American Pie (1999)
Eddie Kaye Thomas: Finch
Photos
Quotes
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Stifler's Mom : I got some scotch.
Finch : Single malt?
Stifler's Mom : Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.
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Jim : [Nadia takes off her underwear] Holy shit.
Finch : HOLY SHIT!
Garage Band Member , Garage Band Member , Garage Band Member : [together] Holy shit
Enthusiastic Guy : [enthusiastically] Holy shit!
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Finch : God bless the Internet.
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[Deleted Scene. Kevin enters to see Finch drinking mochachino]
Kevin : Finch, get to the bathroom, now!
Finch : Easy tiger, what's in there?
Kevin : Just go.
Finch : And why is this?
Kevin : Listen, you're going to shit your pants.
Finch : [snorts] That's charming.
Finch : Look, Stifler slipped some sort of laxative in your coffee and it's fast acting - really fast.
Finch : Listen, Kevin, you know first of all it's mochachino... Oh... Oh!
[Finch runs from the room]
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Finch : So, ah, would you object if I said you were quite striking?
Stifler's Mom : Mister Finch, are you trying to seduce me?
Finch : Yes ma'am, I am.
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[Deleted Scene. The boys sit by the lockers]
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : She's a college chick.
Jim : Cassanova!
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Debbie.
Steve Stifler : Bullshit - from where?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : She works part-time at my dad's store.
Steve Stifler : Yeah right, Oz, I bet it's more like your dad works at her store.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Dude, come on, he does not.
Kevin : Really, Stifler, he's the manager.
Steve Stifler : Hey, I'm not making fun - I'm fucking impressed! I mean, "Hi, six inch or foot-long, white or wheat?" - that's some serious shit to master!
Kevin : Stifler, you're such an asshole!
Steve Stifler : [chuckles] Myers... I mean, what's the deal with you and Vicky anyways? I mean you guys have been going since homecoming for God's sake and all she'll do is blow you? Shit, I'd drop her like a steaming turd!
Finch : Do you commonly grasp warm pieces of stool?
Steve Stifler : I do when I'm throwing them at your mom, you damn freak!
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[Deleted Scene. The boys are in Dog Years]
Jim : Guys guys guys - here's an easy one, okay: "Attractive single white female, fun-loving, youthful mind seeks outgoing companion". Okay; Attractive: ugly.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Fun Loving: Insane.
Kevin : Okay, 'unlisted age' plus 'youthful mind' equals 'Old'.
Jim : No, no no no - 'Charming' is old; 'Older' is really old; 'Youthful mind' is dead.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Yes, yes.
[High-fives with Jim]
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : [to Finch] You're still eating that damn imitation hot dog?
Finch : It's not an imitation. Removing the actual 'dog' from the Ultra Dog makes a better hot dog.
[Holds up a roll full of salad, onion and mustard]
Finch : Behold Ultra Dog - No dog.
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[Deleted scene. The boys are in Dog Years]
Finch : Is that legal? Can you do that?
Jim : I did it. Don't care.
Kevin : Maybe we'll just have to call you two-ply.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : I personally enjoyed the double-bagging part myself.
Jim : Well I'm very happy to entertain you Oz. So how you doing Kev, you okay?
Kevin : [pauses] Yeah.
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Steve Stifler : Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house and you're not gonna do anything about that?
Jim : What am I going to do? Huh? Broadcast her over the internet?
Steve Stifler : Yeah!
Kevin : You can do that?
Jim : No, I cannot do that to her.
Steve Stifler : Jim, get some fucking balls! Man, if you don't have the guts to photograph a naked chick in your house how the hell are you gonna sleep with one?
Finch : I don't like the kid, but he's got a point, Jim.
Steve Stifler : See, even Shitbrick knows you should do it.
Steve Stifler : Now, all you gotta do is set up some sort of private link or whatever on the net and tell me the address.
Kevin : You can send me the address too. I'll save you a seat.
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[Deleted scene. The boys are at the prom]
Finch : All right, all right - I'm here for your dumb meeting.
Kevin : So, status check...
Chuck Sherman : Boys, boys, boys. I'm on the offensive, the Sherman tank is going back in, locked on target, flying in stealth mode under enemy sex radar, ready to make the payload - again.
