderstood romantic lovers.
Vampires have become a sick joke. 'Vampire' has become a dirty word, whispered to avoid embarrassment.
Do they really deserve this treatment? What did they ever do but try to entertain us?
Please think about these wretched creatures before you give your money to support another terrible movie or TV show that mocks them and their plight.
These are mostly Vampire Horror films (wherein the lives of human main characters are threatened by bloodthirsty Vampires). There are a few action, drama, and comedy films toward the bottom of this list, all still have blood and horror and all are still respectful to the once proud race.
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1. Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)
PG | 107 min | Drama, Horror
Count Dracula moves from Transylvania to Wismar, spreading the Black Plague across the land. Only a woman pure of heart can bring an end to his reign of horror.
2. Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971)
GP | 89 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery
A recently institutionalized woman has bizarre experiences after moving into a supposedly haunted country farmhouse and fears she may be losing her sanity once again.
A throwback to European folklore and a pleasant departure from the standard Hollywood rules.
3. Vampire Circus (1972)
PG | 84 min | Horror
As the plague sweeps the countryside, a quarantined village is visited by a mysterious traveling circus. Soon, young children begin to disappear, and the locals suspect the circus troupe might be hiding a horrifying secret.
The best of Hammer Film Productions' many Vampire movies.
%80 on Rotten Tomatoes
6. Cronos (1993)
R | 94 min | Horror
A mysterious device designed to provide its owner with eternal life resurfaces after four hundred years, leaving a trail of destruction in its path.
Votes: 25,277 | Gross: $0.62M
7. Nosferatu (1922)
Not Rated | 81 min | Fantasy, Horror
Vampire Count Orlok expresses interest in a new residence and real estate agent Hutter's wife.
Nearly a hundred years later, filmdom's first unauthorized rip-off is still better than any movie with 'Dracula' in the title.
Nosferatu '22 and '79 are different enough that it is worth watching one if you've seen the other.
8. Black Sunday (1960)
Not Rated | 87 min | Horror
A vengeful witch and her fiendish servant return from the grave and begin a bloody campaign to possess the body of the witch's beautiful look-alike descendant, with only the girl's brother and a handsome doctor standing in her way.
Witch nothing, for all intents and purposes this is a Vampire movie. I think they were just confused about Hollywood monsters in 1959 Italy.
9. The Brides of Dracula (1960)
Unrated | 85 min | Horror
Vampire hunter Van Helsing returns to Transylvania to destroy handsome bloodsucker Baron Meinster, who has designs on beautiful young schoolteacher Marianne.
My favorite of Hammer Productions' Dracula series doesn't even have Dracula in it. Peter Cushing's Van Helsing takes center stage in this one, and makes me wish Hammer had devoted more movies to the character's Dracula-free exploits.
10. The Vampire Lovers (1970)
R | 91 min | Horror
Seductive vampire Carmilla Karnstein and her family target the beautiful and the rich in a remote area of late eighteenth-century Gemany.
Based on Sheridan Le Fanu's 'Carmilla'
11. Twins of Evil (1971)
R | 87 min | Horror
A religious sect led by Gustav Weil hunts all women suspected of witchcraft, killing a number of innocent victims. Young Katy, Gustav's niece, will involve herself in a devilish cult, and become an instrument of Justice in the region.
12. The Kiss of the Vampire (1963)
Unrated | 88 min | Horror
When car trouble strands a honeymooning couple in a small Southern European village, an aristocratic family in the area reaches out to help them with sinister consequences.
13. The Blood Spattered Bride (1972)
R | 82 min | Horror
Newlywed Susan is haunted by visions of Mircalla Karnstein, a centuries-old bride who murdered her husband on their wedding night.
Another adaptation of 'Carmilla'. Different enough that it's worth watching even if you've seen 'Vampire Lovers'.
Good Taste Warning: The first half hour has a r@pe scene and on-screen animal cruelty.
14. Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
R | 128 min | Horror
The centuries old vampire Count Dracula comes to England to seduce his barrister Jonathan Harker's fiancée Mina Murray and inflict havoc in the foreign land.
Votes: 180,535 | Gross: $82.52M
It makes up for its shortcomings (Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder) with lots and lots of atmosphere. Also its about as loud, garish, and over-the-top as Nosferatu '79 is quiet, subtle, and beautiful. It makes a good companion film; two very different ways to adapt one novel.
15. Mark of the Vampire (1935)
Passed | 60 min | Horror, Mystery
When a nobleman is murdered, a professor of the occult blames vampires; but not all is what it seems.
The stunt casting of Bela Lugosi is an obvious attempt to cash in on the success of 1931s Dracula. I don't care. I say this is the better movie. I believe that 1931s Dracula, like King Kong and most of the other universal monster films, simply isn't that great. I appreciate that it was groundbreaking in its day but I don't think the movie, as a movie, stands the test of time.
16. Thirst (2009)
R | 134 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror
Through a failed medical experiment, a priest is stricken with vampirism and is forced to abandon his ascetic ways.
Votes: 39,578 | Gross: $0.30M
Halfway through the movie I thought certain characters and plot points seemed strangely familiar, eventually I realized I was watching Therese Raquin with Vampires. A+ for concept.
17. Midnight Son (2011)
Not Rated | 88 min | Horror
The story of a young man called Jacob who is confined to a life of isolation, due to a very rare skin disorder. His world changes when he meets a local bartender and falls in love. Jacob's ... See full summary »
%95 on Rotten Tomatoes
18. Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
R | 92 min | Drama, Horror
Votes: 38,814 | Gross: $8.29M
%81 on Rotten Tomatoes
20. Afflicted (2013)
R | 85 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
Two best friends see their trip of a lifetime take a dark turn when one of them is struck by a mysterious affliction. Now, in a foreign land, they race to uncover the source before it consumes him completely.
