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1-172 of 172
- Alex's friend dies in an accident. As the family grieves, Alex tries to mask his pain, but he can't hide his sadness and other emotions forever.
- Alex starts his sophomore year looking for a girlfriend in the freshman directory. He meets Tricia, who seems to be everything he wants. However, after a spat with Tricia's roommate Ellen, Alex finds that despite having nothing in common with Ellen, he is developing feelings for her.
- Alex is an emotional wreck, still with boring Tricia - who he doesn't care for - after kissing her intriguing roommate Ellen, who turned back to accept her Dennis' proposal to a sudden wedding in Pennsylvania without a single guest. Alex even worries so much that the whole time allotted for a Leland test essay he would have aced elapses without him writing a single line. After Ellen agrees to Alex's offer of a ride to the train station, he is filled with hopes of stopping her, but is once more unable to express his emotions. Once Alex has gathered the courage at home, he drives all the way to race her train to its destination, but arrives just minutes after it has come and gone - so it appears to be too late.
- Mallory introduces her new boyfriend, Nick, to the family. He isn't well received, and Steven realizes that he needs to trust Mallory and let her make her own choices.
- The parents are away for a few days, Alex is in charge but cares only for his date Monica, so he wants the girls out; Mallory 'drives' straight into a telephone pole, now they must come up with some $300 to pay for repairs. Alex decides to earn enough by renting out rooms with ocean views to traveling Leland sports game attendants, who certainly bid enough to make a profit on top. Skippy, who can't go home, is happy to stay as unpaid bellhop and sleeps on the floor like the girls, 'hotel manager' Alex gets the couch and can't resist to keep the sweet money flowing in. Then dad calls: he'll be home in a few hours. The guests even brought fellow Leland fans to celebrate their victory frat-style...
- As Alex packs his belongings for a move to New York, each family member has a chance to say goodbye. Nick and Skippy show up to help Alex pack, and his ex-girlfriend Lauren brings a gift.
- Alex turns to amphetamines to get through a particularly stressful period of exams and scholarship applications.
- After jogging with Elyse, Steven feels chest pains. He is taken to the hospital, and they find out he had a heart attack. While there, the family meets relatives of patients who suffered heart attacks, while facing the issue of mortality.
- Steven has an operation to clear a valve after his heart attack. As they wait and worry, Elyse and the kids remember life with Steven. They take comfort talking and sharing with other people, while their concerns over the future deepen.
- Family and friends continue their vigil while Steven has his operation. The operation is a success, and home they go. But Steven has to adjust to restrictions in food and activity, while the family treats him as an elderly invalid.
- Mallory and Nick are determined to get married, so they decide to elope. Alex tries to talk her out of it, but only after they have been gone for some time does he go after them. When Steven and Elyse learn of this, they panic; Steven hopes Alex can stop them, while Elyse concedes they'll have to grudgingly accept the situation. But while waiting for the justice of the peace to be available, Nick has second thoughts about what they're doing.
- Jennifer's actions instigate a meeting of the school board to discuss if "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" or other books should be banned from being read by students.
- Andy becomes the official school buddy for a new boy in his kindergarten class. Josh is deaf, and he and Andy become good friends. When some other kids pick on Josh, Andy stops talking to become closer with Josh.
- Teacher/parent interviews at Alex and Mallory's school become interesting when both Steven and Elyse contend with a rude, insufferable teacher.
- Nick is worried that the constant disapproval he receives from Elyse and Steven will ultimately cost him his relationship with Mallory. Eager to change, Nick turns to Alex for help. Unfortunately, Nick turns into another "Alex," and while he is now pleasing to Elyse and Steven, he turns off Mallory.
- Alex hires a 13-year-old tutor, Eugene Forbes, to help him bring his grade up in advanced geometry from an 89% to 90%. However, Eugene is immediately distracted when he meets Jennifer, and he struggles to learn how to take a break from being an intellectual genius and to be a 13-year-old kid. Meanwhile, Steven is struggling to keep the family's spending in check.
- Jennifer writes a report on "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" for her English class, even though it's now on a list of banned books. She becomes the focus of a battle over rights of free speech.
- Uncle Ned pays the Keatons a visit. However, it becomes quickly evident to Alex that Ned has developed a drinking problem. Alex tries to convince his reluctant family of Ned's addiction before it's too late.
- Alex is feeling insecure about not being a part of Ellen's world of art and dance. Fearful that he might lose her, Alex decides to learn all he can about art and dance...including auditioning for a part at Ellen's dance class. Meanwhile, Steven is upset about missing Monday Night Football games because he and Elyse have joined a book club.
- Steven's station offers one scholarship for a child of an employee. Alex happily applies, though Mallory must be talked into trying for it. Alex is certain he will be selected, but has unexpected emotions about Mallory's aspirations.
- While at the family home to help their mother sell the house, Steven and his brother argue over childhood issues. As they argue, they also mellow.
- Elyse's brother Ned shows up unexpectedly, and displays odd caution about anyone knowing where he is. After he admits ending his highly promising business career in New York, the Keatons are concerned about who might be hot on his tail.
- Elyse faces the agonizing choice between helping her brother Ned remain a fugitive or turning him in, and Alex also wonders how to deal with the situation. With the family increasingly involved, Ned considers his options with the FBI.
- Alex is in charge of organizing Leland's parents' weekend. His girlfriend Ellen is angry, because Alex personally invited her father, corporate lawyer Franklin Reed, whom she rejected as a foul materialist years ago. Astonished and excited to learn she comes from a rich family, Alex eventually gets her to agree to a truce. When Mr. Reed drops by, the men prove birds of a feather - but will father and daughter make up?
- Steven faces temptation at work when his new production assistant takes a liking to him.
