The Seven Year Itch (1955)
Marilyn Monroe: The Girl
Photos
Quotes
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The Girl : When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the icebox!
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The Girl : You and your imagination! You think every girl's a dope. You think a girl goes to a party and there's some guy, a great big lunk in a fancy striped vest, strutting around like a tiger giving you that I'm-so-handsome-you-can't-resist-me look. And for this she's supposed to fall flat on her face. Well, she doesn't fall on her face. But there's another guy in the room, way over in the corner. Maybe he's kind of nervous and shy and perspiring a little. First, you look past him. But then you sort of sense that he's gentle and kind and worried. That he'll be tender with you. Nice and sweet. That's what's *really* exciting.
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The Girl : Hi. It's me, don't you remember? The tomato from upstairs.
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Richard Sherman : There's gin and vermouth. That's a martini.
The Girl : Oh, that sounds cool! I think I'll have a glass of that. A big tall one!
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The Girl : Hey, did you ever try dunking a potato chip in champagne? It's real crazy!
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The Girl : I think it's just elegant to have an imagination. I just have no imagination at all. I have lots of other things, but I have no imagination.
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Richard Sherman : Isn't the Kaufman place air conditioned?
The Girl : Gee, no! It's just terrible up there. That's why I bought the electric fan. Ohh, this feels just elegant! I'm just not made for the heat. This is my first summer in New York and it's practically killing me. You know what I tried yesterday? I tried to sleep in the bathtub. Just lying there up to my neck in cold water.
Richard Sherman : That sounds like a good idea.
The Girl : But there was something wrong with the faucet. It kept dripping. It was keeping me awake. So you know what I did? I pushed my big toe up the faucet.
Richard Sherman : I guess that's what they call American know-how.
The Girl : The only thing was, my toe got stuck and I couldn't get it back out again.
Richard Sherman : You couldn't?
The Girl : No, but thank goodness there was a phone in the bathroom, so I was able to call the plumber.
Richard Sherman : You called the plumber?
The Girl : Oh, sure. He was very nice, even though it was Sunday, I explained the situation to him and he rushed right over.
Richard Sherman : Did everything come out all right?
The Girl : Oh, sure! But it was sort of embarrassing.
Richard Sherman : Yeah, I can see how it might have been.
The Girl : Honestly, I almost died. There I was with a perfectly strange plumber and no polish on my toenails.
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The Girl : I had onions at lunch. I had garlic dressing at dinner. But he'll never know, because I stay kissing sweet, the new Dazzledent way.
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The Girl : [in Richard's fantasy] It shakes me! It quakes me! It makes me feel goose-pimply all over!
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The Girl : I think it's wonderful that you're married. I think it's just elegant.
Richard Sherman : You do?
The Girl : Of course. I mean, I wouldn't be lying on the floor in the middle of the night in some man's apartment drinking champagne if he wasn't married.
Richard Sherman : That's an interesting line of reasoning.
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The Girl : You're married. I KNEW it! You LOOK married.
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The Girl : Maybe if I took the little fan, put it in the icebox, then left the icebox door open, then left the bedroom door open, and soak the sheets and pillowcase in ice water... no, that's too icky!
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The Girl : I just hope it's not some priceless antique or something.
Richard Sherman : Forget it. Just early Sears, Roebuck.
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The Girl : Do you have any kids?
Richard Sherman : No. None. No kids. Well, just one. Little one. Hardly counts.
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Richard Sherman : I'm in big trouble. I know girls like this! They just can't keep their big mouths shut! This is gonna be *all* over New York. I bet, right this minute, she's telling somebody about it... yaddida yaddida yaddida yaddida...
The Girl : [in Richard's imagination, The Girl, sitting in a bubble bath, while the Plumber is working on her pipes] So, he lured me down in his apartment. He made me sit on his piano bench. Then he made me play "Chopsticks"! Then suddenly he turned on me. His eyes bulging. He was frothing at the mouth - just like the Creature from the Black Lagoon!
Richard Sherman : I knew it. I knew it! That's how these stories get started. Big blabbermouth.
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The Girl : [in Richard's fantasy] Rachmaninoff.
Richard Sherman : The Second Piano Concerto.
The Girl : It isn't fair.
Richard Sherman : Not fair? Why?
The Girl : Every time I hear it, I go to pieces.
Richard Sherman : Oh?
The Girl : May I sit next to you?
Richard Sherman : Please do.
The Girl : It shakes me, it quakes me. It makes me feel goose-pimply all over. I don't know where I am, or who I am, or what I'm doing. Don't stop, don't stop! Don't ever stop!
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The Girl : A stairway to nowhere! I think that's just elegant.
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The Girl : You sure have strong thumbs!
Richard Sherman : I used to play a lot of badminton.
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Richard Sherman : Why did they practically ask you to leave?
The Girl : It was so silly. I posed for this picture and when it was published in "U.S. Camera", they got all upset.
Richard Sherman : Well, what was the matter with the picture?
The Girl : I was - it was one of these - 'artistic' pictures.
Richard Sherman : Oh.
[giggles]
The Girl : It was on a beach with some driftwood. It got Honorable Mention.
Richard Sherman : Honorable Mention? In "U.S. Camera"? Well.
