A Day at the Races (1937)

Chico Marx: Tony

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Tony offers Dr. Hackenbush a hint book] 

  Tony : One dollar and you'll remember me all your life.

  Dr. Hackenbush : That's the most nauseating proposition I ever had.

• Flo : Oh, what is the meaning of this? Oh, why you little pest. Well!

  Dr. Hackenbush : Say, what's the matter with you mugs?. Haven't you got any gallantry at all?

  Tony : She's in with Whitmore. She's trying to frame you.

  Dr. Hackenbush : I wouldn't mind framing her. A prettier picture, I've never seen.

  Flo : Thank you.

  Dr. Hackenbush : Thank yo.

  Tony : Hey Doc! Doc, I'm tell you a secret - she's out to get you.

  Flo : Why, I've never been so insulted in my life.

  Dr. Hackenbush : Well, it's early yet.

• [Talking about Stuffy] 

  Tony : I think he's a ubangi.

  Dr. Hackenbush : Well, I'll get a hammer and "ubangi" that right off.

• Tony : Getta your tootsie-frootsie ice cream!

• Tony : Hey doc, can you see us?

  Dr. Hackenbush : If I can't there's something wrong with my glasses.

• [Stuffy blows a balloon during a medical exam] 

  Dr. Hackenbush : If that's his Adam's-apple, he's got yellow fever.

  Tony : He's got in-grown balloons.

• Tony : Have you got a woman in here?

  Dr. Hackenbush : If I haven't, I've wasted 30 minutes of valuable time!

  Tony : Well, you better get her out of here! This is the last time I'm going to tell you.

  Dr. Hackenbush : The last time? Can I depend on that?

• Tony : Well, that's-a fine. Now we owe the Sheriff a hundred and twenty dollars and a sock.

• Dr. Hackenbush : [examining Stuffy with an auriscope]  I haven't seen anything like this in years. The last time I saw a head like that was in a bottle of formaldehyde.

  Tony : Told you he was sick.

  Dr. Hackenbush : [pointing to Stuffy's neck]  That's all pure desecration along there. He's got about a 15% metabolism, with an overactive thyroid and a glandular affectation of about 3%.

  Tony : That's bad.

  Dr. Hackenbush : With a 1% mentality.

  [Stuffy grins] 

  Dr. Hackenbush : He's what we designate as the crummy moronic type. All in all, this is the most gruesome looking piece of blubber I've ever peered at.

  Tony : Hey doc. Hey doc!

  Dr. Hackenbush : Huh?

  Tony : You gotta the looking glass turned around, you're looking at yourself.

• Dr. Hackenbush : Here's a ten-dollar bill and shoot the change, will you?

  Tony : I got-a no change. I'll have to give you nine more books.

• [Stuffy is getting an examination] 

  Dr. Hackenbush : Say "ah!"

  [Stuffy opens his mouth, but says nothing] 

  Dr. Hackenbush : Louder!

  [Stuffy does the same thing] 

  Dr. Hackenbush : Louder!

  [Stuffy does the same thing. Dr. Hackenbush starts to leave] 

  Tony : What are you doing?

  Dr. Hackenbush : I'm going to get my ears checked. I'm deaf.

  Tony : You're not deaf. It's just him.

• [referring to Ms. Marlowe] 

  Dr. Hackenbush : You've got it all wrong. This is my aunt. She's come to talk over some old family matters.

  Tony : I wish I had an aunt look like that.

  Dr. Hackenbush : Well, take it up with your uncle.

• [Tony is selling Hackenbush one book after another at the race track] 

  Tony : Well, justa by accident I think I gotta one right here.

  Dr. Hackenbush : A lotta accidents around here for a quiet neighborhood.

• Tony : [to Stuffy]  Morgan fired you, huh? He wanted you to throw the race?

  Gil : Wanted Stuffy to be crooked, eh?

  Tony : Yeah, you know he's honest!

  [Stuffy's hand starts to creep into ice cream cart - Tony slams the lid of his down onto it] 

  Tony : He's honest, but you gotta watch him a little.

• Whitmore : [In walk Tony and Stuffy, disguised as Doctors]  Dr. Hackenbush, tell me, who sent for these men?

  Dr. Hackenbush : You don't have to send for them. You just rub a lamp and they appear.

  Tony : My name is Steinberg.

  [Goes to shake Dr. Steinberg's hand] 

  Dr. Hackenbush : Dr. Steinberg, by a strange coincidence, this is another Dr. Steinberg. May I take my great friend and introduce my colleagues and good friends, another Dr. Steinberg. This is a Dr. Steinberg, Dr. Steinberg. Dr. Steinberg. And a Mrs. Steinberg. And Doctor, I'd like you to meet another Dr. Steinberg. And, eh, that's a, that's a Steinberg junior.

• Tony : [disgused as an ice cream vendor]  You wanna something hot?

  Dr. Hackenbush : Not now, I just ate. Besides I don't like hot ice cream.

• Tony : We come to hang the paper.

  Dr. Hackenbush : How about hanging yourselves?

• Tony : Hey, boss! C'mere! Sun-Up is the worst horse on the track!

  Dr. Hackenbush : I notice he wins all the time.

  Tony : Aw, just because he comes in first.

  Dr. Hackenbush : Well, I don't want 'em any better than first.

• Tony : Excuse, please. We're sure getting a lot of new customers since that Doctor Hac-ken-a-pus is coming.

  Mrs. Upjohn : Did you say Hackenbush?

  Tony : Yes, ma'am.

  Mrs. Upjohn : I wonder if that could be the same one! Where's he come from?

  Tony : Where's your Hac-ken-a-pus come from?

  Mrs. Upjohn : Palmville, Florida.

  Tony : That's the one!

• Judy : Who's Doctor Hackenbush?

  Tony : I don't know. But if she wants a Hac-ken-a-bush, she's gonna get a Hac-ken-a-pus.

• Tony : [Talking to Stuffy]  You're hungry, eh? You want-a some ice cream? You want-a nice big steak? With spinach? All right, all right, no spinach. No spinach. Apple-a pie? And a-beautiful nurses? Oh, baby, come on you a-gonna get a nurse. Oh my, you gonna get-a plenty to eat.

• Tony : Ah, signorina, gentile, e bella. Oh, baby, you look-a good to me.

  Flo : Oh, oh-oh, stop it.

  Dr. Hackenbush : Hey, wait a minute. I thought you came here to see me?

  Tony : Well, I can see you from here.

  Flo : Oh, oh, get up, you... oh, oh...