Problem Child 2 (1991)
John Ritter: Ben Healy
Photos
Quotes
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[after Junior shows the town a video of his babysitter and her boyfriend having sex]
Ben Healey : Junior, we're new here! Can't we at least attempt to fit in?
Junior Healey : What are you getting onto me for? I didn't do anything. I just watched it.
Ben Healey : Yes, and so did the entire neighborhood.
Junior Healey : I didn't hear any complaints.
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Ben Healey : Junior, 3rd grade is the foundation of a great education. If you don't go, you'll only hurt yourself.
Junior Healy : I'm sure I'll take a few others down with me.
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Ben Healy : Junior's getting worse, we can't even figure out what he did to that dog!
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[Problem Child 2 is edit for TV broadcast on NBC]
Junior : Dad, can we go? These people are total idiots.
Aron Burger : Well, excuse me, Your Highness. I didn't realize that simple little me and my simple little family weren't good enough for your high and mighty tastes. Hey, maybe I should go and slip on my silk tuxedo and then we can trot out the champagne and the escargots.
Ben Healy : Junior. Try to be polite. We're his guests.
Junior : OK, Dad.
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[Problem Child 2 edit for TV on NBC with the best modified version. The first day at Mortville school in fall]
Ben Healy : Junior, now you get out of this car. You are going to school!
Junior : I'd rather jump off a cliff.
Ben Healy : Junior, 3rd grade is the foundation of a great education. If you don't go, you'll only hurt yourself.
Junior : I'll take a couple others down with me.
Ben Healy : Junior, I am your father and you'll do as I say! Now, come on.
[Ben ripped the front seat off the car and help Junior get out. Ben wins]
Junior : Now look what you've done.
Ben Healy : Get over here.
[Give this a slip to Junior]
Ben Healy : Take this. Goodbye and good luck.
[Now he's head off to the first day at school]
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Junior : Now, where is that surprise?
Ben Healy : Surprise!
Rhoda : Hi, Junior! I'm Rhoda, your babysitter. We're gonna be good friends.
Junior : Dad, let's slow this down a minute. Now, what is going on here?
Ben Healy : This is Rhoda, your babysitter. You're gonna be good friends.
Junior : Yeah, I heard that part. But why?
Debbie Claukinski : Yoo-hoo!
Ben Healy : Because I'm going out on a date.
Debbie Claukinski : Hi, Ben.
Ben Healy : Hi.
Debbie Claukinski : I'm all ready.
Ben Healy : Great. Junior, you remember Debbie Claukinski?
Junior : How can I forget? Her pie gave us the rash!
Ben Healy : That's - That's not true.
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Waiter : [the waiter is forcibly pushing Ben, Annie, Junior, and Trixie out of the restaurant after the food fight] Keep it moving! Come on, let's go!
Ben Healy : Hey, hey, quit pushing. It wasn't out fault. I got hit in the head with an egg.
Waiter : Just get out of here and you can never come back to Pizzarific again!
Ben Healy : [sarcastically] Oh, that's a big loss.
Annie Young : [throws a leftover olive in the waiter's direction] Yeah, we said no olives.
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Ben Healy : Junior, you failed me!
Junior : But, Dad, I swear, she hates me!
Ben Healy : We had a deal and you let me down!
Junior : She's different from all the others! Lawanda is bad!
Ben Healy : Junior, you think all woman are bad! That poor woman has done nothing, but good intentions! She made us dinner tonight, and this is how you pay her? I am really disappointed in you. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust you again.
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Ben Healy : Junior, why do you do these things to me? I thought we moved here to start over. People told me that you were a problem child, I said they were wrong. I said you just needed a chance to succeed. We don't have a normal life, especially me. I can't even go out on a date without something terrible happening.
Junior : Well, maybe you shouldn't go out.
Ben Healy : Junior, just because I interact with another human being doesn't mean that I love you any less. Can't you see that?
Junior : Well, I suppose.
Ben Healy : Suppose? All right, that's a start. That's what we can build on that. I'll tell you what, I'll make a deal. I promise you that I'll always be there for you, but you've gotta promise me that you're going to be good from now on.
Junior : Okay, I promise.
Ben Healy : See? That was a little too fast, "Okay, I promise." You got to think about it. It's not just an empty promise. This is a pact between you and me to regain some of the trust we used to have, okay? So, what do you say? Are you gonna improve so that I can be right when I brag about you to all my friends and tell them that I got the greatest kid there ever was?
Junior : Sure. I'll be better.
Ben Healy : Thataboy.
