Toy Story (1995)

John Ratzenberger: Hamm

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Potato Head : Hey, a laser! How come *you* don't have a laser, Woody?

  Woody : It's not a laser! It's a...

  [sighs in frustration] 

  Woody : It's a little light bulb that blinks.

  Hamm : What's with him?

  Mr. Potato Head : Laser envy.

• [Mr. Potato Head rearranges his facial features crazily] 

  Mr. Potato Head : Hey, Hamm. Look, I'm Picasso!

  Hamm : I don't get it.

  Mr. Potato Head : You uncultured swine! What're you lookin' at, ya hockey puck?

• [the toys are meeting Buzz for the first time] 

  Hamm : So where you from? Singapore? Hong Kong?

  Buzz : Well, no. Actually, I-I'm-- I'm stationed up in the Gamma Quadrant of Sector Four.

  [as Buzz speaks, Woody looks down at the cardboard box and finds that everything that Buzz is saying is from the back of the box] 

  Buzz : As a member of the elite Universe Protection Unit of the Space Ranger Corps, I protect the galaxy from the threat of invasion... from the evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance!

  Mr. Potato Head : [nonplussed]  Oh, really? I'm from Playskool.

  Rex : And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not really from Mattel. I'm actually from a smaller company that was purchased in a leveraged buyout.

• Mr. Potato Head : [noticing Woody calling from Sid's house]  Son of a building block! It's Woody!

  Hamm : He's in the psycho's bedroom!

  Bo Peep : Woody?

  Woody : Boy, am I glad to see you guys!

  Slinky Dog : I knew you'd come back!

  Bo Peep : What are you doing over there?

  Woody : It's a long story, I'll explain later. Here! Catch this!

  [Woody throws a string of Christmas lights across to Andy's window, which Slinky grabs successfully] 

  Slinky Dog : I got it!

  Woody : Good going Slink! Now tie it onto something!

  Mr. Potato Head : Wait, I have a better idea! How about we don't?

  [snatches the lights off Slinky] 

  Slinky Dog : Hey!

  Bo Peep : Potato Head!

  Mr. Potato Head : Did you all take those Stupid Pills this morning? Have you forgotten what he did to Buzz?

  [the other toys shake their head] 

  Mr. Potato Head : And now you wanna let him back over here?

  Woody : No, no. You got it all wrong Potato Head. Buzz is fine. Buzz is right here. He's with me.

  Mr. Potato Head : You are a liar!

  Woody : No i'm not!

  [calling to Buzz] 

  Woody : Buzz, come over here and tell the nice toy's that you're not dead!

  [Buzz sits on the floor of Sid's Room, peeling off the sticker of his wrist communicator] 

  Woody : Just a sec.

  Woody : [walks back into Sid's room and calls over to Buzz]  Buzz, will you get up here and gimme a hand?

  [Buzz throws his broken-off arm to Woody] 

  Woody : Ha-ha, ha-ha. That's real funny. THIS IS SERIOUS!

• Rex : Mr. Lightyear, now I'm curious... what does a space ranger actually do?

  Woody : He's not a space ran-*ger*! He doesn't fight evil or, or... shoot lasers or fly.

  Buzz : Excuse me.

  Buzz : [Buzz deploys his wings; all exclaim in excitement] 

  Hamm : Wow. Impressive wingspan. Very good.

  Woody : Oh, what? What? These are plastic; he can't fly.

  Buzz : They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I *can* fly.

  Woody : No, you can't.

  Buzz : [sighs]  Yes, I can.

  Woody : Can't.

  Buzz : Can.

  Woody : Can't, can't, ca-an't!

  Buzz : I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed!

  Woody : Okay, Mr. Light Beer, prove it.

  Buzz : All right then, I will. Stand back, everyone.

• Slinky Dog : [after Buzz gets knocked out the window and lands into the bushes nearby]  Hey guys, RC's trying to tell us something.

  Rex : What is it Boy?