- With just four weeks to graduation, Mallory is in danger of flunking history and not getting her diploma, stunning her parents. Needing a "B" on the final exam, she realizes that her future is on the line as she buckles down and studies for her exam. Meanwhile, Steven and Alex agonize over mementos from the attic that Elyse wants to discard.
- Alex loses his heart, and a lot more, to a fast college girl after he meets her while making grocery deliveries.
- Steven worries about Andy's inability - at 11 months - to handle a toy recommended for babies over 9 months, and he determines the toddler needs to go to preschool, which Elyse forbids. Alex enjoys the rare honor of being picked as Professor Spanos's teaching assistant for economics, but finds himself conflicted when Ellen is among his students. An arrogant professorial air and ruthless strictness come naturally to "Mr. Keaton", but he talks Ellen out of changing to another teacher to assure impartiality. Once Alex grades her first paper a C-, their relationship - which is also forbidden under college rules - is in danger.
- Mallory feels the pressure of college and home, and finds it too much. Talking with Nick, she dreams more of married life with a family than of college. They decide to get married, but her family is shocked and tries to talk her out of it.
- Steven must be in Washington for PBS on Alex's 18th birthday, so Elyse throws him a surprise party a few days early. On his big day, Alex fails to pass 'taking out the trash' down to one of his siblings, then declines a restaurant dinner because he wants to go to Camelot Inn in West Virginia with Neil and Doug, where the 18-year-olds can drink legally. Elyse forbids this blatantly, but the guys' taunting lures him along anyway, and just as they're pretending to be pilots about to invade Canada, Elyse arrives to drag him home. Alex is beyond furious for days, but they end up talking it through.
- Alex is turned down when he asks his dream girl Jocelyn to the senior prom, and then invites the more unassuming Rachel. But when Jocelyn becomes available again, Alex finds himself with two dates, and devises a plan to take them both.
- Mallory is hurt and confused after a close family friend makes a pass at her.
- Alex decides to apply at the college where Mallory's ex Jeff is. So when he goes for his interview she decides to go with him so that she could see Jeff. When she sees him she finds him with another girl. After seeing him she goes looking for Alex so that they could leave but Alex is having his interview with the Dean which she can't help but disrupt.
- Steven gets depressed from interviewing frightfully inept candidates as housekeeper-nanny for the baby, such as a child-hater ad an ex-con. Alex is impressed with Karen Nicholson, regardless of lack of any vaguely domestic experience, even hires her on his own. Even with help from Alex and his sisters, who quickly take to her too, she's a household failure bordering on disaster, yet nobody wants to fire her for 'just' wrecking the house till it just gets too much for dad...
- Money-hungry Alex gets a job as a mall Santa. While Alex sees the holiday as a financial event, he gets caught up in the reason for the season when a little girl only wants her father home for a Christmas gift.
- Skippy has trouble meeting girls, so Lauren decides to be a matchmaker. As they work together, he falls in love with her. Jennifer gets her learner's permit; Steven and Elyse compete to show who is the better driving instructor.
- Dad Steven postulates for the job of regional PBS manager, interested in programming clout rather then the pay raise - despite his poor performance, he got the job, in fact in advance. The family is disappointed he's home much less - except Alex, who even acts as Dad's tough appointment bookkeeper. Alex is terribly worried for his beloved baby brother Andy's manhood when the kid takes a ferocious fancy to a doll Ellen gave him. Steven starts feeling guilty never to be available for the children's activities, enough to rethink his goals.
- Steven's brother Rob visits, but stuns everyone by announcing he and his wife have separated and are filing for divorce; he is dating a woman he just met on the plane. Mallory and Jennifer find excuses to see a cute paramedic at the mall.
- Alex reluctantly preps Mallory for a high school television quiz show when he can't find anyone else to fill an empty spot on his team - but when the cameras are on, he's the one who freezes up.
- Jennifer is tired of being outclassed by classmates, so she asks the academically brilliant Alex (who won the Thomas Dewey best student achievement award three years in a row) to help her prepare a social studies presentation on how a bill becomes a law. Alex accepts, provided she do it his way, all the way. After assigning her reading at an Ivy League level, then attends her presentation (pretending to be a quarry worker too dumb to understand) - cueing her in a brilliant show with lights, music, patriotic panache and the flawless story, complete with the printing on parchment. Afterwards, both parents claim credit for the talent running in the family, and her teacher Mrs. Pedroza enters Jennifer for the Dewey Award. Alas, Jen is uncomfortable about how much of the project has actually been done by Alex, with her simply parroting his words, and once onstage she feels unable to go trough with the 'deceit'. After getting an impossible question from lawyer Ralph Boswell - who bickers with Steven about whether his Timmy is brighter then their toddler Andy - Alex takes the floor to try and salvage the occasion. Jen blames Alex for the embarrassment, but the smart siblings talk it through and reconcile their views on academic achievement.
- 1982–19891hTV-PG7.6 (117)TV EpisodeBack to school; Jennifer in high school and Andy in kindergarten. Alex and Mallory return to college. Alex is asked to participate in a psychology study by a co-student, Lauren. They get off to a bad start, but slowly find the attraction.
- Nick needs somewhere to stay while his apartment is painted, and the Keatons take him in for the week. Steven, on vacation, warily monitors Nick and Mallory, but his longstanding distant attitude towards Nick leads to a confrontation, and a reevaluation of his opinion of Nick. Elyse resists having Alex do the family's taxes, not wanting to exploit what she regards as unfair loopholes - but how long can she hold out?
- Mallory gets an internship at a fashion company and is ecstatic. She is happy to share her ideas, but is shocked when her new mentor passes Mallory's designs off as her own. Mallory confronts her, but nothing seems like it will change.
