Northern Exposure (1990–1995)
Rob Morrow: Dr. Joel Fleischman, Franz Kafka, Mikhail
Photos
Quotes
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Maurice Minnifield : Do you know what the motto of the state of Alaska is, Joel?
Dr. Joel Fleischman : "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"?
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : Yesterday he was a beauty. Today he's a dead animal in the back of a truck.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : Life here is so elemental. So real. Without the interference of civilization you can really experience things like... silence. Silence and darkness in its purity. Right now, right outside my window all I can see is a black void. Endless darkness. It's totally exhilarating, and I feel very lucky to be here. Very, very lucky.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : I have an assistant here who thinks it's unnecessary to take names. She'd rather run my office like a delicatessen.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : Chris is ordained?
Maggie : He answered a classified on the back of Rolling Stone.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : What kind of a person would abandon a baby like this?
Ed Chigliak : Oh, my parents.
Dr. Joel Fleischman : Oh yeah. Right. Sorry.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : Yeah I'm upset. Ya wanna know why, Ed? I'll tell you. As a physician, I realize that sexual release is not crucial to survival, say like water or oxygen. But when a healthy 28-year-old male is deprived of that release, he has an awful hard time enjoying his survival.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : I'll make you a deal. I'll give you a complete physical, head to toe, then you leave and never darken my doorstep again.
Eve : Blood gasses?
Dr. Joel Fleischman : Blood gasses.
Eve : Cholesterol infraction?
Dr. Joel Fleischman : I'll even throw in an EEG.
Eve : Deal.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : [picking up a book from Adam's kitchen table] "The California Cookbook?"
Adam : [becomes upset] You wanna die? Is that what you want?
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : The only consequence of all this will be, that whenever I open a nice Bordeaux, there will be the distant, distasteful memory of a nutcase who tried to kill me because I allowed her to kiss me on the cheek under false pretenses. I can live with it.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : I have ZERO desire to go native.
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Maurice Minnifield : Tell him that Dr. Fleischman is the kind of enterprising, young professional who's chosen to stake his claim right here on the banks of the Alaskan Riviera.
Dr. Joel Fleischman : Tell him I'm being held against my will.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : I'm not a vanishing breed.
Ed Chigliak : Well, you're Jewish. That's pretty rare.
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[Ed and Joel are looking for Maggie in the wilderness]
Ed Chigliak : There, her jacket.
Dr. Joel Fleischman : Well, now what?
Ed Chigliak : [pointing] Well, I think she went this way.
Dr. Joel Fleischman : You do?
Ed Chigliak : Yep, see there where that twig snapped? And there's a footprint.
Dr. Joel Fleischman : Huh. You can track? Alright! You learn that or were you born that way?
Ed Chigliak : Beats me.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : [Joel's postcard to Maggie] New York is a state of mind.
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[Joel on chess]
Dr. Joel Fleischman : This is considered a spectator sport? I've had more fun watching slush melt.
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[to Jules, on changing identites for a day]
Dr. Joel Fleischman : I'm very happy with myself. I have no need to go slumming in your persona.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : This guy couldn't tell the difference between a migraine and a subdural hematoma!
[Joel reads about a classmate in posh circumstances]
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : She gave me a goat? A nice bottle of wine I'd understand. A box of chocolates, a Rolex. What do I want with a goat? Milk.
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : I don't like it! I hate it, and I demand to leave!... Well that is because you are not the one who is supposed to spend the next 4 years of his life in this Godforsaken hole in the wall, pigsty with a bunch of dirty, psychotic rednecks!
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Dr. Joel Fleischman : I mean don't get me wrong! I don't believe in blind obedience to the law! In my time, I've ignored stop signs, I've jaywalked, I've had open fires on Jones Beach. But this... this is the U.S. Mail. And since I was old enough to lick a stamp, I was taught that it's a sin to so much as to hold someone's letter up to the light! I was inculcated with the sanctity, the inviolability of the mail.