The Girl : It was called 'Textures', because you could see three different kinds of texture: the driftwood, the sand and me. I got $25 dollars an hour, and it took hours and hours. You'd be surprised!
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The Girl : That's what's wonderful about a married man. No matter what, he can't ask you to marry him. He's married already. Right?
Richard Sherman : Right... You certainly don't have to worry about me. Am I ever a married man! I'm the most married man you'll ever know. And I promise... I will never ask you to marry me, come what may.
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The Girl : Oo! Do you feel the breeze from the subway? Isn't it delicious!
Richard Sherman : It sort of cools the ankles, doesn't it?
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The Girl : [as she leaves his apartment] Good night... I think you're very nice.
Richard Sherman : [now alone in his apartment, talking to himself] "Nice"! You're not nice. You're crazy, that's what you are. You're running amok. Helen's gone for one day and you're running amok. Smoking, drinking, picking up girls, playing "Chopsticks." You're not gonna' live through this summer. Not like this, you're not.
Richard Sherman : [looking at himself in a mirror] Look at those bloodshot eyes. Look at that face, ravaged, dissipated, evil. One of these mornings you're gonna' look in the mirror and that's all, brother. "The Portrait of Dorian Gray."
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Richard Sherman : Oh, say!
[admiring The Girl's tight dress]
The Girl : I figured it just isn't right to drink champagne in matador pants. Would you mind fastening my straps in the back?
Richard Sherman : Oh, sure. Sure.
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Richard Sherman : It seems to be stuck.
The Girl : That's silly. Just give it a good yank!
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Richard Sherman : Well, how about some music?
The Girl : Fine.
Richard Sherman : Let's see. Let's see what we've got here. Debussy, Ravel, Stravinsky. Hey, how about this one? Rachmaninoff, the "Second Piano Concerto." You look to me like a big Rachmaninoff girl.
The Girl : I do? That's funny, because I don't know anything about music.
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Richard Sherman : What would you like to drink? You do drink, don't you?
The Girl : Oh, sure! I drink like a fish.
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Richard Sherman : [after a clumsy attempt to embrace her, with both falling to the floor] I'm terribly sorry. Nothing like this ever happened to me before in all my life.
The Girl : Honest? It happens to me all the time.
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The Girl : This is what they call classical music, isn't it?
Richard Sherman : Yes.
The Girl : I could tell, because there's no vocal.
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The Girl : At the club we had this girl, she smoked nothing but cigars. Personally, I think she only did it to make herself look older.
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Richard Sherman : You're not leaving yet, are you? How about some more champagne?
The Girl : Love some!
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The Girl : I got the biggest thing for Eddie Fisher.
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Richard Sherman : I'm 39. Or, I will be in August. At the moment I'm still only 38.
The Girl : Thirty-eight? I was 22, day before yesterday. I didn't do anything about it though. I didn't even tell anyone. Oh, I did do one thing. I bought myself a bottle of champagne. I thought I'd just sit up there and drink it all by myself.
Richard Sherman : That sounds absolutely sad.
The Girl : Oh, no! It would've been just elegant, lying there in a bath, drinking champagne. But I couldn't get the bottle open.
Richard Sherman : You couldn't? There's nothing to it. It's just a trick.
The Girl : You think you could get it open?
Richard Sherman : I'm pretty sure I could.
The Girl : I've got a wonderful idea. Why don't I go upstairs and get it. It's in the icebox with the potato chips and my underwear.
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The Girl : Hey, you've got air conditioning! How does it work? Put it on.
Richard Sherman : Sure! I got air conditioning in every room.
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The Girl : His name is Sherman, Richard Sherman.
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The Girl : I'll bet it was 95 in the bedroom last night. Like an oven!
Richard Sherman : Poor kid, it's awful.
The Girl : Good night.
Richard Sherman : Of course, if you wanted to drop by my place for a few minutes just to cool off before you face that Turkish bath up there.
The Girl : Well.
Richard Sherman : I left the air conditioning on full blast. It's cool in there. Probably too cold.
The Girl : Well, maybe just for a few minutes.
Richard Sherman : Sure. To bring the body temperature down a little.
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Richard Sherman : If Helen came in here and found you in the shower, you know what she'd probably think? She'd probably think you were the plumber.
The Girl : A blonde plumber?
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Richard Sherman : I don't think I can stay for breakfast, I'm sorry.
The Girl : Don't ever be sorry.
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Richard Sherman : There you are! A big,tall, martini.
The Girl : Thanks!
Richard Sherman : You're welcome.
The Girl : [drinks it, and coughs] Very good. Maybe it needs a little more sugar.
Richard Sherman : Sugar? No, no. I would strongly advise against putting sugar in a martini.
The Girl : You would? Why?
Richard Sherman : Well, you just have to take my word for it. No sugar in a martini, ever.
The Girl : That's funny. Back home, they put sugar in martinis a lot.
Richard Sherman : Back home? Where?
The Girl : Denver, Colorado.
Richard Sherman : Oh.
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The Girl : Ba ba ba ba ba ba! Ba ba ba ba ba ba! Ba ba ba ba ba ba! Ba!
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The Girl : Why did you stop?
Richard Sherman : You know why. Because now I'm going to take you in my arms and kiss you, very quickly, and very hard.
