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- The offbeat adventures of Courage, a cowardly dog who must overcome his own fears to heroically defend his unknowing farmer owners from all kinds of dangers, paranormal events and menaces that appear around their land.
- Cory joins the SCP Foundation MTF and is tasked with joining a team of field agents in recapturing monsters that have escaped in the last containment breach. Today they take on Object Class: Safe - SCP-4000: Expunged.
- Flow through adho mukha svanasana, argha pincha mayurasana, shashankasana, eka hasta vyaghrasana, ashtanga namaskara, shashankasana, ardha baddha padmottanasana and pindasana.
- Hal takes the boys to a bridal show; Lois' mother wants to move in with the family; Malcolm gets an offer to enroll in a prestigious private school.
- Lois continues with her strenuous labor, as friends and family all panic around her.
- The family joins a church in order to take advantage of the free day care; Francis concocts a UFO story to help the dude ranch.
- Commandant Spangler announces his mother's visit and Francis uses the opportunity to organize a dance, for which he invites some local girls, which ends up to be a very different experience then the cadets expected. Meanwhile the Kenarbans invite the whole family to a nice dinner that turns into an evening of conflicts, as the families get to know each other better.
- Malcolm meets a chess-playing bum who could be him in 30 years; Lois can't figure out why she's gaining weight; Dewey attributes his bizarre behavior to obeying requests from the fetus Lois is carrying; Francis objects to Piama posing nude in an art class.
- Malcolm stops thinking in order to go out with a very dumb girl. Hal wins some money, and rents a steamroller.
- A family of four is starting over in Phoenix, Arizona, after losing their Oregon home in the recession. Will they stretch their budget to get their dream home, or keep their eye on the bottom line this time around?
- A gifted young teen tries to survive life with his dimwitted, dysfunctional family.
- The misadventures of a vegetarian vampire duck and his servants.
- Malcolm competes in an academic octathlon but hates the intensity of the other competitors; Hal fights to regain Dewey's love; Reese tries to get out of going to a formal dance; Francis and Piama's argument over chores proves highly contagious to other couples.
- Reese is visited by an Army buddy who develops a crush on Lois. Hal starts feeling useless when Lois buys orthotics and no longer needs his tender loving care.
- On a visit to Francis' dude ranch Hal can't help being disappointed in Francis' success, Reese and Malcolm fear Francis has turned into an overly responsible grownup, and Gretchen punishes Dewey for breaking a valuable doll.
- The family joins the Burning Man Festival, where Reese and Lois find creative freedom, Malcolm finds love, Hal finds a big audience and Dewey find himself doing all the chores.
- Lois finally gets Dewey out of the Buseys special needs class. In response to losing their new 'leader' they run away to be with him. Hal still has no job and picks up a bunch of dumb, but nice, body builders for his latest manic craze.
- Unable to function without Dewey, Buseys special needs class panics and takes their teacher hostage when he threatens to call the police on one of the kids for a minor infraction. After other faculty members are taken, a return visit from Dewey accompanied by Francis leads to a new revelation about the "education" the kids are receiving.
- It's Spring break, and Malcolm is stuck working the graveyard shift with his mom, and Reese inherits a box of caterpillars from a shady pest controller. Malcolm investigates something weird at work.
- Dewey invites a destructive friend for an overnight visit; Lois is on the hunt for a decade old blender warranty.
- Hal and the boys enter the season of goodwill in a competitive spirit when the local church starts to undercut them on Christmas tree prices.
- As Lois and Hal write their wills in preparation for the baby's birth, they recall various colorful incidents with their four current children.
- Malcolm and his family go to Hal's work picnic. Hal tries to avoid meeting the new boss and in return is mistaken for the boss. Dewey eats too much candy. Malcolm meets up with a girl from his past. In Alaska, Francis goes up against a girls ice hockey team in order to earn some much needed cash.
- When Dewey is in danger of joining the Krelboynes, Malcolm interferes with disastrous results. Meanwhile Hal 'discovers' his latest mania when he sees Craig dancing in a family restaurant.
- When Malcolm becomes editor of the high school literary magazine, the principal instructs him to censor a well-written story; Lois encourages Hal to flirt with a new supervisor so he can keep his job; Francis teaches Otto how to waltz; and Reese pulls a prank on Dewey.
- Reese inadvertently perfects Malcolm and Stevie's science experiment, but can't remember how he did it; Dewey dreams up reasons for people to buy the candy he's selling door-to-door; and Francis aids a piglet.
- Malcolm and his family goes to Hals father's house for a reunion. The family doesn't like Lois. Reese and Dewey try to get in their grandfathers will. Malcolm's grandfather takes a special interest in him, while the young cousins love Francis.
- Malcolm sneaks around to date a girl whose father hates him; Hal and Lois become more productive when they can't have sex for a week; Dewey discovers he's an "evil twin"; Francis mediates a dispute between Otto and his cowboy neighbors.
- Today is Malcolm's birthday and unfortunately he and Reese are in a long prank war against each other. Meanwhile Francis does battle with a legend about an evil cow at the Grotto Ranch and Hal is forced to enlist Craig Feldspar to help him with a comic book present.
