7th Heaven (1996–2007)

Stephen Collins: Rev. Eric Camden

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Quotes 

• Eric : All right, Simon, I don't like what you have been doing. And it's really difficult to believe that after growing up in this family, you could just so easily abandon what you've been taught and what I think you believe and... I do love you, son, I do. I hate what you've been doing, but I love you.

• [as Annie bangs her head into a wall after being told her father is remarrying] 

  Eric : Honey, honey, not now. I-I don't know how to plaster.

• Eric : There's always going to be somebody who'll try to take your dignity and self-esteem. Just never let them take your voice.

• Eric : Well, the wind is real, but you can't see the wind. You know, you can only see the leaves rustling in the trees. Pain is real but you can't see pain. You can only see tears. Happiness is real, but you can't see happiness. You can only see the smile on someone's face.

• Annie : Teenagers.

  Eric : Yeah, if you don't like their mood, wait 10 minutes.

• Eric : A mother feeding her child is the most beautiful picture in the world.

  Annie : Do you have any idea how much this hurts?

• [During labor] 

  Annie : Give me your hand.

  Eric : Why? Are you hurting?

  Annie : [sarcastically]  No. I'm feeling... romantic.

• Eric : You, Lucy Camden, are an outstanding person. And if they gave out an award for the best in the human race, you would win it year after year.

• [Eric to Annie] 

  Eric : Are you aware that our living room is filled with children who don't belong to us?

• [Eric is tucking his youngest sons in to bed] 

  Eric : I love you guys.

  Sam : I love Spiderman.

  David : I love Batman.

  Eric : I love Batman too.

  Sam : What about Spiderman?

  Eric : I love him too.

  David : Which do you love more?

  Eric : ...Batman.

  David : Why?

  Eric : I have no idea. Good night boys.

  [tucks the boys in and steps into the hall] 

  Eric : That was the best conversation I had all day.

• Rev. Camden : You know what the scariest thing in my life is?

  Simon : Those bowling shoes?

• Eric : If you'll excuse me, I have to put my head through a wall.

• Eric : You expect me to believe that you have to choose between family and that low life, cradle-robbing sky jockey?

• Annie : Who is in the hospital?

  Eric : The hospitalized.

• Annie : I need to talk to you in the living room.

  Sam : You're in trouble. Tell her you're sorry and you'll never do it again.

  Eric : I don't think that will work for me.

  David : Tell her Happy did it.

  Eric : I don't think that will work for me either.

• [Eric is telling Annie about the nightmare he had] 

  Eric : I was marrying Kevin and Lucy in my underwear.

• Eric : Don't try to ruin a perfectly good night of spying on the kids with logic.

• [Eric and Annie are taking Ruthie into school for her first day of Kindergarten] 

  Ruthie : You took him?

  Eric : We took all of you.

  Ruthie : He told me he took a cab and paid for it all by himself.

  Eric : Cabs are very cheap on Planet Simon.

• Eric : Do you want me to help?

  Simon : Do I want you to help me? Of course, I want you to help me. But you can't. I have to be a grown up tonight.

• Mary : HELLO-MY-NAME-IS-MARY.

  Eric : Mary, he's French, not deaf.

• Eric : You know in some ways your mother hasn't changed since the day I married her over twenty years ago.

  Matt : And in other ways?

  Eric : She's mean. Really, really mean.

• Lucy : [after seeing Sandy's mother and stepfather]  I think I liked the drunk father better.

  Eric : He certainly was warmer.

• Guy : Stupid Americans.

  Eric , Annie , Ruthie , Simon , Mary , Lucy , Matt : [all at same time]  We heard that!