Photos
Quotes
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Lt. Columbo : My ears pop in an elevator. As a matter of fact, I don't even like being this tall.
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Lady : Lieutenant Columbo. Are you with the Army?
Lt. Columbo : Los Angeles Police Department.
Lady : Oh. Have we done something?
Lt. Columbo : No, ma'am. Not that I know of, no. I'm just here - I'm just part of an investigation.
Lady : Well, of what? Are you with the Vice Squad? I don't remember having a good time.
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Lt. Columbo : Say, that's delicious. I never tasted chili like that before.
Luke Basket : That's a special recipe made out of squirrel meat. That good, ain't it?
Lt. Columbo : [pause] Hmm. Yeah, that explains it.
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Lt. Columbo : Any man that can sing like that can't be all bad
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Tommy Brown : Aren't you afraid, bein' up here alone with a killer?
Lt. Columbo : No, sir. No, sir, I had a feeling that sooner or later...
[switches on the car radio playing "I Saw the Light"]
Lt. Columbo : Sooner or later you would have confessed, even if I hadn't caught you.
Tommy Brown : Yeah, you're right, Lieutenant. I would've... 'cause it was gettin' to me and I'm glad it's over.
Lt. Columbo : Listen, any man that can sing like that can't be all bad.
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Tommy Brown : You got a good ear for music.
Lt. Columbo : Well, you know I'm Italian.
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Lt. Columbo : I'm not here to pry into your personal life.
Tommy Brown : My personal life is an open book. Everybody knows I done time.
Lt. Columbo : Yes, sir, but what you've done since you've gotten out, that's been an inspiration to a lot of people.
Tommy Brown : Then what're you buggin' me for?
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Lt. Columbo : [Showing ID in a hushed tone] L.A.P.D., Lieutenant Columbo. I just didn't want to identify myself in front of the reporter.
Roland Pangborn : Why not?
Lt. Columbo : Well, it's like you're saying, it's better to be unofficial until you get the facts.
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Mr. Grindell : I'm a great admire of the police department, you know...
Lt. Columbo : I didn't know but I'm always glad to hear that
Mr. Grindell : Why shouldn't you hear of it? After all you men are so willing to give your life to save ours!
Lt. Columbo : Well... Let's hope it doesn't come up too often.
Mr. Grindell : Yes, yes, yes... But it does, doesn't it? Especially in these violent times, its um... Just this morning at the breakfast with my dear wife Martha, I glanced at the paper and I uh, I noted the rate of police mortality is just shocking, I mean, it just... well you must be aware of that.
Lt. Columbo : Well, we don't like to think about it often...
Mr. Grindell : But one should think of it, shouldn't one?
Lt. Columbo : Well, it's just kind of thing you don't really do anything about till you have to.
Mr. Grindell : But, if you need a funeral, you'd not be in the condition to do anything about it, you see...
[both chuckle uncomfortably]
Lt. Columbo : Right, I see what you mean...
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Lt. Columbo : You know what the problem is? You're a celebrity. Because of you, my boss, he won't let me close up this case until I covered everything. Every loose end's gotta be tied up. Hey, make you crazy. So that's the problem.
Tommy Brown : That's a cryin' shame. It really is. Man with your talent, real killers loose out there, and they got you chasin' smoke.
Lt. Columbo : Whadda ya gonna do? That's the job, right? You take the good with the bad.
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Lt. Columbo : Tommy Brown, he's a singer.
Colonel Mayehoff : Good. Just as long as he isn't a pilot.
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Roland Pangborn : You know something Lieutenant, I could use a man like you on my team. It's really nothing but detective work.
Lt. Columbo : Oh no. Thank you very much. You fellas... you have to fly.
Roland Pangborn : Sure. We're all pilots.
Lt. Columbo : Oh no. Not for me. Thank you very much. I wouldn't qualify for that.
Roland Pangborn : Why? We'd teach you.
Lt. Columbo : I appreciate it, sir, but eh, my ears pop in an elevator. As a matter of fact, I don't even like being this tall.
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Lt. Columbo : You see, in my line of work, homicide, somebody is always, well, dead. That's the only way to put it.
