Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Pierce Brosnan: Stuart Dunmeyer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. Doubtfire : Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics?

  Stu : Mrs. Doubtfire, please.

  Mrs. Doubtfire : Oh I'm sorry, am I being a little graphic? I'm sorry. Well, I hope you're up for a little competition. She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her own personal jackhammer. She could break sidewalk with that thing. She uses it and the lights dim, it's like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth.

• Stu : [about Daniel]  What can I say, Ron? The guy's a loser. See ya.

  Mrs. Doubtfire : Loser? Oh, yeah.

  [Takes a lime and throws it at Stu's head. Stu looks back, angry] 

  Mrs. Doubtfire : Oh, sir. I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff, Did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting. I'll get them, sir. Don't worry.

• [at the pool] 

  Stu : Your day's on me, Mrs Doubtfire. Anything you need, just put on my tab, okay?

  Mrs. Doubtfire : Oh, thank you, dear.

  [Stu leaves] 

  Mrs. Doubtfire : Touch me again, and I'll drown you.

• Stu : People change, Ron. I'm pushing 40. I don't want to spend the rest of my life by myself.

  Ron : She's got an awful lot of baggage, though. Three kids?

  Stu : Three terrific kids, and I'm crazy about them, especially that little Natalie. Look at her. She's a sweetie pie. God knows they need some kind of stable father figure in their life right now.

  Ron : What about their real father?

  Stu : What can I say, Ron? The guy's a loser.

• Mrs. Doubtfire : Can you help me with something, I found this outside.

  [holds up Mercedes hood ornament] 

  Stu : Uh, yes, this is off my, uh, Mercedes.

  Mrs. Doubtfire : Off your Mercedes, dear, you own that big expensive car out there? Oh, dear. Well, they say a man who has to buy a big car like that is trying to compensate for smaller genitals.

• Maitre D' : Smoking or non-smoking?

  Stu : Non-smoking.

  Mrs. Doubtfire : Smoking!

• Stu : [asking the family if they'd like to go in the pool]  How about you, Mrs. Doubtfire?

  Mrs. Doubtfire : Oh, you wicked, wicked man! Isn't there enough flesh here to feast your eyes on?

  Stu : Oh, come now, Mrs. Doubtfire, don't be bashful.

  Mrs. Doubtfire : Oh, no, dear. I think they've outlawed whaling.