Ghostbusters II (1989)
Harold Ramis: Dr. Egon Spengler
Photos
Quotes
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Egon : Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610.
Peter Venkman : 105 years old, he hung in there, didn't he?
Ray : He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disembowled, drawn and quartered.
Peter Venkman : Ouch.
Winston : Guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh?
Egon : No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.
Peter Venkman : Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?
Ray : And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, his last words were "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back."
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Louis Tully : Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the audience, I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Sure, the blackout was a big problem for everybody. I was trapped in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them. Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.
[the courtroom is in bewildered silence]
Egon : Very good, Louis. Short, but pointless.
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Egon : I'd like to run some gynecological tests on the mother.
Peter Venkman : Who wouldn't?
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Peter Venkman : [to Egon] Who told you to stop cutting? Somebody tell you to stop cutting?
First Cop : What are you guys doing here?
Peter Venkman : [to First Cop] You tell him to stop cutting?
First Cop : Yes, I told him to stop cutting. What are you doing?
Peter Venkman : What's it look like we're doing here? Why don't you let us work? We let you work.
Ray : [to Peter] Hey, take it easy.
[to First Cop]
Ray : He's been working overtime. I'll tell you why we're here. We're here because some diaper bag downtown's being a jerk and making us work on a Friday night. Am I right, Peter?
Peter Venkman : Of course you're right, Raymond.
[to Egon]
Peter Venkman : Is he right, Ziggy?
Egon : [pause] Yo!
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Peter Venkman : Hi, Egon. How's school? I bet those science chicks really dig that large cranium of yours, huh?
Egon : I think they're more interested in my epididymis.
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Peter Venkman : [as the Mayor walks in]
[Raising his voice over the rest of the 'Busters]
Peter Venkman : Lenny. Big man.
The Mayor : The Ghostbusters.
Winston : Mr. Mayor?
[Holds out his hand, wanting to shake his hand]
The Mayor : What is this? A slumber party?
Ray : Well, that's why we wanted to see you.
The Mayor : Listen, *I* don't want to hear anything about it. You got two minutes. Make it good.
Ray : [Getting started] Well, first of all Mr. Mayor, it's a great pleasure to see you again, and you'll be happy to know that almost fifty percent of us voted for you in the last election.
The Mayor : I appreciate that.
Peter Venkman : I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances.
Ray : Mr. Mayor, we're here tonight because a psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proportions is building up beneath the city.
The Mayor : Psycho-what?
Egon : Psychomagnatheric.
Peter Venkman : Big word, big word.
Egon : Negative human emotions that are forming into a vicious ectoplasm with *explosive* supernormal potential.
The Mayor : Can somebody speak English here?
Winston : Uh yeah. Your honor, what we're trying to say is all of the bad feelings. You know hate, anger and the vibes of the city are turning into this *sludge*. I didn't believe in it either. But, we just went for a swim in it and end up almost killing each other.
Hardemeyer : [to the Mayor]
[aggravated]
Hardemeyer : This is insane! Do we *really* have to listen to this?
Peter Venkman : [to Hardemeyer] Can't you stop your lips from flapping for 2 little minutes?
[to the Mayor]
Peter Venkman : Lenny, have you been out on the street lately, do you know weird it is out there? We've taken our own headcount, there seems to be 3 *million* completely miserable assholes living in the Tri-State area.
Hardemeyer : [In disbelief] Please.
Peter Venkman : I beg your pardon, 3 million and *one*.
Hardemeyer : Hey.
Ray : And what *fudgy brain* here doesn't realize, that if we don't do something fast this whole place is gonna blow like a frog on a hot plate.
Hardemeyer : [In disbelief] Yeah, right.
The Mayor : What do you want me to do, go on television and tell 3 million people they have to be *nice* to each other?
[Begins to walk off]
The Mayor : Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's god-given right. Your two minutes are up, good night gentlemen.
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[Egon and Ray are showing Peter and Winston their breakthrough with a slime specimen]
Egon : Go ahead, Ray!
Ray : [shouting at the slime] You! You worthless piece of slime! You ignorant disgusting blob!
[slime twitches]
Egon : You're nothing but an unstable short-chained molecule!
Ray : You foul obnoxious muck!
[bubbles dangerously with every insult]
Egon : You have a weak electrochemical bond!
[starts to bubble over]
Ray : I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but you take the cake!
Peter Venkman : This is what you do with your spare time?
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Ray : Two in the box!
