This movie rules -- but not in the way most of you would think. It rules because it's extremely bad. If you're a fan of bad movies (I'm a self-styled connoisseur), you have to wrap your sweaty hands around this gem. It ranks right up there with such classics as Termination Man, Troll II, Deathstalker III, etc. For those of you who have no patience for bad movies, or actually enjoy mediocre Hollywood pap such as Van Helsing, Pearl Harbor, etc, do not rent/buy this movie -- it won't appeal to your pedestrian tastes.
** spoilers **
This movie is about a young boy, who sports the unimaginative sobriquet of "Tim" (Monty Python and the Holy Grail flashbacks). Tim, as it turns out, is the last "Keeper of Time". If Tim dies, so does all that is good and great -- and, of course, the powers of "evil" will reign for the next 500 years.
Enter the bumbling "Bad Wizard" (forget the character name). The Bad Wizard orders a series of attacks against Tim... each one more comical than the last. Thankfully, Tim is befriended by Bullrock (Micheal O'Hearn) and Udo. Bullrock spends the majority of the film showcasing his pectorals, and, occasionally, performing masturbatory combat exercises with his sword. He's also primarily responsible for dispatching the hordes of "target dummies" sent to destroy them. Udo, on the other hand, seems content to spout nonsensical "wizard talk" and "deep philosophy". Other than that, he doesn't really do much of anything.
At some point, the "Bad Wizard" convinces one of his underlings ("Token Hot Chick") to infiltrate this unlikely band of heroes. Needless to say, Bullrock is instantly smitten with Token Hot Chick. They begin professing their undying love for each other -- the day after they meet.
Token Hot Chick's ruse is uncovered near the end of the movie. Someone kills her (Bullrock?). Tim and the "Bad Wizard" go head-to-head for control of the planet. I'll give you one guess as to who won.
Good movie rating: 3/10. Bad movie rating: 8/10.
** spoilers **
This movie is about a young boy, who sports the unimaginative sobriquet of "Tim" (Monty Python and the Holy Grail flashbacks). Tim, as it turns out, is the last "Keeper of Time". If Tim dies, so does all that is good and great -- and, of course, the powers of "evil" will reign for the next 500 years.
Enter the bumbling "Bad Wizard" (forget the character name). The Bad Wizard orders a series of attacks against Tim... each one more comical than the last. Thankfully, Tim is befriended by Bullrock (Micheal O'Hearn) and Udo. Bullrock spends the majority of the film showcasing his pectorals, and, occasionally, performing masturbatory combat exercises with his sword. He's also primarily responsible for dispatching the hordes of "target dummies" sent to destroy them. Udo, on the other hand, seems content to spout nonsensical "wizard talk" and "deep philosophy". Other than that, he doesn't really do much of anything.
At some point, the "Bad Wizard" convinces one of his underlings ("Token Hot Chick") to infiltrate this unlikely band of heroes. Needless to say, Bullrock is instantly smitten with Token Hot Chick. They begin professing their undying love for each other -- the day after they meet.
Token Hot Chick's ruse is uncovered near the end of the movie. Someone kills her (Bullrock?). Tim and the "Bad Wizard" go head-to-head for control of the planet. I'll give you one guess as to who won.
Good movie rating: 3/10. Bad movie rating: 8/10.