  R.C. the Race Car : [RC whirrs his wheels] 

  Mr. Potato Head : He's saying that this is *no* accident!

  Bo Peep : What do you mean?

  Mr. Potato Head : I mean Humpty Dumpty was pushed, by Woody!

  [the toys all stare at Woody in shock] 

  Woody : Wait a minute, You don't think I even meant to knock Buzz out the window, do you? Potato Head?

  Mr. Potato Head : That's Mr. Potato Head to *you* you backstabbing murderer!

  Woody : Now, guys, it was an accident. C'mon, you-you've gotta believe me.

  Slinky Dog : We believe ya, Woody. Right, Rex?

  Rex : [nervously]  Well, I mean, uh, I don't like confrontations!

  Mr. Potato Head : Couldn't handle Buzz cutting on your playtime, could you Woody? Didn't wanna face the fact that Buzz might be Andy's *new* favourite toy. So you got rid of him. Well what if Andy starts playing with *me* more Woody, huh? You gonna knock me out the window too?

  Hamm : I don't think we should give him the chance.

• Woody : [running towards Buzz in a mocking sort of manner]  Buzz! Oh, Buzz! Buzz Lightyear! Buzz Lightyear, thank goodness! We've got trouble!

  Buzz : Trouble? Where?

  Woody : Down there. Just down there. A helpless toy! It's - It's trapped, Buzz!

  Buzz : Then we've no time to lose.

  [Buzz jumps over to the side of the desk, while Woody sneaks over to RC's remote, waking him up, and aiming him directly at Buzz] 

  Buzz : I don't see anything!

  Woody : Uh, he's there. Just - Just keep looking.

  [Woody sends RC driving towards Buzz. Buzz jumps out of the way, and RC crashes into the pin-up board in the corner, knocking all the pins down around Buzz. The board crashes down into Andy's globe, knocking it loose, rolling towards Buzz] 

  Woody : [Buzz jumps out of the globe's way, onto the windowsill, but the globe strikes Andy's folding-arm desk lamp. It spins over Woody, who ducks out of the way, and hits Buzz, sending him flying out the window] 

  Hamm , Mr. Potato Head : [stop their card game, and run over to the window in panic]  BUZZ!

  Woody : Buzz!

  [Buzz flies into the bushes nearby and disappears] 

  Slinky Dog : [the rest of Andy's toys gather round]  I don't see him in the driveway. I think he bounced into Sid's Yard.

  [Woody gulps and backs away from the window after what happened] 

• [watching guests arrive for Andy's party] 

  Rex : Any dinosaur-shaped ones?

  Hamm : Oh, for crying out loud, they're all in *boxes*, you idiot.

  Rex : They're getting bigger...

  Slinky Dog : Wait, there's a nice little one over there.

  [boy turns around, revealing the full length of the box he's carrying] 

  Rex , Hamm , Slinky Dog : AAAAAHH!

• Sergeant : Molly's first present is... Mrs. Potato Head! Repeat, a Mrs. Potato Head!

  Hamm : Way to go, Ida-ho!

  Mr. Potato Head : Gee, I'd better shave!

  [pulls off his moustache] 

• Rex : Hey, Woody? Where'd you go?

  Mr. Potato Head : He's lying, Buzz ain't there.

  [Woody returns with Buzz' detached arm, hiding it slightly from the other toys] 

  Woody : Oh, hi Buzz. Why don't you say hello to the guys over there?

  Woody : [Imitating Buzz' voice]  Hiya fellas. To infinity and beyond!

  Rex : [while Slinky and Bo Peep look excited]  Hey look, it's Buzz!

  Woody : [shakes the arm's hand]  Yeah, hey, Buzz. Let's show the guys our new secret best-friends hand shake. Gimme five, man!

  [Hi fives Buzz's severed arm] 

  Hamm : [to Mr. Potato Head]  Something's screwy here.

  Woody : So, you see. We're friends now, guys. Aren't we, Buzz?

  [imitates Buzz] 

  Woody : You bet, give me a hug.