Egon : Ready to go.
Peter Venkman : We be fast.
Ray , Egon , Peter Venkman : And they be slow!
Louis Tully : Wow!
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[after failing to break through the ectoplasm surrounding the Museum]
Egon : That slime mold is pulsing with evil. It would take a tremendous amount of positive energy to crack that shell and I seriously doubt there's enough goodwill left in this town to do it.
Ray : You know, I just can't believe things have gotten so bad in this city that there's no way back. I mean, sure, it's dirty, it's crowded, it's polluted, it's noisy and there's people all around who'd just as soon step on your face as look at you. But come on! There's got to be a few sparks of sweet humanity left in this burned-out 'burg and we just have to figure out a way to mobilize it.
Egon : He's right. We need something that everyone in this town can get behind, we need... a symbol!
Ray : Something that appeals to the best in each and every one of us.
Egon : Something good.
Winston : Something decent.
Peter Venkman : Something pure.
[They are all looking at the image of the Statue of Liberty on the Ecto-1's license plate]
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Egon : Venkman, would you get a stool specimen, please.
Peter Venkman : Business or personal?
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[piloting the Statue of Liberty]
Egon : We're running out of time, Ray, it's almost midnight. Can't you make her go any faster?
Ray : I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet.
Egon : I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.
Peter Venkman : Hey, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!
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[Ray has stepped in front of the painting of Vigo, blocking the Ghostbusters' attack]
Egon : Ray... we'd like to shoot the monster. Could you move, please?
Peter Venkman : Ray...
Winston : Ray?
Egon , Peter Venkman , Winston : RAY!
[Ray turns around, he is Ray/Vigo]
Ray : [demonic voice] NO! I, Ray, am Vigo, shall rule the Earth! Begone, you pitiful half-men!
Peter Venkman : Now!
[they attack]
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[the Ghostbusters have been committed to a mental hospital]
Ray : As I explained before, we think the spirit of a 17th century Moldavian tyrant is alive and well in a painting at the Manhattan Museum of Art.
Psychiatrist : Uh-huh, and are there any other paintings in the museum with bad spirits in them?
Egon : You're wasting valuable time. He's drawing strength from a psychomagnotheric slime flow that's been collecting under the city.
Psychiatrist : Yes, tell me about the slime.
Winston : It's very potent stuff. We made a toaster dance with it.
[motions to Peter]
Winston : And a bathtub tried to eat his friend's baby.
Psychiatrist : A bathtub?
Peter Venkman : [with his head buried in his arms in despair] Don't look at me. I think these people are completely nuts.
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Egon : Let's see what happens when we take away the puppy.
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Egon : [talking about the mood slime after yelling at it] We're running tests to see if we can get an equally strong positive response.
Peter Venkman : What kind of tests?
Ray : Well, we sing to it, talk to it, and say supportive, nurturing things to it.
Peter Venkman : You're not sleeping with it, are you, Ray?
[Ray doesn't answer, but stares intently at Egon]
Peter Venkman : [noticing Egon, teasingly] You hound.
Winston : It's always the quiet ones.
Egon : [clears throat, and hastily changes the subject] How 'bout the kinetic test?
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Judge Wexler : [two ghosts in electrics chairs are attacking the court room] The Scolari brothers!
Ray : Friends of yours?
Judge Wexler : I tried them for murder, gave 'em the chair! You've got to do something!
Egon : Why don't you just tell them you don't believe in ghosts?
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Judge Wexler : Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz, Egon Spengler,
[yells]
Judge Wexler : Stand up! Get up!
[the Ghostbusters stand up]
Judge Wexler : You too, Mr. Tully.
[Louis stands up]
Judge Wexler : [furious] I find guilty on all charges. I order to pay fines in the amount of $25,000 each...
[the mood slime burbles; Ray notices it]
Judge Wexler : ... and I sentence you to 18 months in the City Correctional Facility at Riker's Island.
Ray : Egie, she's twiching.
Judge Wexler : [yells] I'M NOT FINISHED!
[slime continues to boil]
Judge Wexler : On a more presonal note, let me just go on record as saying that there's no place for fakes, charlatans...
Egon : Uh, your honor?
Judge Wexler : [cuts Egon off] Shut up! Or tricksters like you in desent society!
Peter Venkman : Your honor, this is important.
Judge Wexler : You play on the gullibility of innocent people!
Ray : Yes, sir...
Judge Wexler : Be quiet!
