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1-13 of 13
- Vic and Bob celebrate Christmas with a tree decorated with sponges and jump leads from the filling station but disaster strikes when the bobble hat Bob has bought as a present for his aggressive son Erik catches fire. With all the shops shut Vic and Bob, along with Julie, Beef and Bosh, plan to steal an identical hat from singer Phil Collins, which he is seen wearing on the Internet. They infiltrate his house through the sewers, where they meet Santa Claus, who tells them about his marital problems. Having stolen the hat they lose it though fortunately it is retrieved by Santa, who announces that he is retiring and nominates Beef as his successor.
- Bob's toupee is stolen as he prepares to enter toupee wearer of the year.
- Vic steals some out of date Botox and tattoo equipment from Sharon Osborne, giving Julie a bizarre make-over and inking a picture of 'Jeremy Clakson' on Bosh's back. Beef needs to hide when the Bradford Butcher, with whose wife he had sex, comes looking for him whilst Bob's birthday present for Erik's equally morose girlfriend Rachel does not hit the spot. However the Bradford Butcher is not only forgiving but also delivers his own surprise.
- Julie has baked a prize pork pie, which she leaves in the care of Vic and Bob.
- Vic and Bob help Bosh show his probation officer that he is a decent member of society.
- It's Bob's birthday and Vic has organized a party though he has invited Bob's ex-wife, Norwegian trawler woman Erika, who hates Bob and wants to kill him. To keep him safe Vic persuades Bob to pretend to be dead and the group have a wake, in which Erika happily joins. However she sees through Bob's deception and plans to kill him after she has been upstairs. Unfortunately she has rather a nasty accident and Bob ends up having the best birthday ever.
- 'Ghost Hunter' magazine is offering the prize of a chimpanzee to anybody who can prove their house is haunted by submitting a photograph of a ghost. Vic decides to enter and holds a séance but Bob discovers a man called Martin, who claims to a spirit only visible to those close to death - which worries Bob as only he and not Vic can see him. However Julie says she knows Martin and takes the snap for the contest. Eventually they learn that they have won third prize - a day with Andy Barker, a man who takes his bicycle to the toilet.
- Julie wants a video made to advertise her bistro so Vic starts to write a script on the back of a moth - which flies off into the kitchen and gets extremely big after eating all Bob's underpants. Beef is brought in to catch it. Meanwhile Vic takes advantage of Erik's striking resemblance to Scandinavian pop star Mags Flahonnamon, to claim a celebrity endorsement for the bistro though the deception fails.
- Bob has a hot date planned, but first he must get rid of the unwanted guests in his house.
- When Julie holds a dance marathon at her bistro Bob, Vic and Beef all agree to take part - until they hear that the fearsome Butcher brothers are also competing. Not wishing to be humiliated Vic and Beef pretend to have broken their legs and after Bosh has accidentally injured Bob whilst trying to catch a rat the Butchers seem certain to win. However, after Erik has shown them a clip on the Internet revealing how Bruce Forsyth keeps dancing Vic and Beef rise to the occasion and win.
- Vic's old flame Mary gets in touch and arranges to meet him at Julie's bistro so Julie and Bob school him in what he should say. Mary arrives at the bistro early but has to go to Antwerp on business so Julie impersonates her, Vic actually confiding in the supposed Mary his love for the real Julie. This is just as well because when Mary does turn up she prefers Beef.
- Bob arranges for his Norwegian son Erik to go on his first blind date at Julie's recently-opened bistro. Vic, Bob and Beef are to provide the music for the occasion but quarrel over a name for their band and split up. Come the evening Erik literally has nothing to wear and turns up at the bistro in the nude but his girlfriend is nonetheless impressed whilst Vic and Bob bury their differences and, along with Beef, present a musical evening.
- Vic and Bob are amazed to get a letter from the White House to say that, as a typical English family, they will receive a visit from Michelle Obama - after she has had a cream tea at Julie's bistro. When the bistro is closed by a health inspector drastic action is required to reopen it and, when the First Lady finally appears, she is not - due to budget cuts - what people expected. At the same time a magic turban forces the wearer to always tell the truth.