Tom Jones (1963)

Peter Bull: Thwackum

Quotes 

• Square : [Tom's tutors are discussing his education]  You have only taught Tom to laugh at whatever is decent, and virtuous and right.

  Thwackum : I've taught him religion.

  Square : Mr. Thwackum, the word "religion" is as vague and uncertain as any in the English language.

  Thwackum : When I mention religion I mean the Christian religion. Not only the Christian religion, but the Protestant religion, and not only the Protestant religion but the Church of England.

  Square : I fear that Tom is the embodiment of the old truth: that foundlings should be left to the parish.

  Blifil : My dear tutors, I'm afraid that neither of you can touch his bastard's heart.

  Narrator : Neither indeed. But there was another who could...

• Tom Jones : [Mr. Allworthy's recovery means Mr. Thwackum and others will not be receiving their expected inheritance. Apropos of this, Tom drunkenly taunts Mr. Thwackum with a song]  Sing, thick Thwackum, your bounty's flown.

  Thwackum : [Indignant]  You have good reason for your drunkenness, you beggarly bastard. He provided well enough for you.

  Tom Jones : Do you think any such consideration could weigh with me? Damn you, Thwackum!

  Thwackum : How dare you, sir!

  Tom Jones : And damn me if I don't open another bottle.

  [Tom laughs mockingly at Mr. Thwackum] 

  Tom Jones : I shall sing you a ballad which I have entitled "Sing, Thick Thwackum, Thy Bounty has Flown."

  Tom Jones : [Drunkenly proceeds to taunt Mr. Thwackum with a mocking song]  Sing, Thick Thwackum, thy bounty has flown. You lost all the money you thought that you'd own.

  Blifil : [Angrily]  Mr. Jones! This house is in mourning on account of the death of my dear mother.

  Tom Jones : Forgive me! The joy of Mr. Allworthy's recovery...

  Blifil : [Cutting him off]  I had the misfortune to know who my parents were. Consequently, I'm grieved by their loss.

  Tom Jones : You rascal! You dare to insult me?

• Thwackum : That filthy slut.

• Thwackum : By "religion" I mean the Christian religion. Not only that, but the Protestant religion. And not only that, but the Church of England.

• Thwackum : Sir, it is no slight matter for a man of my character to be buffeted by a boy just for trying to bring a wanton harlot to justice!