- Narrator: [opening credits] This is the city! It could be your city!
- Female Voice: Lucky for you it's not. What a jungle!
- Narrator: Yes, this city like many others is a victim of rising crime.
- Male Voice: Tell me. I live with bars on my windows while the crooks are out on the streets.
- Female Voice: I bought one of those Doberman dogs. They beat them up.
- Narrator: And where does the average citizen find justice?
- Male Voice: Not here, buddy.
- Female Voice: Ooo, could we use Superman now!
- Male Voice: Ah, nobody cares!
- Narrator: Nobody? What about the honorable Matthew J. Sirota of Night Court?
- Male Voice: Oh, he's the one whose tough but fair.
- Female Voice: Oh, yeah. He's a nice man.