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1-50 of 87
- Phil and Claire's kids walk in on them having sex while delivering their anniversary present, Gloria tries to keep Claire from seeing an angry e-mail, and Mitchell and Cameron contemplate how to cover up a juice stain on a rug.
- Cameron breaks out his favorite clown costume to make Luke's birthday party a hit. However, a series of accidents causes the party to break into chaos and leads to an unfortunate injury.
- Jay takes Gloria to see David Brenner. Mitchell and Cameron try to set Manny up on a date. Phil and Claire try to spice things up by going on a romantic getaway.
- Three different, but related, families face trials and tribulations in their own uniquely comedic ways.
- Claire goes through great lengths to organize a family portrait. Gloria and Phil have an awkward moment while taking Manny and Alex to a Lakers game. Cameron becomes a wedding singer, and Jay has to help Luke with a school project.
- Jay's plans to relax in Hawaii are thwarted. Phil tries to make the vacation special for Claire, but this results in the kids being unsupervised. Mitchell and Cameron debate on what to see.
- Jay and Manny are left to accompany Lily at her recital as Mitchell and Cameron bring Gloria along as translator as they adopt a Mexican child. Meanwhile, Haley has a surprise announcement about her plans after high school.
- Claire needs the family's help to run Halloween smoothly at their house. Jay and Manny have fun at Gloria's expense, and the holiday brings back painful memories for Cameron.
- A birthday dinner for Manny at a family restaurant turns into a race for Phil and Claire and a chance for Cameron to socialize at a shopping mall while looking for a gift.
- Jay must adapt to his young new wife, Gloria and her son. Meanwhile, Claire deals with her own family. Mitchell and Cam decide to adopt a baby.
- A conflict between Manny and Luke spreads to their respective parents during a football game.
- Phil and Claire have some trepidation when they find out that Luke has befriended their crotchety old neighbor, Mr. Kleezak; Jay's attempt to avoid sitting through a symphony concert with Gloria and Manny lands him in the middle of Mitchell and Cameron's "boys' night out"; and Haley has her own adventures in babysitting with Lily.
- Phil's new real estate ad creates embarrassment for Claire and Haley, Cameron goes over the top while directing a school musical, and Jay's brother comes to town with some surprising news.
- Gloria's birthday present to Jay of a trip to Hawaii becomes a vacation for the entire family.
- After buying a new bike for his son, Phil ends up lying when it gets stolen. Jay tries bonding with Manny. Cam and Mitchell begin daycare classes for Lily.
- Jay's ex-wife shows up for the first time following a nasty incident at Gloria and Jay's wedding.
- Claire tries to stop a woman from speeding in the neighborhood, which creates a business conflict for Phil. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron befriend a strange new neighbor, and Gloria and Manny learn how to ride a bicycle.
- Phil and Claire trade discipline roles for the day, Gloria forces Jay to listen to a horrible business proposal, and Mitchell tries to convince a sick Cameron to let him go to the Lady Gaga concert without him.
- Phil, Claire, and the kids try to improve their communication skills by giving up their electronic devices. Gloria is getting obsessed over a neighbor's barking dog, and Mitchell and Cameron try to find a preschool for Lily.
- Haley tries to convince Alex not to deliver an angry graduation speech, Jay has a botched Botox procedure, and Cameron gets upset with Mitchell because he keeps laughing at his accidents.
- Lily has problems with Mitchell and Cameron's plans to adopt another child, Jay tries to get Manny to confess to stealing a locket at school, and Claire goes to extreme lengths to prove that she was right in an argument.
- Phil tries to build a treehouse, Haley struggles with writing a college admissions essay, Cameron hits on a single woman to win a bet with Mitchell, and Jay doesn't want to go out salsa dancing with Gloria and another couple.
- Visiting the happiest place on earth triggers old memories and creates new ones.
- Phil and Claire cancel Christmas for their kids until they confess to wrongdoings at the house. Jay is hesitant to celebrate Gloria and Manny's holiday traditions. Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to meet Santa.
- Mitchell tells Jay that one of his friends is gay to teach him a lesson, Claire gets frustrated with Phil's new master remote control, and Gloria gives Manny's "date" a makeover to improve her self-esteem.
- Claire feels like a loser when she catches up with an old friend from work, Jay and Cameron have an unpleasant "encounter" in a locker room, and Mitchell tries to give legal advice to Gloria after she has a wreck.
- Jay and Mitchell attempt to bond while watching a meteor shower, but things don't go according to plan. Gloria and Cameron try to find something else to occupy their time. Claire and Phil try to help their kids with their school projects.
- Phil and Clair try to revisit an old Valentine's Day act, Jay tries to surprise Gloria with a romantic dinner, Mitchell and Cameron disagree over Mitchell's assistant's crush, and Manny gives Haley relationship advice.
