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- In the unreal world of Sacred Heart Hospital, intern John "J.D." Dorian learns the ways of medicine, friendship and life.
- J.D. is assigned to look after a difficult, but beautiful, member of Sacred Heart's Board. Her ties to the hospital may not be the only thing that makes it difficult to treat her. Meanwhile Carla freaks out after her mother is injured when she left her to spend the night with Turk.
- J.D, convinced that one of his patients is sick as a result of misconduct on Turk's behalf, questions not only his (Turk's) abilities as a surgeon but their friendship also. Elliot feels disrespected by Dr. Kelso after he refers to her as 'sweetheart' during rounds. In the meantime, J.D. misses his chance to kiss Elliot after being interrupted by Dr. Cox, leaving him 48 hours to get the kiss, in the fear that they will end up as just friends. Will he make it in time?
- It's Thanksgiving at Sacred Heart and J.D. is diagnosed with appendicitis. Dr. Cox tries to gain the attention of his former mentor, and former chief of medicine, Dr. Benson. Meanwhile, Elliot tries to become a 'warmer' doctor towards her patients.
- When J.D. and Turk save a TV cameraman and become local heroes, J.D. embraces it but Turk finds all the attention uncomfortable. Meanwhile, Elliot feels like she doesn't fit in.
- J.D. and Carla struggle as cracks appear in their friendship. Turk battles Kelso for a prime lunch spot and Cox and Elliot disagree over the discharging, or not, of a patient.
- The whole crew learn their share about death when JD takes care of an old woman ready to die, Elliot and Carla watch over a woman who can't speak English, and Turk becomes too close with a patient.
- It is Christmas time and no one except Turk feels like celebrating. Cox gets J.D. to video the birth of a friend's baby, and once again, nothing seems to go right.
- J.D. has a nemesis, Dr. Murdoch. Turk lies to Carla about freezing in surgery.
- While J.D. continues to misinterpret Dr. Cox, Elliot discovers parts of her body may have magical healing properties. Turk tries to woo Carla but she may not be as impressed with his gift as he thinks she should be.
- Three interns - two medical and one surgical - kick off their first day at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.
- The greatest minds of the world have been cloned, and are now attending high school together.
- 2002–200322mTV-147.7 (292)TV EpisodeWhen Gandhi is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, America's most famous A.D.D. victim, Tom Green, teaches the school that you can't get the disease from toilet seats.
- Abe and JFK campaign against each other in the school presidential elections, which, as you might expect, leads to Marilyn Manson singing about the food pyramid.
- 2002–200322mTV-147.7 (366)TV EpisodeAt JFK's kegger, Abe Lincoln tries to win Cleopatra's heart, Gandhi gets drunk on non-alcoholic beer, and Principal Scudworth gets beaten up for saying the phrase "raise the roof."
- At the Clone High Film Festival, Abe pours his heart into a movie about a football-playing giraffe, George Washington Carver and Gandhi make a mixed-race action comedy called Black and Tan, and Joan of Arc directs a bizarre, avant-garde film that only Sigmund Freud understands.
- The Clone High basketball team doesn't allow girls or animals to play, so Joan of Arc takes a cue from her historic counterpart and disguises herself as a boy by putting on a comically large mustache.
- MTV's casting department demonstrates their mastery in being able to attract guest stars of the highest caliber in this episode, as Ashley Angel from O-Town visits Clone High and wins Cleo's heart. Meanwhile, Principal Scudworth chases a rascally skunk whose catch phrase is "Try and catch me, bitch!"
- 2002–200322mTV-148.2 (272)TV EpisodeJack Black guest stars in a trippy rock opera episode where the students get high from smoking raisins, and Gandhi has a bad trip where he is eaten by a live-action cat and encounters a two-headed Olsen Twins monster.
- Clone High tackles the hard-hitting issue of Sleepy Driving when Abe and JFK square off in a drag race for Cleo's love, and Mr. Butlertron gets into a Battle Bots-style fight with a cocksure test-grading machine.
- Between the ever increasing pages from the Hospital, J.D. and Alex can't seem to find a moment to be together, stifling their growing romance.
- After spending a glorious day in bed together, J.D and Elliot expect to be able to keep their new romance a secret. But this is Sacred Heart and nothing is as it seems.
