A Guide for the Married Man (1967)

Art Carney: Technical Adviser

Quotes 

• Technical Adviser : Baby, I'm sorry.

  Technical Adviser : Well, you ought to be.

  Technical Adviser : Yeah, yeah, I feel terrible, baby. I don't know why you put up with me.

  Technical Adviser : Neither do I. Did you eat?

  Technical Adviser : Yeah, I caught a hamburger in some joint, then I sort of just drove around. I feel terrible, honey.

  Technical Adviser : Well, maybe we do have chicken a little too often.

  Technical Adviser : No, honey, it's not that. It's just this crazy temper of mine. I don't know why I keep taking it out on you.

  Technical Adviser : Maybe that's what a wife is for.

  Technical Adviser : No, honey - I love your chicken.

  Technical Adviser : Really, honey?

  Technical Adviser : Most of all I love you, honey.

  Technical Adviser : I love you, honey.

  Technical Adviser : See you tonight, baby.

• Technical Adviser : Joe?

  Technical Adviser : Yeah. Hi, baby.

  Technical Adviser : Hi, honey.

  Technical Adviser : How are the kids?

  Technical Adviser : Fine.

  Technical Adviser : Good. What's for dinner?

  Technical Adviser : Chicken.

  Technical Adviser : Chicken? We just had that two days ago.

  Technical Adviser : No, that was last Thursday we had chicken.

  Technical Adviser : Are you calling me a liar?

  Technical Adviser : No, honey...

  Technical Adviser : A man kills himself working for his wife and family all day long. What does he get when he gets home? Chicken and insults!

  Technical Adviser : Honey!

  Technical Adviser : Well, it's not bad enough we have chicken every day...

  Technical Adviser : We do not have chicken every day!

  Technical Adviser : Why don't you learn how to cook something else for a change?

  Technical Adviser : I do. Yesterday we had pot roast.

  Technical Adviser : Pot roast? It tasted more like the pot than the roast.

  Technical Adviser : Are you complaining about my cooking?

  Technical Adviser : Yes.

  Technical Adviser : Well, if you don't like it why don't you go someplace else?

  Technical Adviser : All right, I will!

  Technical Adviser : All right, go ahead!