The Shakiest Gun in the West (1968)

Lorna Thayer: Saloon Girl

Quotes 

• Jesse Heywood : [drunk]  Failure, failure, failure, failure, failure, failure, failure. That's the story of my life, you know. Two things have always been my downfall - I have always been the most failure of anybody, and I'm too thin.

  Saloon Girl : [drunk]  But I don't think you're too thin.

  Jesse Heywood : Ah, it's all bloat. Bloated thin failure! That's me.

  [waggles both of his thumbs at himself] 

  Saloon Girl : I think you're wonderful. I just love a man that can't make his mark in life.

  Jesse Heywood : Uhuh Penny, uhuh Penny, she's really something, you know that?

  [looks at saloon girl questioningly] 

  Saloon Girl : [nods affirmatively]  Uhuh.

  Jesse Heywood : You know she used me. She tricked me.

  [tearfully] 

  Jesse Heywood : She made me think that she loved me.

  Saloon Girl : [shakes her head sympathetically]  Ohhh...

  Jesse Heywood : I should have known better.

  [tearfully] 

  Jesse Heywood : Nobody ever loved me. Did you know I had to take my own cousin to the graduation dance?

  Saloon Girl : [shakes her head sympathetically and tearfully]  Ohhhhhhhhhh...

  Jesse Heywood : I threw up on her dress.

  Saloon Girl : [slurring]  You are really my kind of guy.