- Mitchell and Cameron try to determine Lily's guardian in case something happens to them, Claire is scared that Luke will turn out like Phil, and Haley bonds with Alex after she is forced to take Alex to cello practice.
- Cameron is upset that Mitchell thinks he's the "Mom" of the family, Claire and Gloria take the kids on a disastrous hike, and Phil witnesses Jay tearing up while they prepare Mother's Day dinner.
- Cameron is upset with Mitchell's lack of public affection, Gloria gets back at Jay for disrespecting her Colombian traditions, and Claire goes overboard as Alex tries to get her first kiss.
- Gloria helps Phil figure out why Claire is mad at him, Mitchell forgets to send out invitations to Cameron's fundraiser, and Alex tries to prove that Haley is lying when she says she has a job as a waitress.
- Jay wants nothing more than to have a quiet birthday out fishing on the lake, but the family take that as him wanting a big celebration, and in their frantic scramble to put everything together, Claire and Mitchell wind up trapped in the yard of their childhood home; Phil runs into his old college nemesis while at the mall with Gloria and Lily; Cameron gets himself into some hot water at the bakery, and the kids frantically do some creative editing on grandpa's birthday video, all of which leaves Jay with a headache.
- Phil tries to learn tightrope walking, Haley and Alex wind up in the same math class, Gloria becomes upset over Jay's pampering of the dog, and Mitchell joins Cameron on a juice fast.
- Phil proposes that the entire family celebrate "Express Christmas" together on December 16, when they discover that they won't be spending Christmas Day together.
- Jay takes Phil on a model-airplane excursion with disastrous results. While Manny is at their house, Claire must get used to the fact they are actually siblings.
- The whole family comes out to support Manny's newfound interest - fencing. It turns out he's quite masterful in the sport, but Jay's proud enthusiasm triggers an old childhood wound for Mitchell. Meanwhile Phil is determined to find where Luke's hidden talents lie.
- Manny's dad shows up bearing extravagant gifts, Mitchell and Cameron fight over how to care for their daughter when she cries at night, and Claire tries to impress the firefighters who responded to Phil's kidney stone 911 call.
- Mitchell and Claire agree to break some embarrassing news to each other's significant others, Jay makes a fool of himself at what he thinks is a quinceanera, and Haley helps Alex try to make a popular friend.
- The Dunphys get nostalgic when Phil has to get rid of their station wagon. Cameron begs Jay to intervene when Mitchell wants to build Lily a castle, and Manny invites a girl over to study.
- The family's dude ranch vacation turns into disaster when Dylan proposes to Haley, Alex gets an unexpected first kiss, their cowboy guide keeps hitting on Gloria, and Phil goes out of his way to impress Jay.
- Claire, Hayley, and Alex's cycles ruin Phil's big Leap Day plans, Mitchell tries to throw an elaborate party for Cameron's "tenth" birthday, and Gloria wants Jay to get in a fight.
- Jay and Gloria argue about how a waitress is closer to Jay than Gloria. Luke is awarded a medal for putting out a fire he started, Phil tries to fire Mitchell, and Claire and Cam fight about Cam's parenting strategies.
- Jay has a sleepover for his grandkids, but Haley is looking for a way out. Claire tries to get a perfect anniversary gift for Phil, and Mitchell and Cameron discover that their ladyfriend is crazy and jealous of their daughter.
- Haley confronts a terrifying driving examiner in her third attempt to pass the road test. Alex is nervous about a school dance. Gloria taunts Jay and Manny to ride a roller coaster. Phil and Luke look for treasure under the house.
- Jay accidentally kills Manny's pet turtle and lies about it, Claire becomes jealous when Phil's ex-girlfriend pays a visit, and Mitchell makes a bold decision after he misses a family day because he's called in to work.
- Jay takes on Gloria and Manny in the ultimate chess game. Claire goes all out to find a cool new electronic gadget for Phil's birthday gift, and Cameron pokes his nose into a neighbor's affairs.
- Phil is upset that Claire is stifling his creativity, Mitchell doesn't believe Cameron's "punkin chunkin" story, Gloria won't let Jay tell Manny that his Thanksgiving centerpiece is horrible, and Hayley and Alex get in an accident.
- As the family collects goods for a family whose house burned down, Jay makes an embarrassing remark to Phil during a massage, Claire is jealous of Mitchell's friendship with Gloria, and Cameron struggles with a moving van in a parking lot.
- Claire thinks Phil's prospective new client is hitting on her, tensions rise as Mitchell and Cameron temporarily stay with Jay and Gloria, and Alex becomes jealous when Hayley volunteers as a Big Sister.