Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number! (1966)

Bob Hope: Thomas J. 'Tom' Meade

Photos 

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Quotes 

• [Lily spots lipstick on Tom's cheek] 

  Lily : What's this?

  Tom Meade : I hope it's blood.

  Lily : If your wife sees it, it will be.

• Tom Meade : What kind of mood was Martha in when she got home?

  Lily : She was so mad, I couldn't tell.

  Tom Meade : Well, at least she still loves me enough to hate me.

• [Didi is worried about living along in Meade's rustic cabin] 

  Didi : What if something goes wrong?

  Tom Meade : Well, everything's practically new; except the water pipes hum a little, but they're on key.

• Lily : How do you want your eggs? Poached, fried or raw?

  Tom Meade : Scrambled - like your head.

• Tom Meade : [to DiDi]  You're that dame - the biggest thing in bathtubs since rings.

• Tom Meade : [to DiDi in his bathtub]  Why don't you slip into something less comfortable?

• Lily : [Trying to lift DiDi out of bathtub]  You take the safe half.

  Tom Meade : I don't think she has a safe half.

• Tom Meade : [after Didi has angrily hurled several objects at him]  Oh, those Europeans... Why do they have to talk with their hands?

• Doris Meade : [after Bob has kicked Lily for making a wisecrack]  What happened?

  Tom Meade : Oh, she had her mouth open, and tripped over it.

• Tom Meade : You want to get your money out of that property, don't you?

  Lily : Yeah!

  Tom Meade : You want to help me get it off our hands so I can dump it off on some *other* unsuspecting jerk, don't you?

  Lily : Right!

  Tom Meade : Well, Didi is the magic word... and I'm gonna' need help.

  Lily : The whole thing sounds underhanded, disgraceful, and messy... and you can count on me.

• Tom Meade : [shooing away Boy Scouts who are peering through the window at him and Didi in the lake cottage]  Hey, scram. Get out of here. Go whittle a redwood... Communists!

• Lily : The trouble with men is, they don't understand what makes a woman tick.

  Tom Meade : This one ticks like a time bomb.

  Lily : [rummaging in Didi's purse]  Now, any woman who carries sleeping pills has *got* to carry pep pills... and here they are!

  Tom Meade : Oh, Lilly, I could almost kiss you! - I said "almost".

• Didi : [worried about staying alone at a remote cabin]  But what if I meet some wild animals?

  Tom Meade : Well, they'll just have to take their chances.

• Tom Meade : [chased by police]  I got more fuzz on my tail than a French poodle.