Meet John Doe (1941)

Gary Cooper: 'Long John' Willoughby

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Quotes 

• Long John Willoughby : I'm gonna talk about us - the average guys, the John Does. If anybody should ask you what the average John Doe is like, you couldn't tell him because he's a million and one things. He's Mr. Big and Mr. Small, he's simple and he's wise, he's inherently honest but he's got a streak of larceny in his heart. He seldom walks up to a public telephone without shovin' his finger into the slot to see if somebody left a nickel there. He's the man the ads are written for. He's the fella everybody sells things to. He's Joe Doakes, the world's greatest stooge and the world's greatest strength. Yes sir, yes sir, we're a great family, the John Does. We are the meek who are supposed to inherit the earth. You'll find us everywhere. We raise the crops, we dig the mines, work the factories, keep the books, fly the planes and drive the buses, and when the cop yells, 'Stand back there you,' he means us - the John Does. We've existed since time began. We built the pyramids. We saw Christ crucified, pulled the oars for Roman emperors, sailed the boats for Columbus, retreated from Moscow with Napoleon, and froze with Washington at Valley Forge. Yes sir, we've been in there dodging left hooks since before History began to walk. In our struggle for freedom, we've hit the canvas many a time, but we always bounced back because we're the people - and we're tough.

• Long John Willoughby : Hey, stop worryin', Colonel, fifty bucks ain't gonna ruin me.

  The Colonel : I've seen plenty of fellas start out with fifty bucks and wind up with a *bank* account!

  Beany : Hey, what's wrong with a bank account, anyway?

  The Colonel : And let me tell you, Long John, when you become a guy with a bank account, they gotcha! Yes sir, they gotcha!

  Beany : Who's got him?

  The Colonel : The helots!

• Long John Willoughby : [addressing the public]  Why can't that spirit, that warm Christmas spirit, last all year long?

• Long John Willoughby : Well, that certainly is a new low. I guess I've seen everything now. You sit there with your big cigars and think of deliberately killing an idea that has made millions of people a little bit happier. An idea that has brought thousands of them here from all over the country. By bus and by freight and jalopies and on foot, so they can pass on to each other their own simple, little experiences. Look, I'm just a mug and I know it, but I'm beginning to understand a lot of things. Why, your type's as old as history! If you can't lay your dirty fingers on a decent idea and twist it and squeeze it and stuff it into your own pocket, you slap it down! Like dogs, if you can't eat something, you bury it! Why, this is the one worthwhile thing that's come along! People are finally finding out that the guy next door isn't a bad egg. That's simple, isn't it? And yet a thing like that has got a chance of spreading till it touches every last doggone human being in the world - and you talk about killing it! Well, when this fire dies down what's going to be left? More misery, more hunger and more hate! And what's to prevent that from starting all over again? Nobody knows the answer to that one, and certainly not you, with those slimy, bollixed up theories you've got. The John Doe idea may be the answer, though, it may be the one thing capable of saving this cockeyed world yet you sit back there on your fat hulks and tell me you'll kill it if you can't use it! Well, you go ahead and try - you couldn't do it in a million years with all your radio stations, and all your power, because it's bigger than whether I'm a fake, it's bigger than your ambition, and it's bigger than all the bracelets and fur coats in the world!

• [Discussing the contract with John Doe] 

  Henry Connel : On December 26th, you get one railroad ticket... out of town. And the Bulletin agrees to pay to have your arm fixed. That's what you want, isn't it?

  Long John Willoughby : Yeah, but, it's gotta be by "Bonesetter" Brown.

• Long John Willoughby : [gets carried away spanking his own knees as he describes his dream to Ann] 

  Long John Willoughby : So I came down and I whacked you a good one, see? Then he whacked you, and I whacked you another one, and we both started whackin' you like...

  Long John Willoughby : [stops abruptly when he realizes Beany is standing right behind him] 

  Beany : Well if you're through whackin' her, c'mon let's get goin'.