- Alex must take a humanities course at college even though he doesn't want to, so he signs up for the student helpline. There he runs into James, an old enemy. When the duo get stuck at the station with their teacher, they are told they can lock up. Alex soon realizes that he's bitten off a little more than he can chew when a troubled teen calls in with thoughts of suicide.
- Since her birthday party, Jennifer is spending all her spare time with her new 'cool' airhead friends, doing atypical things such as mall-shopping - spending all her babysitting savings - and scorning her own habits and family traditions, and no longer dares to sit with real friend Beth. She even lets Chrissy convince her to ditch a math class for a sale. Ellen and Mallory try to reassure Alex that the newly 13-year-old Jennifer is just becoming aware of her sexuality. A call from vice-principal Ross about Jen's truancy makes Steven and Elyse ground her indefinitely. She seems to have lost interest in the Bengals-Steelers football game Steven was proud to get tickets for, and even Mallory is now exasperated by Jen's change. While the family is out, Stacie's 'cool' gang barges in for an improvised party, and breaks out some beer. When the intruders even tell her friend Beth to leave, as 'this is a private party', Jen is through not being her Keaton self at all.
- Skippy is frustrated over not getting into a fraternity, so Alex talks to the brothers at his frat's local chapter, and Skippy gets accepted. But Alex is conflicted when he learns they only want to make him a laughingstock.
- As Jennifer is growing up, Steven finds himself increasingly left out of her activities, and begins to feel that he is no longer an important part of her life. Meanwhile, Alex attempts to refute a traffic ticket, which he blames on Mallory.
- Andy celebrates his 7th birthday, and Alex tells him to just look for cash and not read the cards. Nick is reunited with his dog from when he lived at home. But after he runs in the street and is hit by a car, Nick faces difficult choices.
- Back at work at the architecture firm for a year, Elyse is quite happy to collaborate closely with Paul Kenter, but her younger colleague confides to their boss Raymond that he has a problem - he has fallen secretly but passionately in love with the happily married mother of four. Unsuspecting Elyse asks him over for a family dinner to celebrate landing a major account. Paul confesses his problem apologetically to Steven, but still keeps quiet to Elyse. When Steven tells her, she is first flattered, but then learns that Paul has quit his job because of the situation.
- Working at the school radio station, Alex sets himself up a blind date with a fellow music enthusiast who ends up being 39-year-old Lorraine. The two enjoy themselves as their relationship blossoms, but Alex's parents have problems with the age difference between the two.
- Mallory has to work with a partner for a paper and is teamed with a senior citizen. The experience gives her a different outlook on college classes and life. Alex offers to help his father write his will, but gets a bit too involved.
- 1982–19891hTV-PG7.5 (113)TV EpisodeAlex and Lauren continue with the psychology test, and their attraction to each other continues. Alex impulsively kisses her during a session. Worried about crossing the line, they are hesitant but work things out.
- The Keatons are delighted by a surprise visit from Elyse's Aunt Rosemary. The family starts to notice a difference in her actions, and Rosemary finally admits she is becoming forgetful. A doctor diagnoses the onset of Alzheimer's disease.
- 1982–198925mTV-PG7.5 (105)TV EpisodeLauren returns from her conference, and Alex confesses he is interested in Marty more than he should be, forcing him to choose between the two women. As he graduates from college, Alex must makes decisions about his life and future.
- Nick wants a job at the YMCA, but is turned down because he does not have a high school diploma, so Mallory helps him study for an equivalency test. Jennifer is upset with her father for his carpool conversations.
- Steven and Elyse wants to take the entire family on a camping trip, but the three oldest do not want to go. After their parents leave, the children feel guilty and head out to the campsite. Unfortunately, they get lost.
- Alex hasn't slept in over a week. Lonely nights are spent triggering the smoke alarm, and even asking Skippy to spend the night. Elyse confesses that she has battled insomnia as well, and she is able to help Alex finally fall asleep.
- While everyone is at Steven's PBS telethon, he is at home for plumbing issues. As Elyse sings on the air, she goes into labor. With snowstorm complications, Elyse gives birth at the television station as Steven races to get back in time.
- When Alex, as Leland chess club champion, duels reputed Soviet guest Ivan Rozmirovich, he takes it as a personal and patriotic challenge, stirred by a telegram from the White House. The match is commented by desperate dad Steven and American chess-master Eric Nordstrom whose seemingly silent-succinct style at his debut is likely to be his undoing as commenter. After endless equal quality, Ivan's last move before adjournment is an obvious attempt to throw the game, but why? The boys meet in a bar, and Alex learns the official pressure totally spoiled Ivan's love for the game, feeling imprisoned. He decides such fine player, no longer a Red robot but a human in his eyes, deserves better, so they both try to loose, even end up wrestling to stop each-other give-away moves...
- Alex becomes frustrated by his job as a clerk at a struggling neighborhood grocery, and leaves for a better-paying job at a larger store - but he begins to question where he felt more appreciated and fulfilled.
- 1982–198924mTV-PG7.4 (144)TV EpisodeSkippy is smitten with Mallory's friend Jane, and asks Alex to talk to her on his behalf. But when Alex learns he is the object of Jane's longtime affection, he finds himself getting involved with her, and hiding the truth from Skippy.
- Nick's art class at the community center has ended, and he wants to open his own art school to continue working with children. Not able to get a bank loan, he is forced to ask his estranged father to lend him money. His father is hesitant.
- On Jen's 13th birthday, she is unusually resistant to the usual party ingredients; she clearly only pretends to appreciate the hand-puppet show her dad revels in, and actually gets completely obsessed with imitating the fashion-obsessed herd of 'cool kids' at school, even if that means abandoning all her rather tomboy habits. Stacie's gang and chasing boys seem to overtake her whole personality, and she even takes lessons in 'cool' signals and talk from airhead Mallory.
