Terror Firmer (1999)
Will Keenan: Casey Kaufman
Photos
Quotes
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Jerry : Hey Ward, according to these new revisions, Toxie finds out that the chemical company responsible for turning him into the Toxic Avenger was called Junk-O Chemicals.
Ward : No way!
Jerry : Way! It turns out that it was owned by his late father who made this plant which made Toxie sick which is why he commited suicide, and Toxie never even knew it!
Casey : All these revisions... it's absolutely ridiculous.
Jerry : I'm sorry, what?
Casey : We change the script every day. It completely changes everything in the story.
Jerry : Yes. You can do whatever you want to at Troma. It's this shit in which the best chaos emerges.
Casey : How can you like this offensive garbage anyway?
Jerry : Because it is offensive. Sometimes pissing people off is the only reason to get them to look at shit.
[the Mad Cow Boy standing nearby yells 'moo']
Jerry : See? Even Mad Cow Boy agrees.
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Jennifer : I'm glad that wasn't a real knife.
Andy : If course it was not a real knife. We wouldn't even allow a butter knife on the set. We all know Benjamin's three simple rules to safety. One, safety to humans. Two, safety to people's property. And three, make a good movie.
Casey : Yeah, too bad he can't seem to get rule three right.
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Old Man Phil : Larry Benjamin was the first director to deal with the subject of AIDS way back in 1985.
Casey : Right, you call having a mindless nymphet getting raped by an evil general with AIDS is dealing with the subject?
Jerry : Right. What's best about it is that you can order that movie and all of Benjamin's older movies on VHS.
Old Man Phil : And on DVD with a director's commentary.
Jerry : Safely and securely on-line or through telephone or mail order.
[the Mad Cow Boy yells 'moo']
Old Man Phil : What's that Mad Cow Boy? You want the Internet address? It's www.Troma.com.
[the caption reading 'http://www.troma.com OR CALL 1-800-83-TROMA' appears on the screen]
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Theodora : Larry, Old Man Phil is dead!
Moose : Somebody start digging a fucking hole!
Casey : Houston, we have a problem.
[Yeager the PA looks at and eats the brown excrement from the bottom of the dead body of Old Man Phil]
Naked P.A. : This is definately not chocolate pudding.
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Casey : I was thinking about going home and putting a Spielberg movie in - 'Always' or '1941,' something really great like that.
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Casey : Sam Fuller, the American no-talent embraced by those French derelicts.
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Jerry : Hey look, wouldn't you know it? I missed a spot with the blood. Blood boy! Blood boy!
Casey : You know Jerry, there are many ways to express oneself other then saying "more blood, more blood"!
Jerry : Okay, I could express myself a bit more physically by giving you a nice PUNCH in the fucking lungs! How would you like that?
Casey : You shouldn't hit me.
Jerry : Oh, and why is that?
Casey : Well, because...
[Casey suddenly grabs Jerry and throws him against a wall and lifts him by his collar a few feet off the floor]
Casey : You'll be nothing but a bloody heap of quivering pasty white flesh lying on the ground begging for your mama! Would you like that?
Jerry : [terrified] No...
