A young woman discovers that she is the focus of an evil Nazi experiment involving selective breeding and summoned elves, an attempt to create a race of supermen. She and two of her friends...
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Title: Elves (1989)
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Cast
| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Dan Haggerty | ... | Mike McGavin | |
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Julie Austin | ... | Kirsten |
| Deanna Lund | ... | Kirsten's Mother | |
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Borah Silver | ... | Kirsten's Grandfather |
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Mansell Rivers-Bland | ... | Rubinkreuz |
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Christopher Graham | ... | Willy |
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Laura Lichstein | ... | Brooke |
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Stacey Dye | ... | Amy |
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Winter Monk | ... | Kurt |
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Jeff Austin | ... | Emil |
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Allen Lee | ... | Dr. Fitzgerald |
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Paul Rohrer | ... | Professor O'Conner |
| Ken Carpenter | ... | Shaver | |
| Michael Tatlock | ... | Hugh Reed | |
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Michael Herst | ... | Sgt. DeSoto |
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Plot Summary
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Storyline
A young woman discovers that she is the focus of an evil Nazi experiment involving selective breeding and summoned elves, an attempt to create a race of supermen. She and two of her friends are trapped in a department store with an elf, and only Dan Haggerty, as the renegade loose-cannon Santa Claus, can save them. Written by Martin Moretti <moretti@master.ceat.okstate.edu>
Plot Keywords:
father daughter incest | pet cat | incestuous rape | perverted boy | female protagonist |Taglines:
They don't work for Santa anymore!Genres:
HorrorParents Guide:
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Willy: Yeah, you've got fucking big tits and I'm going to tell everybody I saw them.
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Did You Know?
Trivia
Featured on episode 14 of Red Letter Media's Best of the Worst series. See more »Goofs
When Mike McGavin asks the librarian about books on the occult, he is referred to section "666". In an American library, which uses Dewey Decimal Classification, books on parapsychology and the supernatural would be reserved in 130. 666 is actually for ceramic and allied technologies. See more »Quotes
Kirsten: [after catching her brother spying on her] I'm your fucking sister.Willy: Yeah, you've got fucking big tits and I'm going to tell everybody I saw them.
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Details
Country:
USALanguage:
EnglishRelease Date:
24 October 1989 (USA) See more »Also Known As:
Elves See more »Company Credits
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No doubt about it, this is one piece of cinematic crap if there ever was one. But, it is likable in several respects. One, Dan Haggerty, he of golden mane (is it gold from all the cigarettes he smokes?) and large belly and beard. Two, the Elf doll is hilariously cheesy. It is like watching someone play with a toy. The thing must only have like one moving part. Three, the dialog is hilarious and the acting is horrendous. As a so bad its funny film, its definitely worth wasting an hour and a half on. But beyond that, this is really crappy. Even as a so bad its funny schlockfest, it could have been much better. It gets bogged down in an absurd conspiracy story about Nazis and the fourth Reich, so on. Although this retarded back story results in a great scene where a professor explains to Marlboro Man Haggerty ( actually they were Camels) the history of Nazis and elves at his Christmas dinner table. The name is false, as well, as there is only one elf.