- It's a new academic year for the three Keaton kids. The girls are flippant about it, as every year. High school star Alex makes his entry at prestigious Leland University, overconfident so he puts his foot in his mouth answering professor Ephraim Bronski's rhetorical question whether free speech is an absolute constitutional right. Alex trusts his elaborate paper will more then make up, only to find his plain mate Doug gets the A he expected, he his first-ever, ineffable F: traumatic enough to consider dropping out of college, or at least out of constitutional law. However Bronski had a more inspiring view on Alex's failure...
- Rob's wife Maureen arrives at the Keaton home, and tells Steven that Rob left home and his job two months ago without telling her where he was going. Steven struggles to decide where his relationship with his brother is headed.
- Alex is stunned when his girlfriend is named valedictorian instead of him. He thinks the man should be superior in the relationship, and his attitude threatens to break them up. His father teaches him that love is not about competition.
- Elyse is planning for Mallory's future by sending away for college applications. However, Mallory can't bring herself to tell her mother that she doesn't want to go to college at all. After a disastrous interview with a recruiter, Mallory explains her resistance, which infuriates Elyse, and tempers flare between the two. However, things change when Nick offers Mallory some surprising advice.
- While Alex and Rebecca attend a banking convention, Rebecca is nervous about meeting her boss. She has some drinks to relax, but ends up getting drunk and ruins the meeting. Steven wallpapers the kitchen but makes a mess of the job.
- Steven accepts works of art for WKS's 1986 auction, reluctantly even Alex's "fiscal-surrealist" bank yard eviction drawing (at age 5), and an abstract welded sculpture by Nick - which only gets a bid from filthy rich, glamorous art lover Victoria Hurstenberg, who calls him an irresistible hidden talent. Nick brings more of his works for a private show at the Keaton house, and becomes her protégé. Only Mallory and naive Nick need weeks to realize that time between the two is more limited due to Victoria offering her patronage not just for his art but also for his company. Just when Nick sweetly brushes off Victoria's private attentions with a gentlemanly hug at a gallery, Mallory is there to see it, and dumps her true love. Meanwhile, Steven is trying to find a place for the only painting that didn't get snapped up at the auction - one that brings nostalgic memories only for him.
- Andy starts his first day at preschool, where his favorite activity is Sharing Time. Alex feels he should learn how to deal with a dog-eat-dog world, and tells Andy he does not have to share, which does not go over well.
- The Keaton kids are utterly disgusted to have to participate every year in dad Steven's lame PBS telethon as his loving, fake-enthusiastic WKS family, without ever having been asked, and they don't even hide it anymore. The parents think the asking is the problem, so Steven poses the open question - but all three bail out instantly, Jennifer even without any excuse. After some prodding from adult strangers, who all enjoy the loyalty of Steven's colleagues' families, even Alex ends up caving in. A good luck card doesn't cure their guilt, so after Elyse volunteered to play guitar and sing, the trio turns up unexpectedly. However a totally unexpected Keaton has chosen this day for his early, absolute and hence more memorable debut.
- Jennifer has a boyfriend and feels a bit self-conscious. When the boyfriend is teased at school by a bully, Jennifer steps in to defend him. Alex asks Mallory to take and IQ test and is chagrined when she scores higher than him.
- Steven's father arrives for a visit, resulting in the two clashing as always. When his father reveals an important piece of news, Steven begins to question their whole relationship.
- 1982–198925mTV-PG7.3 (105)TV EpisodeLauren's old boyfriend visits from New York, and Alex is insecure about his relationship with her. He can't figure out what Lauren sees in him, when Eric seems better on every level.
- Alex wouldn't even considering working with dad Steven, a respected producer, at the local TV station, as it is non-profit - but when the last of Alex's applications with banks falls through, he accepts a job as a production assistant for lack of a better opportunity. Dad is proud as a peacock and happy as a clam to show off his prodigy; he has annoyed the staff about him, as very proud dads do, for years. Yet when a bank comes back with a job offer after a medical emergency, Alex writes a letter of notice which Steven doesn't get around to read until after a documentary production crisis, with Alex deciding to stay and help his father all night - a great opportunity for father and son to learn to respect each other while collaborating professionally.
- Jennifer is delighted at the return of Scotty, a neighborhood boy and her garden ball sports friend from a few years ago, who has meanwhile turned into a handsome 17-year-old - according to Mallory, 'grown into his ears' - but unfortunately, Scotty now seems irresistibly drawn to the dumb sister his own age; this leaves Scotty's true friend Jen practically ignored and literally forgotten, but she won't take Alex's word for that just being cruel nature, so she intrudes on the couple's restaurant date. Meanwhile, Elyse is eating like a bear, and Dad is determined to pick and put together a crib - although the blueprints daunt even Alex.
- Alex trades stock on paper for a school project. He tries to persuade his parents to cash in on his promising investment tips, but they decline. Frustrated, he impersonates his father to use their account. Things go well, until they don't.
- Mallory brings a friend home from college who immediately becomes pals with Elyse. Mallory's friend Allison is studying architecture, so she and Elyse spend a lot of time together - leading Mallory to question her closeness to her mother. Meanwhile, Alex and Steven play many games of Scrabble. Of course, Alex gets money involved. They both invent words and the stakes go very high.
- Alex works with a renowned professor on an economics paper. Reviewing the final content, he finds the hypothesis is incorrect, but the professor wants to submit it with false data. Alex and Mallory have a difference of opinion about Andy's wardrobe.
