Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Bob Hoskins: Mario Mario

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Sergeant Simon : Name.

  Mario : Mario.

  Sergeant Simon : Last name.

  Mario : Mario.

  Sergeant Simon : And you?

  Luigi : Luigi.

  Sergeant Simon : Luigi Luigi?

  Luigi : No, Luigi Mario.

  Sergeant Simon : Okay how many Marios are there between the two of you?

  Luigi : Three: Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.

• [In the police car, a wanted poster of Luigi and Mario flashes on a TV screen naming them Alien Plumbers] 

  Luigi Mario : Aliens? We gotta deal with aliens too?

  Mario Mario : Luigi, *we're* the aliens.

  Luigi Mario : We are? Wow, cool.

• Mario Mario : Excuse me, do you know where we are?

  Pedestrian : Yeah, you're in my way.

• [Mario and Luigi survey Dinohattan] 

  Mario Mario : This can't be Manhattan.

  Luigi Mario : I don't know, I haven't been to Manhattan in a couple weeks.

  Mario Mario : Must have been a bad couple of weeks.

• Mario : What single-celled organism did *you* evolve from?

  King Koopa : [indicates an evolution chart of a dinosaur becoming a man]  Tyrannosaurus Rex, the lizard king, thank you very much.

• [the Marios try to escape in a police car] 

  Mario : Where's the starter on this thing?

  Luigi : I got a feeling about this, Marioroni...

  [figures out the strange controls to start the car] 

  Mario : How do you know how to do that?

  Luigi : Cuz I been sitting on my butt all day playing video games, that's what.

• Daniella : [extra-quietly]  Okay, don't say anything, but my boyfriend, Mario, is right up there.

  Angelica : [looks up and sees Mario]  What?

  Mario : SHH!

  Angelica : HEY! MARIO! He'll get us outta here!

• Luigi : It is an honor to meet you sir, and a pleasure, and I just wanna thank you for all your help.

  Mario : Come on, Luigi. You'll be talking to the mildew in the shower next.

• Mario : Turn left here.

  [Luigi turns right] 

  Mario : LEFT. I SAID LEFT.

• Luigi : [after learning that Daisy was abandoned as an infant]  You mean you don't know who your mother and father neither?

  Princess Daisy : No. What do you mean, "neither"?

  Luigi : Cuz, you see, Mario here brought me up. He's been like my mother my whole life.

  Mario : Hey!

  Luigi : [laughing]  Ok, ok, my father, all right? And my uncle, cousin, and everybody.

• Mario : Everybody's got tap water! 3 bucks!

• Luigi : Wow, you mean there were dinosaurs here in Brooklyn?

  Mario : Relax, Luigi. There used to be Dodgers here too.

• Mario : How we gonna get in there? I got two words for you: Im-possible.

  Luigi : Nothing's impossible, Mario. Improbable, Unlikely, but never impossible.

  Mario : I hope you're right.

• Mario : [drives towards a fork]  Which way?

  Luigi : Take the parkway!

  Mario : Right!

  [drives into a tunnel instead] 

  Luigi : [smiles]  Perfect, perfect.

  Mario : You said the parkway!

  Luigi : I know, but I wanted the tunnel, so I said parkway cuz I knew you'd go the opposite way I suggested! Ha!

• Toad : Say, what's another word that rhymes with dimension?

  Mario : Yeah, tension, and I'm full of it so shut up.

• [last lines] 

  Princess Daisy : [enters with combat fatigues and a big gun]  Luigi! Mario!

  Luigi : Daisy!

  Princess Daisy : You guys gotta come with me! I need your help!

  Luigi : Why, what's wrong?

  Princess Daisy : [cradles her gun and smiles]  You're not gonna believe *this*.

  Mario : I believe it.

  Luigi : You do?

  Mario : [chuckles]  I believe.

• Cop : [sees the Marios' tool belts]  Aha! Plumbers!

  Luigi : No, he is! I'm just apprenticing!

  Cop : Get in the car!

  Luigi : But I didn't do nothin'!

  Cop : Get in the car now!

  Mario : Are you tellin' us that you can arrest a guy for being a plumber? Get outta here!

  Cop : Get in there, plumber! Now!

  Cop : [shoves the Marios and Toad into the squad car] 

  Mario : Hey! What is this?

  Luigi : All right. What'd we do?

  Mario : I'm gettin' arrested for bein' a plumber!

  Luigi : Write his number down!

• Luigi : Hey, Mario! Right now on "Miraculous World", this guy just found out he was in another dimension.

  Mario : The only thing miraculous *I* know is that we're still eating while we're going broke.

  Luigi : We aint going broke, Mario, we're already there!

• [the Marios see that their job is taken already] 

  Mario : Scapelli. They beat us to it again! Another lost job!

• [Mario and Luigi are chasing after Spike and Iggy as they drag Daisy through the entrance to Dinohatten] 

  Luigi : I'm gonna kill 'em!