Ray : But...
[poits to the bubbling mood slime as it spills over]
Judge Wexler : [yelling] If my hands weren't tied by the alterable fetters of the law, then I would invoke the tradition of our illustrious forbears, reach back to a purer, sterner justice
[screaming at the top of his lungs]
Judge Wexler : and have you BURNED AT THE STAKE!
[the ghosts of the Scoleri brothers bursts from the slime; the jury members, many vistors and the prosecutor are all frightened]
Ray : [amazed] Wow!
Judge Wexler : [shocked and frightened] Oh, my God! The Scoleri Brothers!
[Wexler leaps from his bench as the ghosts attempt to attack him. He then crawls to Louis and the now-prosecuted Ghostbusters]
Judge Wexler : [yells] The Scoleri Brothers!
Ray : Friends of yours?
Judge Wexler : I've tried them for murder! Gave them the chair!
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Janosz : [singing] We will come from behind...
Ray : Hey.
Janosz : What... wha...
[Egon and Ray help a positively charged slimed Janosz up to his feet]
Egon : Are you all right?
Janosz : Eh... wh... why am I drippings with goo?
Egon : You had a violent, prolonged transformative, psychic episode.
Janosz : Huh?
Ray : Sorry we had to hose you there, but you were kind of out of control. Hey man, let me tell you something. I love you.
Janosz : [flattered with joy] Yes?
Ray : Yeah.
Janosz : Well, I love you too.
[They both hug]
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Egon : My parents didn't believe in toys.
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Egon : [producing a toaster] Ordinary household toaster.
Peter Venkman : We'll take your word for that.
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Egon : [Looking at Pictures of Vigo that Peter took earlier] We were right, Ray. Multi-palaner kirilian emanations.
Ray : [getting another picture] Yeah, well here is your next month's cover of GQ, check out the aura on this sucker. Now there is definitely a living presence there.
Egon : We should get a deeper look.
Ray : Why not I run this wider shot through the spectral analyzer?
Egon : Good, I'll try turning up the Roentgens.
[Puts a picture into the spectrogram, now talks about dinner]
Ray : So, what do you think, Chinese?
Egon : Uh, how about Thai?
Ray : Nah, too spicy. Greek?
Egon : Uh, Mexican?
Ray : Pizza?
Egon : Thin or thick?
Ray : Chicago.
Egon : [Takes out a picture of Vigo] What the hell is that?
[picks up his giant maginfying glass]
Ray : I know what it is.
[Unbeknownst to Ray and Egon, the door is suddenly locked]
Ray : I've seen this before.
Egon : Where?
Ray : Remember when you had me dangling like a worm on a hook 100 feet below 1st Avenue?
[Shows the slime on the picture]
Ray : That's the river of slime.
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Ray : [after getting off of the phone with Peter] Spengler. A major slime-related psychokinetic event.
Egon : What happened?
Ray : Something came out of Dana's bathtub, tried to grab her and the baby.
Egon : Are they all right?
Ray : Yeah, she got out of there and went over to Venkman's.
Egon : This is interesting, Ray. Remember that Vigo character Peter mentioned? Look what came up
[Goes to his computer and types up Vigo's profile]
Ray : Nice ugly history. Do you think there's a connection to this Vigo character and the...
[Looks at the slime which is still bubbling]
Ray : slime?
Egon : Is the atomic weight of colbalt 58.9?
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Judge Wexler : [At the Ghostbusters' trial] Before we begin this trial, I want to make one thing very clear: The law does not recognize the existence of ghosts, and I don't believe in them either. So I don't wanna hear a lot of malarkey about goblins, spooks, and demons. We're gonna stick to the facts in this case. Leave the ghost stories to the kiddies, understood?
Winston : Wow. Sounds like a pretty open-minded guy, huh?
Egon : Yeah, they call him "The Hammer."
Ray : What can we do? It's all in the hands of our lawyer now.
Louis Tully : I think you guys are making a big mistake. I do mostly tax law and some probate stuff occasionally. I got my law degree at night school.
Ray : Well, that's fine, Louis. We got arrested at night.
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Peter Venkman : [the Ghostbusters enters the museum's restoration room] All right, suck in the guts, guys. We're the Ghostbusters.
[they breathe in]
Janosz : [approaches the four; claps] No! No, please go! You...
Ray : Who's this wiggler?
Peter Venkman : He's yours, Ray. Sic him.
Janosz : [to Peter] I have discuss things with you. Now I...