- Alex has a cold, but insists on working all night on his term paper on the Declaration of Independence - which he had used as an example to encourage his dad Steven, who out of inexperience has declined an invitation to testify before Congress in Washington on the funding of PBS. Alex 'wakes up' in a dream as a Philadelphia stable boy, with his uninterested mate 'Skipford', and they accidentally hear Thomas Jefferson turning down John Adams' request to write the Declaration, just because he would rather spend the night fluffing his wig. But Alex won't rest until he makes sure Jefferson does write it, on exactly the kind of paper and in the celebrated phrasing the brilliant student knows by heart.
- Alex's girlfriend Ellen left for Paris and Alex is heartbroken. He finally decides to ask someone out. Mallory & Jennifer help him to change his appearance for the date, and he tries to have Sharon change her appearance to look like Ellen.
- Elyse's sister Michele is visiting with her family. Everyone looks forward to Michele, but not her husband and children; she is friendly and helpful, but the others are loud, rude, and obnoxious. On this visit, they also bring a large dog.
- While Alex is visiting Mallory in the shop where she works, they catch a 12-year-old girl shoplifting several items. Mallory knows that the girl must be turned in to the police, but later expresses a desire to reach out to the girl, named Jessie, out of concern. Steven points out that the Milford Home where Jessie lives is not an orphanage but specializes in problem children, often abused; Nick knows that is true, for one of his cousins lives there (but can't remember his name nor the abusive uncle's). Mallory decides to make the girl her friend, despite Nick's warning that one can't understand such kids, and indeed is repaid by more shoplifting. Meanwhile, little Andy's greater interest for a toy's box then for its contents reminds everybody of Alex's attachment to an identical box, and even at 19 there is a weak spot left in his heart.
- After Steven was looking forward to a weekend camping with the kids, only Jennifer volunteers to forgo urban comforts; Alex can't be bothered, and Mallory can't live without - well, her whole room's contents. Elyse stays home, as she's behind with work and feels miserable, though she just got a clean bill of health after a medical checkup. Skippy turns up, having been invited for dinner by wicked Mallory, and manages to stay for breakfast. Then Elyse's doctor calls with vital news she had presumed impossible; she is as thrilled as surprised, but isn't looking forward to telling Steven he's going to be a dad again. To make it even harder, the camping trip fell through in heavy rain due to Mallory chucking out the tent for her makeup table, so Steven's mood is thundery - yet he soon warms to the idea. Now the parents-to-be-again must tell the children, who have a dauntingly realistic view of the practical price they'll all pay and various objections, while none of them wants another sibling of the opposite sex.
- Alex attends a banking conference with his boss, but when his hotel reservation is lost, he shares a hotel room with his boss. The room is quite small. Elyse and the girls want to remodel the kitchen, although Steven is reluctant.
- As the new editor of the school paper, Alex stumbles upon a cheating scandal that he desperately wants to report, but Mallory is involved
- Mallory runs for class president and Alex becomes her campaign manager.
- Alex committed the surprising error to vent his conviction there are male and female fortes in the feminist home, so he gets stuck following the same elementary car mechanics course as ma Elyse, the architect, who proves more gifted at it. It gets embarrassing when Alex keeps bumbling like any self-respecting nerd covered in grease while she gets 'consulted' by Nick's hunky mate Clete... Meanwhile the girls must try to keep dad Steven in bed, who refuses to admit he's sick.
- For once, airhead Mallory impresses even Alex by being a really good salesperson in a clothes shop. When her parents decide that her bad grades are a result of too much time on her job, she's ordered to quit it, but Jen challenges Alex to convince them to give her another chance. Even though her dad realizes they're being scammed by a master, they agree to a deal: She can keep working if she scores at least Bs on her next three tests. Alex decides to prevent his honorable victory becoming hollow by tutoring her, and succeeds with two tests. However the last, in history, coincides with a clothes sale, and even his tutoring isn't foolproof in such a crowd; she scores only C-, but everyone feels she worked too hard to lose out anyhow.
- Steven's brother Rob visits with his children Marilyn and Jonathan after his divorce is finalized. He now works in outdoor telephone repair. Marilyn is having a hard time with her parents' divorce, and takes it out on the whole family.
- While visiting the Keatons, Rob's daughter Marilyn stays out all night with a guy she just met. Rob realizes he has lost parental control. He talks with Steven about marriage, happiness and children, then takes another chance to talk to Marilyn.
- Elyse and Jennifer hardly notice the vaguely visible mustache Alex has grown for his homecoming speech as a former valedictorian from Harding High School. Skippy is hoping that Mallory is just using Nick to make him jealous, but of course she refuses to go with him to the homecoming dance; Skippy is heart-broken but convinces Alex to find him a blind date. Any human female will do - and Alex, out of desperation, chooses Dr. Sylvia Wagner, a divorced psychiatrist who is researching adolescent social life and sees Skippy as a voluntary study subject. Even for him, she is no catch - but he agrees, hoping absurdly to make Mallory a bit jealous. Nick hates anything involving neckties or school, and the dance involves both. Alex's speech refers repeatedly to facial hair. After vague encouragement from Sylvia, Skippy picks a fight with patient Nick for Mallory, who has been rejecting him for 18 years; grumpy principal Bidney blames both as well as Alex, who only tried to separate them.
- Steven struggles for an idea for his next documentary. When Andy has his new friends visit, the Keatons find out they are from the retirement home, and Steven sees this as his idea. When Joseph proposes to Eva, his son protests.
- Mallory is enthralled in a grad student in her poetry reading group at Grant College. Mallory's boyfriend Nick is concerned that he might lose her to the poet.
