The Jewel of the Nile (1985)
Michael Douglas: Jack
Photos
Quotes
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Jack T. Colton : I thought you said you wanted to sail around the world with me?
Joan Wilder : Well, I do, but, but not all of it this week. I mean, Jack, this is just becoming a blur. Exotic ports. And great parties. And spectacular sunsets. It's not enough.
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Jack T. Colton : What the hell are you talkin' about? I don't even know who the hell you are!
Tarak : You must come with me to help find the Jewel.
Ralph : [face lights up] Jewel? What jewel?
Tarak : The Jewel of the Nile. Our most pricess Jewel. Omar stole my people's Jewel. Omar is a very bad man.
Ralph : Yeah, that scum, I spit on him! Jack... buddy? Let's help this nice man get his jewel back.
Tarak : Yes... yes?
Jack T. Colton : Here, I don't know where you're from or what you're on, but I'm sailing my boat tonight.
Tarak : No! You must come to help find the Jewel now! Before Omar kill many people! As long as Omar have the Jewel... nothing can stop him.
Jack T. Colton : Look, I'm going on the boat. You guys can do what you want.
[behind Jack, his sailboat blows up; Jack slowly turns around looking stunned while both Tarak and Ralph are stunned as well]
Ralph : The boat blew up.
Jack T. Colton : My boat blew up?
Ralph : The boat blew up!
Jack T. Colton : Everything's gone.
Ralph : Who are you? The prince of darkness? Don't you got any friends?
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Tarak : Your woman is in danger too. I will take you to him.
Ralph : I'm comin' too!
Jack T. Colton : The hell you are!
Ralph : Look, you owe me Colton. So, where ever you're going, I'm going. Where we going?
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[Omar has put Jack and Joan in a deathtrap copied from one of Joan's own books]
Jack Colton : So how'd they get out?
Joan Wilder : What?
Jack Colton : In "The Savage Secret".
Joan Wilder : Oh. Um... Jesse had a knife hidden in his boot. You wouldn't happen to have a knife, would you?
Jack Colton : I'm not even wearing underwear.
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[while surrounded by native Africans]
Jack Colton : Just keep smiling. Maybe they'll think we're with National Geographic.
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Jack Colton : It's looking more like 90-10, eh Kumquat?
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[Jack, Joan and the Jewel are under fire from Omar's soldiers]
Jack Colton : Okay, now let's go.
Joan Wilder : [refering to the Jewel] Wait a minute, Jack. He's coming with us.
Jack Colton : Don't start with me, Joan! I've come halfway across Africa to rescue you!
Joan Wilder : Resuce me? I was doing fine without you!
Jewel : [to Jack] Please, I am guide. I can help you.
Jack Colton : I don't need a guide! I need a miracle!
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Jack Colton : Why does everything got to be your way?
Joan Wilder : My way? It wasn't my idea to take off and sail around the world with you on your boat for the last six months!
Jewel : I like this. You talk to each other like this often?
Jack Colton : [to the Jewel] Well, let me tell you what I had to put up. Three months ago, we're moored off the Canary Islands, midnight, sound asleep. A boat of three crazed Joan Wilder fans decide that they want the anchor of the Angeline for a souvenir! We were drifting for days!
Joan Wilder : Well, do you remember the incident at Gibraltar, Jack?
Jack Colton : Oh, come on. Not that again.
Joan Wilder : He has to meet me at the governor's mansion for a formal dinner, and you show up with the entire Italian National League Basketball team!
Jack Colton : Hey, they were hungry.
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Joan Wilder : Jack!
Jack T. Colton : Hold tight, I'm coming!
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Jack T. Colton : I'm sorry you had such a tough time. Ah, how 'bout a hundred bucks?
Ralph : A hundred bucks? I'll give you a one-way ticket to harp land. No more jokes! What'd you do with it?
Jack T. Colton : What are you talkin' about?
Ralph : The stone, moron!
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Tarak : You are guests of Omar. Find for us the jewel. Accept your destiny!
Jack T. Colton : Destiny, my ass.
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Ralph : You hook up with a bunch of juju beads, you see what happens?
Jack T. Colton : Just take you're lead from me and you'll be fine.
Ralph : What are we going to do? Walk right through the center of town?
Jack T. Colton : I'm going to put you up a camel's ass - for openers.
Ralph : I think I might like it.
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Jack Colton : [Jack points flair gun at the F-16 Pilot] OK, flyboy. You're estimated time of departure is right now!
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Jack Colton : All right!, If we get out of this alive, I'm going to kill you. Let's go, come on!
