Radio Days (1987)

Josh Mostel: Abe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ceil : Don't you wanna hit the hot spots and drink Champagne from my slipper?

  Abe : I can't take that much liquid.

• Ceil : Abe, have you seen mama's teeth. She left them in a glass of water yesterday, and she can't find them.

  Abe : Kids were playing hockey with them.

  Ceil : They were playing hockey with mama's teeth?

  Abe : Yeah, the're about the same size as a puck.

• Narrator : Ceil adored a very prominent ventriloquist, and this always used to drive Abe crazy:

  Abe : He's a ventriloquist on the radio - how do you know he's not moving his lips?

  Ceil : Who cares? Leave me alone!

  [bursts with laughter] 

• Abe : Only creeps and crazy people go out on new year's eve.

  Ceil : Then you should definitely go out, Abe.

• Ceil : Oh, Abe, how come you never take me to the Copacabana or El Morocco?

  Abe : Take the gas pipe.

  Ceil : I suppose you would have been happier married to Rita Hayworth.

  Abe : You gotta ask?

  Ceil : Believe me, Abe, those show business celebrities get divorced every six weeks, but we're together forever.

  Abe : I may take the gas pipe.

• Ceil : Just once, I'd like to eat at the Stork Club.

  Abe : They don't take Jews in the Stork Club. No Jews, no colored.

  Ceil : Abe, this is the United States of America.

• Ceil : French fries? You ate French fries? You won't eat my French fries but you'll eat the Russian's, the commie's French fries?

  Mother : I'm gonna get him some bicarbonate.

  Ceil : That's too good for him. He deserves an enema!

  Abe : Oh, Ceil.

  Ceil : Yeah, right.