Review of Toni Erdmann

Toni Erdmann (2016)
1/10
Excruciating, for all the wrong reasons.
27 February 2017
I cannot emphasise how painful this film was for me to sit through. I had been told that I would be howling with laughter one moment and sobbing with sadness the next. As it was about a father-daughter relationship and I have my own complex and historically fraught relationship with my own daughter, I thought that this might be just the thing I need and that I'd find something I could relate to.

I didn't. Nor did I find anything to laugh at. For nearly three hours.

I have never, EVER checked my watch so much while watching a film: regularly checking, counting down the time and thinking, for instance, "It's been an hour, now. Surely something funny has to happen soon?". But no. Unless you consider someone wearing a wig and false teeth hilarious (and for some reason plenty of people do) then there's not much else in here. Oh, and spunk-topped petit fours. Apparently, these are quite a crowd pleaser.

This is one overlong, dreary and tedious film, and I didn't even smile once. The acting is blank, the script sounds as if it were improvised by performers who aren't actually very good at improvising. There is something creepy about the father's stalking of his own daughter, especially when he sneaks into her conveniently unlocked flat and, on hearing her coming, decides to hide in the cupboard.

Hilarious. I can only imagine.

Awful, awful, awful film. I'm so glad it lost out at the Oscars, and I cannot even think what people see in it.
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