- The family decides to hold a garage sale to fund repairs of the bedroom wall and Lois puts Reese in charge. Hal finds his old radio-transmitter and starts running a pirate broadcast like he once operated in college.
- Stevie goes into shock when he's told Kitty divorced Abe; Reese gets caught up in the hot-and-heavy entries in a diary, unaware it belongs to Lois; Otto and Francis have to put down an old horse; Dewey finds he likes the taste of baby food.
- Hal has finally made a deal with Ed for the boys to have their own computer. Unfortunately, it doesn't come without favors. They find out that Ed is a philanderer and has a ton of undeleted e-mails from the women in their neighborhood to prove it. Reese sees this as an opportunity to blackmail him to his own twisted scheme. Then, Hal decides to coach Dewey's losing team into better soccer players. Meanwhile, Piama is fed up with Lavernia mistreating Francis, and decides to make her pay for it. She steals her precious parakeet and holds it hostage until Lavernia treats her husband better.
- Hal is stressed about a gift for Lois for their 20th anniversary. He begins sleepwalking, and Reese discovers Hal is highly suggestible in that state. Meanwhile, two of Dewey's Busey classmates run for student council.
- It's Hal's birthday and Lois has Francis come home to celebrate it with the family as a surprise. The surprise is on her and the rest of the family as Francis comes home with a wife he married in Alaska named Piama.
- Strapped for cash for the holidays, Hal and Lois decide that all Christmas gifts this year should be handmade. But when Hal sees the thoughtful, quality gifts the boys made, he feels bad about his shoddy attempt and panics.
- Hal feels betrayed when his friend Trey charges $2,000 to fix Hal's tooth; Malcolm and Dewey find a new mattress; and Reese teaches Lois how to ride a bike.
- Hal spends a wild night with an old high school buddy; Malcolm tries to liberate Dabney from his mother's control; Francis spends the night with Otto when their wives are out of town.
- While Hal and Lois are away for the weekend, Francis, visiting home from military school, is in charge of the house. Right away his friends come over and mess it up, so Francis and the boys clean it up to show Francis is responsible and might be allowed to leave military school and come home. All goes well...until a shelf falls on Malcolm, injuring him.
- Lois and Hal clash after Hal purchases a hot tub; Malcolm gets his driver's permit, only to get mixed up in a dispute between Polly and her ex-boyfriend; and Reese steals Dewey's friend.
- In a desperate attempt to get rid of his Krelboyne past and start afresh, Malcolm ends up making things even worse than they were.
- When Grandma Ida visits the family once more, she ends up saving Dewey's life from being run over thus having her leg amputated. Lois forces Francis to take care of his grandma as he's unemployed. Meanwhile Reese and Malcolm decides to go three days without sleeping on the grounds that one of them will be super glued if he fall asleep. Dewey tries to have a leg funeral after feeling bad about what happened to Ida.
- Grandma Ida makes another conjugal visit at the Wilkerson house. This time she isn't alone as she walks in with her beau, Mr. Li a wealthy, widowed Chinese man whom she met at a cruise. Hal and the boys see this as an opportunity to get Ida off their backs once and for all. But Lois thinks that her mother is up to no good as usual. Meanwhile, Malcolm has just got his tongue pierced, but it gets infected right away so he can't say any words that involves an "s" in them. On the day of his grandmother's wedding, he confirms his mother's suspicions when he finds anti-depressant pills in Ida's bag.
- Ida forces Lois to bake a special tart for an old-world saint's holiday; Malcolm meets his match with music appreciation; and Hal tries to bond with Reese by watching gory horror movies with him.
- Lois fantasies what her life would be like if she'd had girls instead of boys.
- When Hal kicks Malcolm out of the house for misbehaving, Reese tries to take advantage of Hal's distraction to come up with a truly bad stunt of his own, and Francis takes offense when Otto's musician nephew plays a musical accompaniment to Francis' every move.
- Kitty returns to the her family after leaving them. However, Lois refuses to accept her back in the neighborhood and refuses to talk to her.
- Hal has a hard decision on his hands, one of the neighbors has been in a coma and he has to decide whether or not to keep him on life support or pull the plug. He's always turned to Lois to make decisions for him. After another argument between the nurse and the doctor, he ends up paralyzed from the waist up. Meanwhile, Craig enlists Reese, Malcolm and Dewey to help him fight dirty against a childhood bully, who is indeed his estranged, healthy father.
- After Reese is severely humiliated by four girls at school, Lois exacts revenge on them; and Hal builds a pitching machine while hiding out from Lois in the garage.
- Lois' younger sister, Susan, makes a surprise visit to the Wilkerson house. Immediately, she treats Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey like the sons she wishes she had with Hal instead of being single and alone. She also treats Lois as a plague in her life and blames her for being unmarried status. She tells the boys that ever since she caught their mother having sex with their father, she has refused to accept their relationship. However, Susan is plagued with a kidney disease and Lois tries to offer hers for her sister.
- When Lois gives the boys $10 each to buy her a present, they decide to get something for themselves, which causes her to have grief. When Hal also forgets her birthday, Lois decides that is enough, so she escapes until the family finally decides that they need her. Meanwhile, Francis brings home a beautiful African woman.