Will Ferrell: Various, George W. Bush, Craig Buchanan, Alex Trebek, Marty Culp, James Lipton, Self, Announcer, Neil Diamond, Steve Butabi, Tom Wilkins, Janet Reno, Robert Goulet, Roger Klarvin, Self - Host, Technician, Baron Nocturna, Bill McDonald, Craig, Frank Henderson, Gene Frenkle, Hank, Hank Petchow, Harry Carey, Henry Hyde, Jacob Silj, Jerry Reed, Ken Pamillan, Roger Clarvin, Ted Kaczynski, Tommy, Truck Driver, Abraham Lincoln, Actor, Al Kyda, Alan Sues's son, Anchor, Assistant, Bather, Big Brawn, Big Jake, Bob Guccione, Brian Boitano, Broker, Campaigner, Camper, Cardinal Egan, Carlo, Charlton Heston, Contestant, Crazy person, Dale McGrew, Dan Fouts, David Laird, David Larry, David Pelletier, Dick Armey, Director, DoctorVarious, Don West, Donald Sutherland, Doug, Dr. Michael Friedman, Dr. Paul Renoylds, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Phil, Elevator passenger, Elton john, Ernie the Infaintilist, Fan, Fidel Castro, Frank Fisher, Frat boy, Fred Friendship, Harry Caray, Honeydew Band Member, Host, J. Jay Granger, Janice, Janitor, Jay Thomas, Jeffrey's Supervisor, Jesus, John Edwards, John Two Eagles Flying, Jonathan, Jonathan Vaas, Jor-El, Junkie, Kenneth Starr, Kevin Bacon, Kyle Richards, Larry King, Leif Barrett, Leslie Attebury, Little Person, Malcolm Bayles, Mark McGwire, Marty Barrett, Marv Levy...

George W. Bush : I'm gonna be around for a long time. On the job, making the tough decisions 24/7. That's 24 hours a week, 7 months a year.
Sean Connery : Knock, knock.

Alex Trebek : Who's there?

Sean Connery : Me, the guy who slept with your mother last night!
Marty Culp : Bobbi and I once faced the terrors of tripping on pot.
Langford T. Belmont : So when it comes time to fix that refrigerator magnet or put together a little house of popsicle sticks, you don't want some cheap synthetic glue. You want pure mutilated horse paste.
George H.W. Bush : [training Dubya on how to speak to the press] Now, son, try it again.

George W. Bush : No, you're giving me a headache! Can I just go get a Pop-Tart?

See also