Herman's Head (1991–1994)

Hank Azaria: Jay Nichols

Quotes 

• Herman Brooks : Jay, there are certain occasions when its better not to think about having sex with someone.

  Jay Nichols : Sure there are. Family reunions.

• Jay Nichols : Oh, boy. Whenever I meet a girl's father, it's always the same story. First, he offers me money not to see her.

  Herman Brooks : Yeah? Then what happens?

  Jay Nichols : I take the money.

• Jay Nichols : Can you believe this party? Never seen so many things I wanna put in my mouth at one time.

• Herman Brooks : Rebecca Woods. She was the most beautiful freshman on campus.

  Jay Nichols : Did ya bag her?

  Herman Brooks : Jay, I don't "bag" women.

  Jay Nichols : I'm sorry. Did ya nail her?

• [Herman's apartment has been robbed] 

  Herman : Look at what they did to my apartment! Someone is going to pay for this.

  Jay : I think it's going to be you, Herm.

• [speaking of his impotence] 

  Herman : I'm having a little trouble..."hoisting my mainsail."

  Jay : You have a boat?

• Jay Nichols : Hey, as long as there are illegal aliens who want citizenship, Jay Nichols will have a date.