Norm (1999–2001)

Norm MacDonald: Norm Henderson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Denby : Norm, I'd like to talk to you regarding our long distance policy (MacDonald, Norm@Norm Henderson)

  [on the phone] 

  Mr. Denby : : Okay, sir

  Mr. Denby : You have all these calls to China. Who do you know in China?

  Norm Henderson : Well, no one until you call, sir. Hold on one second.

  [into phone, in Chinese] 

  Norm Henderson : Ni hao ma. Ding hai Prince Albert in a can?

• [contest-winning punchline] 

  Mr. Denby : The men's bathroom is disgusting. Tell her, Norm.

  Norm : There's a bathroom in this building? I've been using the donut shop across the street.

  Laurie : You go all the way across the street just to use the bathroom in the donut shop?

  Norm : There's a bathroom in the donut shop?

• Norm Henderson : He may be rich, but all his money and power can't stop me from rubbing my hands together maniacally!

• Norm Henderson : [to Max]  I'm proud of you Max. I bet you're gonna live to the ripe old age of... how old are you again? 88?

• Max Denby : I had to eat a bowl of fruity pebbles this morning!

  Norm : No wonder you have such a fruity personality.

• [after learning that Norm decided to take it easy on insulting, Mr. Denby if he wouldn't fire his friends] 

  Norm : Ah, it was nothing, actually it was a huge sacrifice, it was not unlike that guy, uh, Jesus Christ Almighty!

• Norm Henderson : I hate you. You've never given me anything to be happy for!

  Max Denby : I gave you life!

• Norm : See ya soon Vic.

  Vic : Yeah, screw you Norm.

• Laurie : What are you going to keep doing this all your life? You know there is nothing sadder than a 70-year-old prostitute!

  Norm : Yeah, you don't wanna have to be taking your teeth out twenty or thirty times a day!

• Max Denby : Norm, I've finally got you RIGHT where I want you.

  Norm : What? I'm not in a mattress in the back of your van, sir.

• Norm : Hey Artie, have you thought about getting off my couch for once and getting yourself, oh I don't know, a job?

  Artie Henderson : Hey I just got a job recently. I stand in the unemployment line and scratch my ass there.

• Norm Henderson : Right after our special Pokemon opening. That's right kids, Pokemon! You might want to bring the littler tykes to bed during the commercial.