The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968)
Howard Morris: Ernest T. Bass, George - the TV Repairman, Leonard Blush, Radio Announcer
Photos
Quotes
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Ernest T. Bass : I'm a little mean, but I make up for it by bein' real healthy. Say you'll be mine. Say you'll be my beloved!
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Ramona 'Romeena' Ankrum : It rained last week, ya know?
Ernest T. Bass : Yeah... yeah... I was right there in it.
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Ernest T. Bass : If a duck stood still you could catch him by the bill.
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[Andy and Barney are at the Darlings when a rock comes through the window]
Barney Fife : What was that!
Andy Taylor : I think Ernest T. Bass is paying us another visit.
Briscoe Darling : Ernest T. Bass! You're a low down skunk!
[Turns away from the window, then turns back]
Briscoe Darling : Doggone ya!
Andy Taylor : Listen here, Ernest T. Bass! This is Sheriff Taylor! Go on home and leave these people alone! You're keepin' 'em awake!
Ernest T. Bass : Tell 'em to go back to bed! Charlene's the one I want to talk to!
Barney Fife : Listen here, Ernest T. Bass! This is Deputy Fife! I'm armed and if you don't go home, I might just take a shot at you
[another rock come flying through the window]
Barney Fife : Stop that!
[Another rock hits the window]
Briscoe Darling : Sheriff, tell your deputy to be quiet before he gets us all stoned to death!
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Army Doctor : [after telling Ernest T. Bass to say ah and inspecting his mouth] Okay let's have a looks at your ears.
[shines a light in Ernest T.'s ear]
Ernest T. Bass : Aaaahhhhhhh
Army Doctor : No, no.
Ernest T. Bass : Well what do I say for this one?
Army Doctor : Hush.
Ernest T. Bass : Huuuuuuushhhhh
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Andy Taylor : [sees Ernest T. Bass sitting in his chair] Ernest T.! How did you get out of jail?
Ernest T. Bass : Irritatin ain't it?
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Andy Taylor : Try not to talk through your nose so much. You're twangin'.
Ernest T. Bass : I do that on purpose so I can talk whilst I eat.
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Ernest T. Bass : I'm the man for you Charlene, you know it! Now can I come over there and kiss ya on the jaw?
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Ernest T. Bass : I should have a chance to woo and charm her with my ways.
Briscoe Darling : Take a shot at him, sherif, you got a legal right.
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Ernest T. Bass : You should see how they act when Jelsic Sterrum comes home in his uniform. Jelsic, walk with me. Jelsic, dance with me. Jelsic, kiss my mouth.
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Ernest T. Bass : I love you Ms. Crump!
Andy Taylor : [pulls up to Ernest T. in the police car] Ernest T!
Ernest T. Bass : I'm comin sheriff. Ms. Crump, I got to go to the lockup now. See ya tomorrow!
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Ernest T. Bass : Let me make a sentence! No hunt beware open and closed no credit!
Andy Taylor : [frowns]
Ernest T. Bass : No hunt beware open and closed no credit?
Andy Taylor : [frowns and shakes his head a little]
Ernest T. Bass : Hunt!
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Andy Taylor : Now Barney here is a perfect example of a man about town. On the outside he's a tough weather beaten lawman. But on the inside he's a civilized, well sophisticated gentleman.
Ernest T. Bass : [looks at Barney] You can afford to be mighty proud of yourself.
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Ernest T. Bass : [looking through Opie's old school book] Oh I know that word! Cat!
Andy Taylor : Are you sure you didn't know it because there's a picture of a cat there?
Ernest T. Bass : Why, no. Here cover it up with your hand again.
[covers the picture]
Ernest T. Bass : Cat.
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Ernest T. Bass : [looking through Opie's old school book] Oh I know that word! Cat!
Andy Taylor : Are you sure you didn't know it because there's a picture of a cat there?
Ernest T. Bass : Why, no. Here cover it up with your hand again.
[covers the picture]
Ernest T. Bass : Cat.
Opie Taylor : Turn to a page without any pictures in it, pa.
Ernest T. Bass : You have more respect for your elders here, son!
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Ernest T. Bass : I don't chew my cabbage twice. And you ain't heard the last of Ernest T. Bass!
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Ernest T. Bass : No hunt beware open and closed no credit!