Ray : Hi, how are you? Ray Stantz from the Ghostbusters. Nice to see you. Beautiful lab you have here.
Janosz : Can I tell what I told your friend?
Ray : We're just doing a routine spook check.
Janosz : Eh, Dr. Venkman, Dana is not here.
Peter Venkman : Yeah, we know that, Johnny.
Janosz : So why are you came?
Peter Venkman : Well, we got a report there was a major creep in the area. We checked our list and you were right on the top. Johnny, where the hell are you from anyway?
Janosz : The Upper West Side.
Egon : The whole room's extremely hot, Peter.
Janosz : Hot?
Winston : [notices the painting of Vigo] Ooh, that's one ugly dude.
Peter Venkman : Oh, that's Vigo. Mr. Vigo?
Janosz : Uh...
Peter Venkman : [starts to take pictures of Vigo] Vigs, would you look this way, please?
Janosz : Please. No, don't. No, no!
Peter Venkman : Come on, show me something.
Janosz : No! No photographs, please! Slides are available in the Gift Shop, eh?
[Winston pulls Janosz out of the way; Janosz yells]
Peter Venkman : Yeah, thanks. Thank you, Winston.
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Egon : Send in the puppy.
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Judge Wexler : You got to do something!
Egon : Why don't you just tell them you don't believe in ghost?
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[TV Commercial]
Egon : With our special half price service plan.
Peter Venkman : What? Hold on. Half Price? Have we all gone mad?
Ray : I guess so, Pete. Because that's not all. Tell them, Egon.
Egon : Oh, you mean the Ghostbusters hot beverage thermal mug and free balloons for the kids.
Egon , Peter Venkman , Ray , Winston : Ghoooooostbusters!
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Louis Tully : [TV Commercial] What is it, honey?
Janine Melnitz : It's that darn ghost again. He just won't leave us alone. I guess we're just going to have to move.
Louis Tully : No, wait! Don't worry. We're not moving.
[picks up the phone]
Louis Tully : He is!
Janine Melnitz : Who are you going to call?
Egon , Peter Venkman , Ray , Winston : Ghostbusters.
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Peter Venkman : It's been a couple of years since we used this stuff. I hope it still works.
Egon : It should. The power cells have a half life of 5,000 years.
Ray : There's no time for a bench test. Heat 'em up!
Peter Venkman : [singing] Dooooo... .
Ray : Reeee... ..
Egon : Egon... .
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Ray : It responds to music. So, we've been doing some experimentation, playing easy listening, middle of the road type stuff. You know, Paul Young, "Dust in the Wind," that works okay...
Peter Venkman : Works for me.
Egon : Loves Jackie Wilson.
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[last lines]
Winston : Hey, fellas. You want to take a look at this?
Ray : Wow.
Egon : Early Renaissance, I think. Raphael or Piero della Francesca.
Peter Venkman : No. I believe it's one of the Fettuccine's.
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Egon : We're running out of time, Ray.
Winston : [to Ray] Can't you go any faster?
Ray : I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces.
[to Egon]
Ray : You should've padded her feet.
Egon : I don't think they make Nike's in her size, Ray.
Peter Venkman : Oh, don't worry. She's tough. She's a harbor chick!
[the animated Statue of Liberty crushes an NYPD squad car, shocking the paradegoers]
Ray : Sorry! My fault!
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Janosz : Four minutes to go, and then, party times!
[the evil soul of Vigo the Carpathian is about to possess Oscar, Dana Barrett's child]
Dana : [horrified] Oscar...
[Dana attempts to grab the baby, but Janosz pushes her back]
Janosz : [excited] It's happening. It's really happening!
[Just as the possession is nearly completed, the Ghostbusters, in the animated Statue of Liberty, appears. The slime barrier starts to partially recede from the glass ceiling; Janosz is frustrated]
Janosz : Wha- No. Go! No, go away from here!
[Dana successfully grabs Oscar, thus stopping Vigo from possessing the baby]
Janosz : Go away!
[Outside, the partygoers are cheering in excitement as Ray pilots the statue's torch]
Peter Venkman : I love it when you roughhouse!
Egon : Hit it, mama!
Ray : DROP THE HAMMER ON HER!
Winston : Go! Do it!
[the torch smashes through the glass ceiling as Janosz watches in shock and frustration; the rappel cords are thrown from the crown]
Dana : Oh, Oscar, look!
Janosz : Go away!
