Moving Violations (1985)

James Keach: Deputy Halik

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dana Cannon : [coming into classroom as if he were the instructor]  All right people, settle down, take your seats, thank you...

  [to kid wearing red shirt] 

  Dana Cannon : That means you too, Red.

  [to black man with dredlocks] 

  Dana Cannon : Hey man, I've got all your albums, you're the greatest! All right, everybody stand up, please! Everybody up, c'mon!

  [to Wink Barnes, who refuses] 

  Dana Cannon : You! In the back! What, you waiting for a special invitation?

  Wink Barnes : [leaning back in his chair]  You talkin' to me?

  Dana Cannon : Yes, you too! Uppity-up-up-up!

  [he rises] 

  Dana Cannon : You're gonna like this! C'mon! Now, breathe in...

  [class members take deep breath in] 

  Dana Cannon : ... blow out

  [they blow out] 

  Dana Cannon : . Breathe in, blow out. That's it. Now, shake it out

  [all wiggle] 

  Dana Cannon : Good.

  [Deputies Halik and Morris enter] 

  Dana Cannon : Now, if the women will all be so kind as to take off all their clothes, we can get things rolling.

  Deputy Halik : Sit down, Mr. Cannon.

  Dana Cannon : Wait, wait. Could it be?

  [to camera] 

  Dana Cannon : How big a coincidence is this?

  [singing song] 

  Dana Cannon : Reunited, 'cause it feels so good!

  [class collectively laughs] 

  Deputy Halik : [trying to suppress his anger]  Sit down.

  Dana Cannon : Aren't you guys in the wrong room? Shouldn't you be next door at the pro-acid rain rally?

  Deputy Halik : Mr. Cannon, we're your traffic school instructors.

  Dana Cannon : [to the others]  Is this an interesting surprise or what?

  Deputy Virginia Morris : [angrily]  Sit down before I mold your face into an ashtray.

  [as Dana sits down, Halik and Morris smile at each other fondly] 

  Dana Cannon : See? All you had to do was ask nicely.

  Deputy Halik : [to the others]  THIS will not be tolerated in this classroom! Now, I demand strict discipline.

  Dana Cannon : [to the elderly Japanese gentlemen sitting next to him]  I just love it when he gets angry like this, don't you?

  [the elderly man says nothing] 

  Dana Cannon : I thought so.

• Deputy Halik : Before you go home tonight, we'd like to show you a little film on traffic safety called, "Blood Flows Red on the Highway."

  Wink Barnes : All right!

• Deputy Halik : You've changed my life! You've taught me a whole new of looking at the law.

  Judge Nedra Henderson : Well come on back to my place. I'll show you a whole new way of looking at my body.

• Deputy Halik : So what's it going to be? Boxing? Karate? Wrestling?

  Dana Cannon : Are you kidding? Look, wimp...

  Amy Hopkins : [terrified]  Oh, Jesus...

  Dana Cannon : You come on as this big macho strong man. How about a real test of strength? How about arm wrestling?

  Deputy Halik : Sounds good, Cannon. I happen to be Western Division arm wrestling champ, so don't be surprised when I break your arm in two!

  Dana Cannon : Sounds fun. Come on, dickhead!

• Judge Nedra Henderson : Are you going to be a good boy?

  Deputy Halik : Yes, mommy, yes!

• Deputy Halik : I got my promotion.

  Deputy Virginia Morris : I got my period.

• Deputy Halik : By the time you complete this course, you will know all the rules of the road, backwards and forwards.

  Dana Cannon : [raises hand]  Will there be any cooking tips, like what to do with those darned holiday leftovers?

• [Dana and Halik are inside the Men's room; Dana attempts to make amends with Halik by apologizing and shaking hands] 

  Dana Cannon : Hey, look. I think we've got off on the wrong foot, and I'm sorry. Why don't we shake hands and wipe the slate clean?

  [Halik angrly shoves Dana against the wall] 

  Deputy Halik : [cross]  Now look, mister. I'll be straight with you: I hate your ass.

  Dana Cannon : Oh, come on. This has gone too far.

  Deputy Halik : [furious]  Shut up! I'm teaching this shithead class 'cause you got me demoted! That's right. You screwed up my promotion, my career. And now I'm gonna screw things up for you.

  Dana Cannon : Sounds fair.

  Deputy Halik : You just watch yourself.

  [cracks his right knuckle] 

  Deputy Halik : I'll crush you.

  Dana Cannon : Okay, but just long as we can still be friends, okay?

• Dana Cannon : [whining]  Dad, are we there yet? I'm hungry.

  Deputy Halik : Shut up!

• [Halik pees in his pants as an 18 wheeler crashes into the traffic school's Chevrolet Malibu test car] 

  Dana Cannon : It's like I always say: When the going gets tough, the tough get going in their pants.

  [Amy, Wink, and Jeff laughs; Halik covers his area] 

  Deputy Halik : [turns cross]  Go ahead and laugh. None of you gonna finish Traffic School anyway. You're gonna all fail. And I guarantee you: None of you will ever see your cars again.

• [Upon seeing the wrecked track, caused by Scott and rigged by Halik, the class automatically fails the course; The class walks from the course feeling devastated] 

  Spencer Popadophalos : We didn't do so hot.

  Dana Cannon : How about "We all failed"?

  Joan Pudillo : My God, we're never gonna drive again.

  Scott Greeber : I don't believe it.

  Jeff Roth : That's it. My Dad's coming back in town tomorrow. I'm dead

  [Halik and Morris approaches] 

  Deputy Halik : Too bad. Tough break. If I were you, I'd get used to public transportation.

• Deputy Halik : Morning, Chief Fromm!

  Chief Rowe : Good morning... Halik!

  Deputy Halik : Yes sir?

  Chief Rowe : I've thought it over... I'm going to recommend you for that promotion.

  Deputy Halik : Yes, sir... that's very good news, sir

  Chief Rowe : Your records' unblemished, you deserve it, Halik!

  Deputy Halik : Yes , sir! Now if you'll excuse me, sir, I have to make my daily quota of citations, sir.

  Chief Rowe : Of course... see you around, Halik!

  Deputy Halik : Have a good day, sir.

  Chief Rowe : What a tight-ass!

• Deputy Halik : [flabbergasted that Spencer has his son and daughter sitting in desks next to him]  What are these?

  Spencer Popadophalos : I'm a single parent. By day, they're in school. At night, there's no one to take care of them.

  Deputy Halik : All right, just keep them quiet.