- Steven and Elyse are nostalgically excited by a visitor he arranged: Richie Schofield, an old housemate from their Berkeley hippie days - which the kids find just silly, even embarrassingly. However, Elyse and Richie share memories of their time without Steven, who is not amused to find out 22 years later that they had a brief romance while he was working in Alaska during a break from their relationship. Sleeping in the hall makes the jealous husband even crankier. The trio has a restaurant dinner, during which he loses control. As Steven contemplates his outburst and emotions, Alex reminds him of his own life lessons.
- Alex is dead-set to be selected for the Alpha Phi Epsilon fraternity, snobs who fixate on prestige, power and money. He lies his way trough an initial interview with chapter officials Don Caruthers and Craig Duvall, but his trump card, a gorgeous though Mallory-dumb date for the party for preselected candidates, has to cancel. Clumsy housekeeper Karen, Alex's only alternative, says she can't tell him why, would like to help him but just can't. Seeing how badly disappointed he is, she turns up, but clearly knows dean Ian McCall, an alumnus, too well, leaves and explains everything to Steven; her next move...
- Steven wants to throw a surprise birthday party for Elyse, but everyone knows he never throws a good surprise party. Also, Skippy meets one of Mallory's friends and is attracted to her. He asks her out and she agrees. Then he is nervous.
- With Stephen and Elyse away for the weekend, Alex hosts a wild party and worries over Mallory going off with one of his womanizing friends. Elyse tries to rein in Stephen's competitive streak.
- Mallory considers taking a big step in her relationship with her boyfriend, Rick.
- Hoping to be invited to join a popular sorority, Mallory convinces Alex to go out with an influential member who likes him; in turn, Alex must persuade Mallory to go out with Skippy to cancel out a lost wager.
- Alex must contend with a childhood playmate staying at the house who is unlike any girl he's known - or been attracted to - before, and has to decide whether to try and change her personality to his liking.
- When Elyse invites Terry Bridgeman - her former architecture collaborator before her pregnancy - for dinner, she learns that his girlfriend left him, and succumbs to matchmaking. Alas, Elyse picks neighbor Liz Obeck, who gave even Alex sleepless nights; Liz tells Steven that men fall for her only to be dumped, and notes that she already has a steady boyfriend of two years. By the time Steven passes the news to the insistently preoccupied Elyse, Terry is smitten with Liz. Nick helps Alex to a free gift for Andy's fellow toddler friend Cindy - a doll refused by the orphanage, so the boys must dress it up.
- While working as a DJ for his college's radio station, Alex plays a blues track and announces that the performer is dead. The blues singer calls in and says that news of his death is premature. He agrees to visit the station for a talk.
- Andy finds a new friend in Nick's nephew Rocco, who prefers trucks to finance, so Alex feels rejected when Andy seems to prefer Rocco. Steven is upset at the size of the family's bills, and tries to reduce costs around the house.
- Lauren is writing a paper on the typical American family, and uses the Keatons as an example. With her questions, the family reminisces about the events that help demonstrate the answers.
- Jennifer helps tutor a star athlete who is having problem with science class. She pretends to be dumb in other subjects so he does not think she is just a brain. He invites her out, and she continues her dumb act.
- With Christmas just around the corner. Alex finds himself lacking holiday spirit as the rest of the Keaton clan prepares for the celebration. On Christmas Eve Alex is visited in a dream by ghostly messengers who give him a view of his past and future Christmases along with a different perception of the holiday.
- Alex likes Mallory's favorite aunt Gertrude 'Trudy' Harris for one reason: the pair of airheads regularly go somewhere together, out of his way. After such trip, Trudy gets a heart attack, Skippy helps rush her to the hospital but she doesn't survive. The Keatons hold her wake, but it gets a mixed crowd: Alex never canceled the garage sale. At the funeral, truly mournful Mallory makes a scene because the reverend's speech is fake, every detail wrong as he never met her...
- Mallory and Skippy attend Career Day at Grant College. Skippy finds out he has no aptitude for any skill or job. He decides to join the Army. Skippy takes to Basic Training in usual form. Also, the family continues to treat Steven gently.
- Alex is irritated when his friend Doug starts spending more time with his new girlfriend, and is stunned at their sudden engagement, even refusing to attend the wedding. Ultimately, Alex has to decide what the friendship means to him.
- Alex wants to come along visiting Grandma because she lives close to Lisa Tobin; Jennifer wants to come for the cable TV. Elyse makes Steven first drop by for a 'reunion' with another couple from their Lamaze group who had twins, and gets more visitors with, to the others' regret - or without, to their own regret - crying babies. Mallory stays home to work on a paper on the Louisiana Purchase (not about shopping, to her disappointment). Alex gives her permission to consult his 'archives' in the basement, but the trunk is too heavy, so Skippy comes down to help, but accidentally lets the door lock - so they're trapped (her version) or joined (his version) together all night. They finally come closer together, realizing they are both (birdbrain) outsiders.
- Jennifer is starting to see Josh, whose older brother Jeff used to date Mallory. Mallory remembers all the hurt feelings from when Jeff dumped her, and she urges Jennifer to stop seeing Josh.
- Jennifer has an admirer, Simon, who carries her books and buys her gifts. He likes Jennifer, but she likes Roger - who does not notice her - rather than nerdy Simon. She agrees to go with Simon to a school dance, just to be near Roger.
- Elyse and Steven host a Lamaze class at their home. One woman who attends is not married and Alex becomes involved in helping her at the classes.
- Father and son clash when Steven demands that Alex not accompany his new girlfriend to an elitist, restricted country club.
- A former neighbor, Evelyn, visits the Keatons. Her daughter was Mallory's friend, but recently committed suicide. Evelyn begins to behave as if Mallory is her own daughter. Steven finds a box of magic items and tries all the tricks with the family.
- With their parents out for the night, Alex and Mallory argue over who has to stay to watch Jennifer, leading Alex to take her to a poker game with his friends. But after Jennifer quietly takes off, Alex panics.