Votes: 20,666 | Gross: $0.12M
%79 on Rotten Tomatoes
21. Martin (1977)
R | 95 min | Drama, Horror
A young man, who believes himself to be a vampire, goes to live with his elderly and hostile cousin in a small Pennsylvania town where he tries to redeem his blood-craving urges.
Votes: 9,258 | Gross: $0.10M
22. Lust of the Vampire (1957)
82 min | Horror
A mad scientist captures young women and drains their blood, in order to keep alive an ancient, evil duchess.
23. A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014)
Not Rated | 101 min | Drama, Horror
In the Iranian ghost-town Bad City, a place that reeks of death and loneliness, the townspeople are unaware they are being stalked by a lonesome vampire.
24. Valerie and Her Week of Wonders (1970)
Not Rated | 77 min | Adventure, Drama, Fantasy
Inspired by fairy-tales such as Alice in Wonderland and Little Red-Riding Hood, "Valerie and her Week of Wonders" is a surreal tale in which love, fear, sex and religion merge into one fantastic world.
25. The Hunger (1983)
R | 97 min | Drama, Horror
A love triangle develops between a beautiful yet dangerous vampire, her cellist companion, and a gerontologist.
Votes: 21,586 | Gross: $5.98M
26. Daughters of Darkness (1971)
R | 87 min | Horror
A newlywed couple are passing through a vacation resort. Their paths cross with a mysterious, strikingly beautiful countess and her aide.
27. Byzantium (2012)
R | 118 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror
Residents of a coastal town learn, with deathly consequences, the secret shared by the two mysterious women who have sought shelter at a local resort.
Votes: 39,254 | Gross: $0.08M
28. The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974)
R | 89 min | Action, Horror
While lecturing in China, Van Helsing agrees to help seven kung fu trained siblings reclaim their ancestral mountain village, now the domain of seven powerful vampires and their army of undead slaves.
(I wrote that plot synopsis!)
29. Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter (1974)
R | 91 min | Adventure, Horror, Mystery
A master swordsman and former soldier and his hunchbacked assistant hunt vampires.
30. From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
R | 108 min | Action, Crime, Horror
Two criminals and their hostages unknowingly seek temporary refuge in a truck stop populated by vampires, with chaotic results.
Votes: 271,919 | Gross: $25.75M
31. Vampires (1998)
R | 108 min | Action, Horror, Thriller
Recovering from an ambush that killed his entire team, a vengeful vampire slayer must retrieve an ancient Catholic relic that, should it be acquired by vampires, will allow them to walk in sunlight.
Votes: 50,213 | Gross: $20.24M
32. What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
R | 86 min | Comedy, Horror
Viago, Deacon and Vladislav are vampires who are finding that modern life has them struggling with the mundane - like paying rent, keeping up with the chore wheel, trying to get into nightclubs and overcoming flatmate conflicts.
Votes: 136,001 | Gross: $3.33M
33. The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)
Not Rated | 91 min | Comedy, Horror
A noted professor and his dim-witted apprentice fall prey to their inquiring vampires, while on the trail of the ominous damsel in distress.
34. Fright Night (1985)
R | 106 min | Horror, Thriller
A teenager discovers that the newcomer in his neighborhood is a vampire, so he turns to an actor in a television horror show for help dealing with the undead.
Votes: 55,941 | Gross: $24.92M
35. Black Sabbath (1963)
Not Rated | 92 min | Horror
Boris Karloff hosts a trio of horror stories concerning a stalked call girl, a vampire-like monster who preys on his family, and a nurse who is haunted by her ring's rightful owner.
One of the three stories applies
36. The Vault of Horror (1973)
R | 87 min | Horror
An anthology of five horror stories shared by five men trapped in the basement of an office building.
One of the five stories applies
Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1974–1975)
TV-PG | 52 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
Sent to L.A. to interview a controversial guru, Carl instead tries to track down and stop an extremely vicious female vampire, unknowingly unearthed near Vegas by a road construction crew, who may be connected to his first case.
At first I was wary about seeing Kolchak fight another vampire; was this going to be his thing? It turns out to be probably the best episode of the short lived series.
Tales from the Crypt (1989–1996)
Comes the Dawn
Not Rated | 26 min | Comedy, Crime, Fantasy
Colonel Parker and Sergeant Burrows, two ex-soldiers with a murky past, arrive in the Alaskan wilderness to do some illegal hunting. They get a local girl called Jeri Drumbeater, Parker's ... See full summary »
The X-Files (1993–2018)
TV-14 | 45 min | Crime, Drama, Mystery
While Agent Scully is still missing, Agent Mulder embarks upon an investigation involving vampires in Los Angeles, subsequently becoming involved with a sultry female vampire who yearns to escape her lifestyle.
The X-Files (1993–2018)
TV-14 | 45 min | Crime, Drama, Mystery
Scully and Mulder each recount their version of events that led Mulder to drive a stake through the heart of a Texas teenager he claims was a vampire.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999)
Samson vs. the Vampire Women
TV-14 | Comedy, Sci-Fi
While Mike and the Bots wrestle with Santo vs. the Vampire Women (1962), TV's Frank is assumed into Second Banana Heaven, leaving no one for Dr. Forrester to kill.
43. Cinematic Titanic: Blood of the Vampires (2009 Video)
Not Rated | 83 min | Comedy
The Escodero family is cursed! The mother is actually an undead vampire who lurks in a secret basement/dungeon hidden from the rest of the house. When the kids discover this dark truth, all... See full summary »