  [makes the arm grab his neck and pull him forward into a hug; chuckles] 

  Woody : Oh. I love you, too.

  Slinky Dog : See? It is Buzz!

  [to Mr. Potato Head] 

  Slinky Dog : Now give back the lights, Potato Head.

• Sergeant : [he can't see what Andy is holding up]  It's a...

  Rex : It's A WHAT? WHAT IS IIIITTTTT?

  [Rex shakes the table, inadvertently knocking off the TalkBoy and causing the batteries to fall out] 

  Rex : Oh, no!

  Mr. Potato Head : Oh, you big lizard! Now we'll never know what it is!

  Rex : Way to go, Rex!

  [moves forward] 

  Woody : [as the toys struggle to put the batteries back in the TalkBoy]  No, no, turn 'em around! Turn 'em around!

  Hamm : He's putting them in backward!

  [to Mr. Potato Head] 

  Hamm : Hey, you're putting 'em in backwards!

  Woody : PLUS IS POSITIVE! MINUS IS NEGATIVE! Oh, let me!

  [jumps down] 

  Sergeant : [downstairs, into the Baby Monitor]  Red alert! Red alert! Andy is coming upstairs!

  [Woody puts the batteries back in properly and picks the Talkboy up] 

  Sergeant : ... juvenile intrusion, repeat! Assume your positions now!

  Woody : ANDY'S COMING! Everybody back to your places! Hurry!

  [mayhem breaks out] 

  Mr. Potato Head : [in a panic]  Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear?

  Rex : Out of my way! Here I come, here I come!

  [Rex bonks his head with bucket] 

• Woody : Has everybody picked a moving buddy?

  Hamm : Moving buddy? You can't be serious!

  Rex : I didn't know we were supposed to have one already!

  Mr. Potato Head : [holding his left arm in his right hand]  Do we have to hold hands?

  [All laugh] 

• Hamm : Yes, sir, we're next month's garage sale fodder for sure.

• Slinky Dog : It's Sid!

  Rex : I thought he was at summer camp!

  Hamm : They must've kicked him out early this year.

  Rex : Oh no, not Sid!

• Mr. Potato Head : [as Woody tries to persuade everyone that Buzz is alright so that they may help him over]  Wait just a minute. What are you trying to pull?

  Woody : [throwing both hands into the air, accidentally revealing Buzz' severed arm completely]  Nothing!

  [the toys from Andy's Room scream in horror, and Rex throws up at the sight of it. Realizing his mistake, Woody tries to hide the arm behind his back] 

  Hamm : Oh, that is disgusting!

  Mr. Potato Head : Murderer!

  Woody : No! No, no, no, no! It's not what you think. I swear!

  Mr. Potato Head : Save it for the jury! I hope Sid pulls your voice box out, ya creep!

  [throws the string of Christmas lights out the window, which go flying back to Sid's house, and land into Sid's Yard] 

  Woody : [pleading for mercy]  No! No! No, no! Don't leave! Don't leave! You've gotta help us, please! You don't know what's it's like over here!

  Mr. Potato Head : [he and the other toys start to leave, except Slinky]  Come on let's get outta here.

  Hamm : Go back to your lives, citizens. Show's over.

  Woody : [to Slinky, who's also beginning to leave]  Slink! Slink, please! Please, listen to me!

  Woody : [Slinky sadly closes the blinds]  No! No, come back!

  Woody : [sadly]  SLI-I-I-I-NKYYY!

• Mr. Potato Head : [while playing Battleship]  Ah, ha. B-3.

  Hamm : Miss. G-6.

  Mr. Potato Head : Aw, you sunk it!

  [Hamm chuckles] 

  Mr. Potato Head : Are you peeking?

  Hamm : Hey, quit your whining and pay up.

  [Mr. Potato Head plls off one of his ears] 

  Hamm : No, no, not the ear. Gimme the nose.

  Mr. Potato Head : [pulls off his nose]  How 'bout 3 out of 5?