- JD's ne'er-do-well brother hits it off with Elliot.
- J.D. gets more than he bargained for after he convinces Carla to open up to him. Elliot still hasn't learned not to seek Cox's approval.
- J.D. is helping Cox reach a 24-hour goal without losing one patient, but a woman slipped in the hospital and Kelso demands J.D. give her personal attention so she won't sue. Elliot would love to take over, but Cox doesn't acknowledge her.
- Everybody in the hospital is struggling to find a case unique enough to be published in a medical journal for a chance to go to Reno.
- Some pain killers have gone missing and Alex and Elliot argue over where they may have ended up. Turk discovers Cox may have inappropriate feelings for Carla.
- Dr. Cox rails against drug companies while falling for the wiles of a beautiful pharmaceutical saleswoman.
- Dr. Cox must choose between a sexy pharmaceutical representative and his ex-wife.
- Carla makes it her mission to give a coma patient his wishes. Turk tries to get J.D and Elliot back together while J.D. looks after Cox as he loses control.
- Ben's diagnosis sends shock waves throughout the staff at Sacred Heart. Surprisingly Cox is the man keeping everyone afloat.
- The interns try and make it through their last day as interns before they become residents; Carla and Turk discuss their relationship.
- J.D. inadvertently upstages Dr. Cox when he diagnoses a patient with a rare disease. Turk tells Carla that people don't always appreciate her advice. Meanwhile, a patient of Elliot's sues her for malpractice.
- J.D.s mojo goes astray at the very worst time when he gets Gift Shop Girl to date him. Elliott is homeless and apparently friendless. And a pregnant Jordan takes more from Cox's offer to stay at his place then he intended.
- A nice shiny new Doctor's Coat doesn't have the miraculous affect on his skills as J.D. hoped it would. Elliot gets a new nickname following her one night stand with an e.r. doc.
- As Residents on their first solo night shift, J.D., Turk and Elliot must work together to treat a patient. Thankfully for the patient, Carla is there to lend a hand. Cox realizes he still has feelings for his ex-wife.
- When Jordan's brother, Ben, comes in for a medical exam, Dr. Cox reveals his more compassionate side and J.D. must reluctantly deliver the bad news about Ben's health.
- The parents of the interns descend on Sacred Heart. Elliot is embarrassed by her parents, and Turk worries over how well his Mom and Carla will get on. J.D. wishes his father were more of a father.
- As a result of Jordan's intervention, an enormous amount of tension is caused between characters at Sacred Heart. Will prolonged exposure to each other cause compromise?
- Elliot finally has a boyfriend, but her relationship starts to get in the way of her internship. J.D. gets stuck by a needle and worries he may have contracted Hepatitis B.
- JD, Elliot, and Turk each get new students, and they each face difficulties.
- J.D. struggles to treat a horrible patient. Elliot tries to confirm her suspicions that Kelso might be a rock and roll star. Cox finds himself torn between three women.
- Elliot falls for a patient who won't take the hint and ask her out. J.D. is frustrated by Turk's competitive nature.
- 2002–200322mTV-147.8 (228)TV EpisodeAbe is stuck in the middle of a Civil War between Joan and Cleo when they are forced to move in together. And by "Civil War" I mean "girl fight" and by "move in together" I mean "roll around ripping each other's clothes off."
- 2002–200322mTV-148.5 (239)TV EpisodeIn the shocking prom night conclusion to the season, one of the clones loses their virginity, and guest star John Stamos selflessly sacrifices his own life to save the students.
- JFK's best friend Ponce de Leon is the coolest guy in school, and since he loves to litter the rest of the students begin to follow his example, until the litter kills him and JFK must live with the sorrow of losing his best friend.
- 2002–200322mTV-148.3 (222)TV EpisodeAbe tries to decide whether he will ask Joan or Cleo to prom, and JFK makes Gandhi over into GFK to help him find a date to dry hump at prom.
- 2002–200322mTV-147.5 (219)TV EpisodeJoan of Arc learns what inclusive, non-religious holidays are all about.
- Where Perry talks to his psychiatrist about how Jordan wanted him to bond with her family but instead he preferred to stay home and invite some of the guys at the hospital to his place to watch a game, JD gives him the advice to give Kelso the check-up that the latter needs for his insurance and Perry actually listens.