- With Alex looking for a job, his friend Paul recommends him to join his financial firm. Alex is offered the position, but finds out that Paul has been fired, and his new job is as his replacement. Alex feels conflicted about the situation.
- The Keaton parents have high hopes for the weekend, one of their last chances before the baby is born to spend some quality time alone with the same-gender kids, and prepare trips through memory lane. Alex politely pretends some interest in Steven's souvenir football, but eagerly throws a chess game in a minute as an excuse to run off to a potential girlfriend; even Skippy, now welcome, just wants a ride to the library from Steven, with no time for any other activities. The girls blatantly ignore Elyse's huge photo album and run off from their secluded cabin retreat to find some fun. But when Elyse calls home out of loneliness, she and Steven both pretend to be having a swell time.
- Skippy joins the Keatons in sharing stories about Alex with Ellen, recalling how he confronted Mallory about her love life, rented out the house while his parents were away, and went to a bar in West Virginia for his 18th birthday.
- Steven's work has approved Elyse for remodeling the lobby of the WKS building. Also, they want a contest for sculptures submitted by local artists and will pick a winner. Against Steven's wishes, Nick is included. He has great ideas.
- Skippy finds out he is adopted, and decides to meet his birth mother.
- Alex takes a job as a bank intern, but when he finds out his boss is a woman, he has a difficult time taking her seriously, and all their attempts to create a workable professional relationship seem to make the situation worse.
- Mallory gets a job as an advice columnist. With the first issue, she includes her home address and phone number. She gets constant calls and visits from readers, exhausting her family - and finds out her advice has not always been helpful.
- Mallory has a crush on Jeff, her French tutor, but his shyness prompts him to go to Alex for advice on asking her out. Alex's advice revolves around Jeff imitating his own personality - which, understandably, doesn't excite Mallory at all.
- Alex pretends to be a feminist to impress a girl he likes.
- It's Thanksgiving at the Keatons', but the turkey dinner might have to wait when Steven and Elyse head to an anti-nuclear weapons rally and get arrested - infuriating the kids as well as Elyse's parents.
- One of Mallory's friends finds out that she is pregnant, and seeks advice and support from Elyse and Mallory as she struggles to tell her mother.
- Mallory's boyfriend Jeff returns to Columbus and confesses to Alex he hates Princeton and is willing to do anything to get out of it--even ask Mallory to go steady with him.
- 1982–198925mTV-PG7.0 (100)TV EpisodeAlex's girlfriend Lauren is attending a conference for a few weeks, and he is conducting an economics class at Leland College to finish his degree. A music student in the class needs tutoring, and she and Alex find a mutual attraction.
- Steven & Elyse play mediator between a friend and his ex-wife. Steven & Elyse argue each others sides and begin their own arguments. The mediation does not work, but Steven & Elyse realize they need to always keep their marriage fresh.
- An internship opens at the station where Steven works. He thinks Mallory should take the job, but she is not thrilled about the idea. She avoids her father so he will not keep asking, but eventually takes the position, with less than ideal results. The Keatons try to solve a cereal contest to win a $5,000 prize.
- Andy has to make a time capsule for a school project, and everyone contributes something unique to the box. As items go in the box, the family reminisces about the item and their lives at those times.
- Andy is disappointed when Alex keeps missing their together time because he is with Lauren. Alex apologizes by taking Andy to a carnival, but also takes Lauren. The day does not go as planned. Alex and Andy talk, and things are worked out.
- When a snowstorm ruins their Christmas skiing plans, the Keatons are stuck at home reminiscing about the circumstances in which each of the kids was born.
- The Keatons try to persuade friend Gus and his family not to move, despite neighbors who object to a black family moving in. But when their house is vandalized, it's hard to convince them to stay, as the Keatons help to clean the house.
- When the pitcher drops out of Jennifer's softball team, Jennifer asks Arlene to be on the team. Arlene is not a sports person, and is unaware that she is only needed to fill the team with another player so as to not forfeit.
- Alex and fellow Leland student James Jarrett start up a joint tutoring business. Judging by the IQ of prospective tutees like William, who even needs to be told to go home, a fabulous market, but when both have an 'unprofessional' eye on Robin Green, the rivalry wrecks their cooperation as feared, apparently irreparably... Meanwhile Mallory wines dad has chosen a practical new car with more room for the baby but ugly 'like a fridge on wheels' and he bores everyone to tears with his reading the manual aloud.
- Nick applies for the janitor position at Mallory's sorority, and becomes an honorary sorority member.
- A college friend of Steven & Elyse's visits. Matt wants to restart their college magazine. Steven agrees. As the staff talks about holding demonstrations and getting arrested, he realizes he has changed from the radical years of college.
- When Elyse has a convention speech in 'fascinating east coast resort' Atlantic City, she didn't plan to waste any time and money gambling, but Alex is dying to get his mathematical system tested and Steven makes sure they stay in a casino and play a few hands of blackjack. His luck runs out very soon, but Elyse has enough to win big with Alex's system. Of course casino lucks never lasts, yet when losing she's already hooked. When Elyse returns from her solo last run, she surprises the family with both results and conclusions.
- Elyse, Mallory and Jennifer are upset after Alex orders for them at a restaurant, arguing that he was being chauvinistic. Alex and Steven disagree, so the women recall all the times they tried to be overly manly and the disastrous results.
- Alex and Ellen have been together for six months. The family decides to tell Ellen some of the things Alex has done in his life before she met him.
- At Elyse's suggestion, Steven's black coworker Gus and his family move in across the street, but are met with resistance. After their family is threatened, the Keatons try to reason with neighbors and have Gus stay.
