And Justice for All (1979)

Vincent Beck: Officer Leary

Quotes 

• [Officer Leary is on the witness stand] 

  Officer Leary : I told him to move on, but he continued to use profanity and he refused to leave the premises.

  Judge Rayford : What sort of profanity?

  Officer Leary : You know, the normal kind.

  Judge Rayford : Officer Leary, we've all heard these words before, now for the record what did he say?

  Officer Leary : [uncomfortably]  He used... "fuck" a lot.

  [quiet laughter from the gallery] 

  Officer Leary : ..."piss on you"...

  [more laughter] 

  Officer Leary : ...then said he was gonna... "bung-hole the short order chef"... "cream on the waitress"...

  [more laughter] 

  Officer Leary : ...stuff like that, Your Honor.

  Dapper Defendant : There's a very good reason for all of that, Your Honor.

  Judge Rayford : Oh? What is that?

  Dapper Defendant : I'm a diabetic.

  [loud laughter from the gallery] 

  Judge Rayford : I fail to see the connection. I've never heard of diabetes causing foul language!

  Dapper Defendant : That's because you're a douchebag.

  [entire courtroom erupts into laughter, including Officer Leary before he catches himself and forces a poker face]