True Lies (1994)

Bill Paxton: Simon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harry : [holding Simon at the edge of an aquaduct]  Son of a bitch, Did you think you can elude us forever, Carlos, huh?

  Simon : Hey, you got the wrong guy! My name's Simon! Just let me go. There's no need to kill me. I haven't seen your...

  [Harry and Gib remove their masks] 

  Simon : face. No, no, no I didn't see it, I didn't see it!

  [realizes that it is Harry] 

  Simon : Oh, it's you! Hey, you still interested in that 'Vette at all?

  Gib : Hey, Carlos? Game's over. Your career as an international terrorist is well documented.

  Simon : No...

  Gib : -Oh, yeah.

  Simon : No...

  Gib : Oh, yeah!

  Simon : No!

  Gib : OH, YEAH!

  Simon : No, I sell cars! That's all! C'mon, I'm not a terrorist. I'm actually a complete coward, if I ever saw a gun, I'd...

  Harry : [Harry takes his gun out and points it in Simon's face] 

  Simon : [Whining and pleading]  Oh God, no, please don't kill me. I'm not a spy. I'm nothing. I'm navel lint! I have to lie to women to get laid, and I don't score much. I got a little dick, it's pathetic!

  [Harry and Gib gave Simon a weird look, then Simon pees his pants] 

  Simon : Wha, uh, oh God. Would a spy pee himself, huh? Please, I'm not worth a bullet. Oh, mercy sir!

  Harry : [Disgusted]  Get the fuck out of here. Just go, just beat it.

  Simon : No, no, as soon as I turn, you're gonna shoot me! You're gonna shoot me, you're gonna shoot me, you're gonna shoot me!

  Gib : [Gib and Harry get into their van]  Get lost, dipshit.

  [fires a few rounds into the ground near Simon] 

• Simon : [trying to sell Harry a Corvette with Simon driving]  You see, it's not just a car. It's a total image. An identity you have to go for. This isn't some high-tech sports car. Tell you the truth, it doesn't even handle that great. But that's not the idea, is it? What are we talking about here? Pussy, right?

  Harry : [fake laughs]  Absolutely.

  Simon : Let's face it, Harry. The 'Vette gets 'em wet.

• Simon : [in a Chinese restaurant]  Did you read the papers yesterday?

  Helen Tasker : [whispers]  Yes.

  Simon : Sometimes a story's a mask for a covert operation. See "Two men killed in a restroom and two unidentified men in a running shootout ending at the Marriot."

  Helen Tasker : That was you.

  Harry Tasker : [listening to their conversation with Gib] 

  Simon : You see...

  Harry Tasker : [whispers to Gib]  That was me.

  Simon : You're very good. You recognize my style. You're a natural at this.

  Gib : The guy's a fake, man. He's taking credit for our moves.

  Helen Tasker : What happened?

  Simon : Hardly worth talking about. Two of them won't bother me again.

  Gib : Unbelievable!

  Helen Tasker : You chased one?

  Simon : Something came over me. I just had to nail this guy no matter what the risk. Pretty hairy. I thought he had me a couple of times. But I can't take credit.

  Helen Tasker : Why not?

  Simon : It's the training. It shapes you into a lethal instrument. You react in a microsecond without thinking.

  Gib : [laughing]  I'm startin' to like this guy.

  [Harry gives him a mean look] 

  Gib : [gets serious]  We still gotta kill him. That's a given. You know.

• Simon : [hitting on a woman at the party]  Here, let me pour you some more champaigne. I gotta keep up the waiter bit, these stakeouts can be a little tricky you know, you never know if things can explode to a life or death situation, just stay low and I'll contact you later. Maybe you should give me your tele...

  Harry : [puts his hand in Simon]  So, we meet again Carlos.

  Helen Tasker : [puts her lipstick case under Simon's chin]  Honey, I'm gonna do him right here.

  Harry : [proudly]  Go for it.

  Simon : Oh god.

  [pees in his pants] 

  Helen Tasker : Fear is not an option.

  [Simon runs out of the party nervously screaming] 

• Harry : [referring to Helen]  So who are you working on right now?

  Simon : I always got a few on the line. But there's this one chick I got right now. I got her panting like a dog. Its great.

  Harry : What does she do?

  Simon : Some sort of legal secretary. Married to some boring jerk.

  Harry : Married to some boring jerk.

  Simon : Aww, but she could be so hot if she wanted to. She's like all these babes, you get their pilot lit, they could suck start a leafblower. And she's got the most incredible body too and a pair of titties that make you wanna stand up and beg for buttermilk. Ass like a ten year old boy! AHAHAHAHA!

  Simon : [Harry punches him in the face instantly breaking Simon's neck and the daydream ends]  AHAHAHAHAHA!

• Simon : [leaning on Simon's corvette, having lunch]  Okay, just ask yourself: What do women really want? You take these bored housewives, married to the same guy for years, they're stuck in a rut, then need some release! Promise of adventure, a hint of danger. I create that for them.

  Harry : So basically, your lying your ass off the whole time. See, I can't do that.

  Simon : What are you, a boy scout? No, no, no, think of it as playing a role as fantasy. I mean, you got to work on their dreams. Get them out of their daily surburban grind for a few hours.

  Harry : But what about their husbands?

  Simon : Dickless! I mean, let's face it, if they took care of business, I'd be out of business! You know what I mean?

  [laughs] 

  Harry : [fake laughs]  Those idiots!

• [Simon attempting to have sex with Helen on the couch in his trailer] 

  Helen Tasker : No, I can't. I can't!

  [Simon still pursuing] 

  Simon : If not for me, Helen, do it for your country!

• Simon : [after taken out of his trailer by Harry's government agents]  Take her! Take her! Oh, god, don't hurt me!