- For their 20th anniversary, Steven wants a small gathering, but Elyse wants a big party. Everything goes wrong, from the venue and guest list to leaks in the roof, leading to constant arguing - with the kids worrying how things might end.
- After burglars rob their house, Steven and Elyse try to reconcile their pacifism with their safety concerns as they invest in a gun to protect their home.
- Alex volunteers to be a big brother to a Vietnamese refugee, but then lets the boy down when his schedule becomes too demanding, adding to concerns that he's trying to turn the boy into a copy of himself.
- Seeing that Mallory is a wreck after her break-up with Rick and six failed dates, Alex decides to match her with a fellow Leland student. His theoretically ideal choice is Roger Sloate, an engineering major. Alas, Alex's chaperoning isn't rewarded - his dumb sister dumps Roger like the rest, but accepts a last double date, where Roger spontaneously falls for Alex's date Tracy. Something smart Alex can't understand is that love is irrational chemistry. Dad Steven is dead-set against 'dehumanizing' computer games, but after a computer is rented for the kids' homework, he gets hooked worse himself, and Elyse too.
- The 10-year-old papergirl has a crush on Alex, and he cannot escape her. Jennifer and Simon work together at a fast food place for a school project on teens in the workplace, but he's so smitten by Jennifer that he can't focus on work.
- Elyse gets caught up in work projects, to the point of working a lot of overtime. This leaves little time for her family, where everyone is confused as to who does what duties and keeping the house moving. Elyse realizes something has to give.
- Elyse's childhood neighbor Roger visits for their high school reunion. He was considered a nerd as a teen, but is now a multimillionaire. He hopes to recreate some of their best times, but Elyse isn't sure their past can be relived.
- Mallory enters herself and Elyse in a Mother/Daughter Modeling contest but ends up regretting it when they win and Elyse steals her thunder.
- After their recollections give Andy the impression that everyone in the family constantly argues, they tell him about occasions when they offered each other support and comfort, strengthening their relationships.
- Everybody else goes baby-crazy all the time, even Alex - who can see the next Richard Nixon and Mickey Mantle rolled into one bassinet. Losing her familiar place in the center of family pictures and seemingly being routinely ignored makes Jen decide she hates her new 'rival' Andy and turns childish again, which Alex correctly calls regressive behavior. The kid has healthy lungs, and a vocal volume which keeps everybody awake, desperately trying to sing him to sleep. An attempt to make Jen the center of family attention again is professionally cried apart by Andy and baby-mania.
- While helping Andy make his time capsule for school, Nick, Alex and Skippy recall pivotal moments from their past - especially their romantic endeavors.
- 1982–198930mTV-PG6.7 (98)TV EpisodeMallory is ready to buy a car from Nick's father, but she needs a co-signer on the loan. Steven refuses to do it because Mallory wants to drive on a cross-country trip with Nick, so he turns to Nick's father for support in his decision.
- Lauren is upset over the lack of communication and emotional sharing between herself and Alex. She suggests that they see a therapist to discover the cause of their problem.
- Jennifer finds herself at the mercy of peer pressure when she is teased for being friends with a boy. But having invited both boys and girls to her birthday party, she has to decide how to deal with the problem.
- Elyse tries to revive her collegiate days as a folk singer, but her initial outing leaves her humiliated and filled with self-doubt. Alex and Steven are traumatized by Mallory's driving lessons.
- Elyse gets a new job at an architectural firm and experiences challenges at work and at home.
- Mallory finds a box of Steven and Elyse's love letters, which Andy copies to send to a girl at school. Stressed over her thesis, Lauren decides to abandon it and focus on Alex. Flattered at first, he soon finds both of them unhappy.
- Jennifer talks Alex into letting her band audition for Leland College's dance. When the band turns out to be good, Alex sees it as a money-making proposition, and takes over as the band's manager, causing problems.
- Another row between Alex and Jen over the phone and another about Mallory abusing Alex's shirt make Steven and Elyse realize they desperately need more quality time. A restaurant dinner fails, neither can stop thinking about Andy and babies in general, she even burps the waiter...
- Nick is ecstatic when one of his artworks sells for $200. Alex sees a moneymaking venture, and convinces Nick to mass produce his "one of a kind" artwork. As Nick works, he loses his interest in art because it is no longer fun.
- Alex is placed in charge of his high school's class souvenirs for graduation. He wants to turn it into a millionaire making project. Elyse is upset when her not-yet-divorced mother starts enjoying the prospect of being single.
- Steven and Elyse clash when her busy schedule and numerous commitments keep them from spending any time together.
- Cousin June visits the Keatons, on holiday from her university studies in London. Memories bubble up when she starts talking about dating boys and a trip to Florence, mostly embarrassing moments for Keatons (from previous episodes), such as weird dates and teachers or the 'home hotel' Alex ran with Skippy and the girls...
- The local theater is producing a radical, largely autobiographical play that Steven wrote in the 1960s. He wants Elyse to play the lead, as she did originally, but becomes consumed by jealousy of her leading man.
- Mallory has a new passion - massage. Also, Elyse finds out the first building she designed is slated to be torn down and the space used for a mall. Elyse and the family fight city hall to keep the building from being destroyed.
- Jennifer is in the hospital to have her tonsils taken out and is worried she will not survive. Awaiting the surgery, she writes down her thoughts and memories of her family.
- Elyse tries to help her friend Suzanne through a rough patch by hiring her on as her assistant, but comes to regret it when Suzanne forgets her place and takes over Elyse's business.
- 1982–198930mTV-PG4.9 (122)TV EpisodeJennifer's science class is studying ecology, and saving the environment becomes an obsession for her. She wants to change everything the family does, but gets depressed about the future. Steven and Elyse have her talk to a counselor.