Stay Tuned (1992)

Pam Dawber: Helen Knable

Photos 

Quotes 

• [as cartoon mice] 

  Roy Knable : Boy, this is strange!

  Helen Knable : Strange? I'm an animated rodent wearing high-heel running shoes. The word "strange" is somehow lacking.

• Helen Knable : Dynamite. He's going to hit me with a train AND blow me up? ROY!

• [Roy and Helen Knable, as cartoon mice, push a hair dryer towards a water-filled tub to electrocute Robocat] 

  Helen Knable : [to viewers]  Kids, don't try this at home.

• Helen Knable : Where's my husband?

  Murray Seidenbaum : What are you worried about him for? I ditched my wife five channels ago. She happened to meet the business end of a fifty-ton reptile. And I can tell you, I don't exactly miss dried meat loaf.

• [Helen and Roy Knable, are cornered by one of the wolves] 

  Roy Knable : Jump.

  Helen Knable : Jump?

  Roy Knable : Wherever it leads can't be any worse than this! Go!

  [Helen jumps into that conduit. Roy tries to jump there as well, but he doesn't fit through that hole. He makes that hole bigger, and wolves approach him. Roy finally falls through that conduit before the wolves could get him] 

  Roy Knable : [falling]  Yeow!

  [Roy lands in a cartoon, as a cartoon mouse] 

  Roy Knable : Umph!

  Helen Knable : [also as a cartoon mouse]  Couldn't be any worse, huh, Roy?

  Roy Knable : Helen? Oh, my god!

  [he looks at and holds up his tail] 

  Roy Knable : We're cartoons.

• [Roy and Helen Knable are cartoon mice] 

  Roy Knable : For a mouse, you, um, look pretty sexy.

  Helen Knable : Too bad you didn't like the way I looked when I was human.

  Roy Knable : I always did.

  Helen Knable : News to me.

• Helen Knable : [to Roy]  You wanted to live in a TV fantasy? Well, you got your wish.

• Helen Knable : How can you even think of eating doughnuts at a time like this?

  Roy Knable : What should I do, look for some oat bran? I'm starved.

• [Darryl Knable transmits his voice through the HVTV dish to the set of Off With His Head] 

  Darryl Knable : Dad, can you hear me?

  Roy Knable : Darryl? My God!

  One of the infidels : God?

  Helen Knable : Yes! It's... God!

• [Helen Knable and Roy Knable, who in turn is holding a remote, are about to get hit by a train] 

  Helen Knable : Roy, what do you do when you want the TV to go away? You turn it...

  Helen Knable , Roy Knable : [together]  Off!

• One of those soldiers : Mon cherie, you inflame me.

  Roy Knable : [in a woman's voice]  I never kiss on the first date.

  One of those soldiers : Eh?

  Roy Knable : Naughty boy.

  [hits the solder in the chest] 

  Helen Knable : This has been a kick fellas, but we gotta go.

  The other of those soldiers : No, No! Come back here, sweetheart.

  Roy Knable : [Woman's voice]  Hey you keep your hands off her!

  One of those soldiers : [Noticing Roy's fake wig]  You hair is so beautiful. May I have a lock of it?

  Roy Knable : [Solder pulls wig off Roy; Roy gasps]  Why don't you keep the whole thing?

• Roy Knable : [Roy and Helen are the stars of "Off With His Head", a miniseries set during the French Revolution where Roy's character is an enemy of the people, and forced to don drag to escape the guillotine]  Well, we've always wanted to go to Paris.

  Helen Knable : In the 20th Century.

  Roy Knable : As long as we're here we might as well make the best of it.

  Helen Knable : Make the best of it! This is the French Revolution. People are trying to kill you in case you hadn't noticed.

  Roy Knable : Helen, if we ever get out of this things will be different from now on, I promise. I'm not just going to be a watcher. I'm going to be the man I was when we first got married.

  Helen Knable : You weren't blonde then and you wore a lot less makeup.

• Spike : [on the set of HV One (News)]  This just in... Helen Knable has been kidnapped and taken to Channel 1. We take you there live.

  Helen Knable : [tied to a wagon on railroad tracks]  Roy, I don't know where you are, but get your butt back here!

  Spike : Unfortunately, her gutless failure of a husband won't lift a finger to save her. Isn't that right, Roy?

  Roy Knable : No.

• Helen Knable : You sadistic bastard!

  Spike : Runs in the family! My father was an oil company president.

• Guy Squirly : Do you know the rules of our game?

  Helen Knable : [not sure where she is]  What game?

• Helen Knable : Let me get this straight. We've been sucked into some kind of TV world?

  Roy Knable : Are you saying that that salesman was...

  Crowley : Mr. Spike - Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, big brother to the ungrateful dead.

• Helen Knable : [to Roy]  Oh, you'll get us out? Your leadership skills couldn't get us out of a T-shirt!

• [two French revolutionary soldiers approach Helen and Roy Knable] 

  One of those soldiers : You are both under arrest!

  Helen Knable : For what?

  The other of those soldiers : For being too beautiful and without proper escort.

• [Roy Knable and Spike are about to have a showdown] 

  Spike : Make your move, tinhorn.

  [They stare at each other for quite a few seconds] 

  Helen Knable : [still tied to a wagon on railroad tracks and to be hit by a train eventually]  Today, Roy!

• Helen Knable : Leave him alone you bitch! Aggh! I apologize. You're probably not really a bitch. Roy get up!

  [the ogress woman wrestler accidentally punches the ogre man wrestlers face] 

• Helen Knable : Roy.

  Roy Knable : What happened?

  Helen Knable : We won. Or rather I won.

  [the referee holds both Roy and Helens arms up as the crowd cheers. Then a TV portal appears on the ring floor behind them] 

  Helen Knable : Alright you won too.

  Roy Knable : Damn right. And your success does not threaten me.

  Helen Knable : It does too!

  [Then Roy and Helen falls in the TV portal] 

• Darryl Knable : Mom, you know my friend, Billy Stephen?

  Helen Knable : [nods her head]  Mmm-hmm?

  Darryl Knable : Well, his dad moved out for a while, then his parents went away and sat in a hot tub all weekend. When they got back, Billy's dad moved back in and things were all better.

  Helen Knable : Did you and your sister plan this? So that your dad and I could be alone?

  [Darryl lowers his head with a smile on his face]