Andaz Apna Apna (1994)
Viju Khote: Robert
Photos
Quotes
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Robert : Sir... everybody went to London... you didn't go along?
Teja : How could I? *cries* Police was looking for me after I murdered Munim Harishankar... on the other hand, I had taken a loan from Mogambo so his nephew Gogo was looking for me as well... You think I don't want to go to London? you think I don't have desires to see what London looks like?
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Bhalla : I have put a bomb in this bouquet of flowers which will explode exactly in 3 minutes! Go and put it in inside the hall
Robert : But sir if I put it... wouldn't the police think that I killed Raveena?
Bhalla : Relax Robert... I have put a card inside the bouquet which has TILLU'S name written on it... Ha Ha Ha!
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Robert : To kill Raveena... I have prepared this drink which is called "The Heavenly Drink" drinking which a person is instantly deported to Heaven
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Teja : [Showing Shehzad Khan and Viju Khote his poster as Ram Gopal Bajaj] Look up, recognize who I am !
Bhalla : Very smart. It seems you were quite sophisticated in your youth.
Teja : [laughing] Got deceived, didn't you. He's my twin brother. Ram Gopal Bajaj. I wasn't always Teja, I happen to be Shyam Gopal Bajaj. Ram-Shyam, Shyam-Ram.
Bhalla : How very interesting.
Teja : He happened to the apple of my old man's eyes. Don't know what medication had this scum fed him. Everybody thought of him as Lord Ram and me as the demon Ravan. From that very moment I pledged I'll get rid of my father as well.
[laughing in between]
Teja : By mistake I got rid of our accountant Hari Shankar instead. But actually it was a good thing to do, that fellow used to lecture too much on integrity
[starts laughing maniacally]
Teja : . For that reason, I served 10 years
[in a raging tone to the poster]
Teja : I was in jail for 10 years. And when I came out I saw the tables had turned. This scum had gone over to London and raised his worth from 10 million to 300 million.
Robert : So Sir, why didn't you go after him to London as well ?
Teja : [In a disappointed tone] How could I go to London ? Ever since I escaped prison, the cops are after me. That Mogambo had loaned me cash, his nephew wants repayment. What do you think I don't desire to see London !
Bhalla : How sad.
Teja : [In sudden delight] But from now on, our bad days are up in smoke.
[Referring to Raveena Tandon]
Teja : It's his girl after all.
[laughing]
Bhalla : [Delighted] Just one kill and a profit worth millions ! Mr. Teja, you leave this to me. I'll give get rid of him in a manner he wouldn't even realize he's dead.
Teja : [Skeptical due to previous experience with Shehzad Khan] But you'll be able be kill him ONLY when he returns back to India. But WHEN will he return is the question.
Robert : He will Sir. His daughters are here already, he'll follow them soon definitely.
Teja : [Hysteric] That's GREAT
[hits Viju Khote's shoulder with the poster multiple times in excitement]
Teja : . That's GREAT.
[In a sudden serious tone]
Teja : Kill his daughter.
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Teja : [after the failure of the first plot to kill Raveena Tandon] So you gentlemen want to say that because of those 2 slackers
[referring to Aamir Khan and Salman Khan]
Teja : you couldn't achieve your objective. It's nice.
[In a sudden monotonous tone thumping his chest]
Teja : My heartbeat has gone cold. If it continues this way, I think our cards would be set on the table.
Robert : Sorry Sir. It was a mistake by fault. Those 2 slackers are smarter than we think.
[Referring to Aamir Khan]
Robert : Particularly that short one... .
Bhalla : [Interrupting Viju Khote] Shut up Robert. Mr. Teja, you needn't worry about anything. Does the snorting of a rat ever bother a lion's slumber. According to my new plan... .
Teja : [Outraged and getting off the table shouting] PLAN ! Damn your plan.
[Standing at the window in background narration]
Teja : What kind of men have you got at your disposal Teja. They talk as if they are leopards and cheetahs but their brain is as functional as a donkey.
[Turning to Shehzad Khan and Viju Khote in anger]
Teja : This time I don't want any errors. Come back only if with the news of her death or I would be required to set your cards in place.
Bhalla : If you insist, should I bring the dead body alongside. Or should I bring her alive and kill her right in front of you.
Teja : [Sarcastically] Very smart.
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Teja : [after the second failed attempt to kill Raveena Tandon] I knew from the very beginning that such an incident would definitely occur. It's nice.
[Thumping his chest in a sudden deadpan tone]
Teja : Seems my heartbeat has gone cold.
Robert : Sorry Sir. It was a mistake by fault. Almost everything was going according to plan before those 2 slackers
[Referring to Aamir Khan and Salman Khan]
Robert : ...... .
Bhalla : [Interrupting Viju Khote] Shut up Robert. Mr. Teja, you needn't worry about anything. Once in the lion's den, how long can the prey survive. According to my plan... .
Teja : [Getting off the table in tears with background narration] What kind of men have you employed Teja ? Damn they wear suits worth over 10000 rupees but have a brain which doesn't even function upto 10 cents. Now is the time, you better start getting back on your feet or else your game will be set.
[Wiping his tears off and turning to Viju Khote and Shehzad Khan]
Teja : It's not worth your attempts, seems I'll have to set your cards in place first.
Bhalla : [With his new scheme] Like every year, there's a fun fair set to be conducted behind the hill. These 2 girls shall visit it definitely. This is where they shall be eliminated.
Teja : [In a sarcastic tone out of irritation] It's good, it's fine. But this time I'll accompany you both to the fair. I'll have to oversee the entire process. But what's to be done with the 2 slackers ?
Bhalla : They too are destined to die by my bare hands. As per the plan... ..
[Paresh Rawal bangs his head with his hands in frustration]
