The Beverly Hillbillies (1993)

Lea Thompson: Laura Jackson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Laura Jackson : What a stupid idiot.

  Jed Clampett : Did you say something, ma'am?

  Laura Jackson : What a stupendous intellect.

  Jethro : That's cause I "grad-ge-ated" the sixth grade, ma'am. Only took three years.

• [Talking about Laura "getting married" to Jed Clampett] 

  Woodrow Tyler : You're not going to sleep with him, are you?

  Laura Jackson : That's not your problem.

  Woodrow Tyler : Good! Laura, I've got my hand on your butt. (Laura disconnects the line) Hold on! I've got someone on call waiting. (disconnects the line) Hello! Hello! (gets back on previous line) It was nobody! Anyways, I've got my hand on your butt and I'm squeezing.

  Mr. Drysdale : Tyler, get your hand off my butt.

• Laura Jackson : [in mock French accent]  Some women will search for many years before they find 'a-PEE-ness.

  Jed Clampett : [startled]  *what?*

  Laura Jackson : 'a-PEE-ness.

  Jed Clampett : Oh... happiness!

• Reverend Mason : Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in case of an emergency, oxygen masks will fall from the overhead compartment. Your seat cushion can be used as a floatin' device. Thus sayeth the Lord.

  Jed Clampett : Excuse me, Reverend, but I believe you're reading the airplane safety instructions.

  Laura Jackson : May we skip this part?

• [Laura and Tyler are escaping the wedding before she gets an idea] 

  Laura Jackson : Tyler! Let's set up the computer and push the button. If I can't have their money, nobody should!

  [Tyler makes space on a nearby table and begins furiously typing] 

  Laura Jackson : We'll send their billion bucks bouncing around so many banks, they'll never find it.

  Woodrow Tyler : [to Laura]  It's all set! All I have to do is push this button. Ha-ha!

  [to Jed's relatives] 

  Woodrow Tyler : You rustic, nose-picking, inbred yokels! You're all about to be poor again.

  Miss Jane Hathaway : Think again!

  [Wielding a shotgun, Hathaway blows the computer into pieces]