Diner (1982)

Steve Guttenberg: Eddie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Edward Eddie Simmons : You're dealing with a rational girl; that's your problem.

• Eddie : Shrev, you happy with your marriage or what?

  Shrevie : I don't know.

  Eddie : What do you mean, you don't know? You don't know?

  Shrevie : What?

  Eddie : How could you not? You don't know? How could you not know?

  Shrevie : I don't know! Beth is terrific and everything, but, just, I don't know. I tell you a big part of the problem, though, when you get married. You know, when you're dating, everything is talking about sex. Right? Where can we do it? You know, why can't we do it? Are your parents gonna be out so - so we can do it, you know? Trying to get a weekend, just so we can do it.

  Eddie : So they can do it, right.

  Shrevie : Everything is always talkin' about gettin' sex, and then planning the wedding, all the details.

  Eddie : Details, shit.

  Shrevie : But then, when you get married - it's crazy, i dunno. I mean, you can get it whenever you want it! You wake up in the morning and she's there. You come home from work and she's there. And so all that sex planning talk is over with. And so is the wedding planning talk cause you're already married.

  Eddie : Right.

  Shrevie : So - you know, I can come down here and we can bullshit the whole night away but I cannot hold a five minute conversation with Beth. I mean, it's not her fault, I'm not blaming her, she's great. It's...

  Eddie : Nah, of course not.

  Shrevie : It's just, we got nothin' to talk about. But, it's good. It's good.

  Eddie : It's good. It's nice, right.

  Shrevie : Yeah, it's nice.

  Eddie : Well, we always got the Diner.

  Shrevie : Yeah, we always got the Diner.

• Shrevie : What happened?

  Fenwick : All I did was I parked the car on a nice lonely road, I looked at her, and I said, "Fuck or fight."

  Shrevie : Hey, that's a good line.

  Eddie : Maniac.

  Modell : You always know exactly what to say.

• Boogie : You want to bet that she goes for my pecker - first thing?

  Fenwick : The only hand on your pecker is going to be your own

  Boogie : You want to bet me? You want to bet me twenty?

  Fenwick : Yeah.

  Eddie : I'm in.

  Modell : Me too.

  Shrevie : Yeah, I'm in too. But, we need validation.

  Boogie : All right. I'll arrange it.

  Shrevie : How? You gonna get - finger prints? I'm tellin' ya, I'm not gonna do the dustin'.

• Edward Eddie Simmons : If you want to talk, you always have the guys at the diner. You don't need a girl if you wanna talk.

• Eddie : You... You... You make me sick. You've just gone down two steps in my... my book!

• Edward 'Eddie' Simmons : When you're making out, which do you prefer, Sinatra or Mathis?

  Robert 'Boogie' Sheftell : I like Presley.

• Eddie : Do you think I'm doing the right thing, gettin' married?

  Boogie : Eddie, I can't tell you that.

  Eddie : I keep thinkin' that I'm gonna be missin' out on things, you know.

  Boogie : Yeah, well, that's what marriage is all about.

• Bride (Elyse) : [while taking football quiz]  Can I go to the bathroom?

  Edward Eddie Simmons : No.

• Eddie : You can't compare Mathis to Sinatra. There's no way! No way. They're in totally different leagues.

  Shrevie : Eddie, they're both great singers.

  Modell : You know, the thing about Sinatra, he's good, but, thin. I don't like that.

• Modell : Who do you make-out to? Sinatra or Mathis?

  Eddie : That's a stupid question.

  Modell : One question. Answer that.

  Eddie : It's irrelevant. I won't answer it. Mathis.

  Modell : How 'bout you Shrev?

  Shrevie : I'm married! We don't make-out.

• Boogie : You son of a bitch, you're a virgin, aren't you?

  Eddie : [pause]  Technically.

• Eddie : I'll tell you one thing that happens when you get married, you have to give up your old friends. Cause the wife wants you to get new friends. New friends - nope. It's you and me. You and me, buddy, we got secrets she'll never know. Never know. Those new friends will never be as good. Nope! Cause we've - we've got a history. History!

• Boogie : I bet you I can ball Carol Heathrow on the next date.

  Fenwick : Now, you're nuts.

  Eddie : No.

  Modell : Come on, Boog.

  Boogie : You want to bet me 50 bucks a guy?

  Eddie : Fifty?

  Shrevie : It's like stealin' money from you Boog.

  Boogie : Are you in?

  Shrevie : Yeah, I'm in. I'm bettin'. I'm in!

• Eddie : Let's see, it's two more days to the test and, if she passes, its two more days to the thing. Marriage.

  Shrevie : So, where you guys going? You gonna go to Puerto Rico?

  Eddie : No, Cuba.

  Shrevie : Cuba, that's nice. My parents' friends, the Copelands, they go there every year.