  Mario : No, you're not gonna kill 'em, not if I get there first. I'm gonna break every bone in their body, and *then* I'm gonna kill 'em. I'm *really* gonna kill 'em!

• Mario , Luigi : Glug glug glug glug glug!

• Mario : Great, a building with athlete's foot.

• Mario : Strap your belt on, kid. We're going in!

• Mario : [trying to get a dance with Big Bertha]  Hey, the name's Mario. I'm your main man, your ram-a-dame, your can of spam...

  Bertha : [punches him and laughs] 

  Mario : [second try]  Excuse me. Will you hit me again? I've never seen such fluidity. The way your knuckles crunched as you smashed 'em into my face.

  Bertha : [grabs him by the jacket]  Dance with me. I'll hit you all you like.

• Mario : Hey! You must be the girls - the missing girls from Brooklyn!

  Daniella : Yeah, except for Angelica. She's from Queens, but she's all right.

  Angelica : Hey! I'm freezin' my butt off here! There's cold air comin' from that air vent.

  Mario : Yeah. We froze the pipes. We're goin' for a little ride.

• Mario : If you 2 don't start talkin' we're gonna leave ya to these guys... for lunch.

  Luigi : Now, where's Daisy?

  Spike : No, no, no, no. Where's the rock, Scalywag?

  Luigi : Where's Daisy, Butt-Breath?

  Iggy : Where's the rock, Overweaning-Rogue?

  Luigi : Not till ya give us Daisy, Biscuit-Head!

  Spike : WHERE IS THE ROCK?

  Mario : SHUT UP!

• Luigi : [sees another Bob-Omb hanging on the fungus]  Look! Look! Look, another one!

  [a few Goombas enter the scene] 

  Luigi : Wait, wait, wait, wait, Mario. I think it wants me to take it.

  Mario : Stop fiddlin' with the fungus, and let's get outta here!

• [Entering the Boom Boom Bar] 

  Luigi : Isn't this a little bit feminine?

  Iggy : Yes, I know. It was my ex wife's.

  Mario : But you wear this stuff?

  Spike : Yes. On occasion, we have a... date.

  Mario : Who do you date, a canary?

• Luigi : [driving]  I've heard sea turtles travel thousands of miles on their own.

  Mario : Not in New York traffic, they don't.

• Luigi : I think it's trying to communicate with us...

  Mario : Luigi, it's a mushroom!

• Toad : You boys ain't from around here, are you?

  Mario Mario , Luigi Mario : Brooklyn.

• Mario : Treat your tools like a friend. Keep 'em by you. Lever let 'em down, and they're always at your side.

  Luigi : Hey, Mario, how is it that for every situation that could possibly come up, you always got a saying about tools?

  Mario : I got 'em from Papa.

  Both : He got 'em from Grandpapa!

• [Luigi has managed to get a dinner date with Daisy, thanks to Mario's help] 

  Mario : What would you do without your big brother, huh?

  Luigi : I'd like to take a chance and find out.

  Mario : Oh come on!

  Luigi : I was just about to ask her that.

  Mario : You weren't about to ask her nothing! You were gonna let her go!

  Luigi : Now she's gonna think I'm a complete idiot.

  Mario : Come on, you'll impress her with your manners.

  Luigi : Well why'd you tell her that I suck my thumb, huh?

• Cop : You know the law, Toad!

  Mario : Hey, wait a minute, you can't arrest the guy for just singing a song.

  Cop : For anti-Koopa songs we can.

• Luigi : Wow, they were dinosaurs in Brooklyn?

  Mario : Relax, Luigi, there used to be Dodgers, here, too.

• Mario : No woman can resist the charm of a Mario.

• Mario : [looks at a newspaper]  Are you spendin' money on this stuff? Look at this!

  Luigi : Yeah, but that's got the article about the missing Brooklyn girls in it.

  Mario : Yeah? It's also got one on the scientist who turns brains into cheese.

  Luigi : Well, you don't know. It could happen.

  Mario : [laughs]  How could that possibly happen?

  Luigi : Anything's possible, Mario. You just gotta believe!

• Mario : Mario Brothers Plumbing, no leak too small.

• Daisy : How's Daniella? Is she all right?

  Mario : Daniella! I promised I'd take her to the roller derby.

  Daisy : You mean, you don't know?

  Mario : What?

  Daisy : She's in the Goomba barracks, on the 51st floor!

• Old Lady : Are you boys new in town?

  Mario : Listen, lady, we're looking for someone. And we're from Brooklyn.

  Old Lady : You know, boys, this is a really rough neighborhood. You really shouldn't be wandering around without a weapon.

  Mario : Yea.

  Old Lady : You got one?

  Luigi : ...No.

  Old Lady : ...All right...

  [brandishes a cattle-prod-like weapon] 

  Old Lady : [shouts]  Get 'em up, suckers!