CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (2000–2015)
Eric Szmanda: CSI Greg Sanders, Lab Tech Greg Sanders, Greg Sanders
Photos
Quotes
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Greg Sanders : All work and no play makes Greg a dull boy.
Gil Grissom : All play and no work makes Greg an UNEMPLOYED boy.
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[liquid from the trunk of a car containing two corpses splashes up onto Greg's face and into his mouth]
Sara Sidle : Technically, that makes you a cannibal. Grissom would be proud.
Greg Sanders : Grissom would have tasted it on purpose.
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Greg Sanders : Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer. Swab one down, run it through CODIS, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall.
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Zach : You know how it is, you look like you were a jock in college.
Greg Sanders : Me?
Sara Sidle : Him?
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Greg Sanders : I, am a genius.
Warrick Brown : Let me guess, you ran the DNA and got a hit?
Greg Sanders : No.
Gil Grissom : You ran the DNA and something distinctive came up?
Greg Sanders : No.
Warrick Brown : You rolled out of bed and managed to dress yourself?
Greg Sanders : No.
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Nick Stokes : [Greg opens a cupboard and pulls out a book] I thought that's where you kept your porn.
Greg Sanders : I move it around.
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Gil Grissom : I just got a page from James Watson.
Nick Stokes : And I got one from Francis Crick. What's going on, Greg?
Greg Sanders : Well, as you both know, Watson and Crick are the granddaddies of DNA. Without their discoveries, I'd have nothing to do all day.
Nick Stokes : What have you been doing all day?
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Gil Grissom : So, let's see. You surf, you scuba dive. You're into latex, you like fashion models and Marilyn Manson. And you also have a coin collection?
Greg Sanders : Weird, ha?
Gil Grissom : Well, I race cockroaches!
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Greg Sanders : Hey Catherine, you think Sara would go to dinner with me?
Catherine Willows : Sure, as long as you don't tell her it's a date.
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[Grissom walks by the lab where Greg is playing music]
Gil Grissom : Hey, Sanders, no punk rock.
Greg Sanders : What about Black Flag?
Gil Grissom : Are you nuts?
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Greg Sanders : Bringing back a semen sample... I analyzed this and found your DNA.
Nick Stokes : That was quick.
Greg Sanders : No jokes about my being fast in this department.
Nick Stokes : Hah.
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[after telling Grissom something that Grissom already knows]
Greg Sanders : I guess I should stop trying to impress you.
Gil Grissom : That would impress me.
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Catherine Willows : So, any luck with the blood and hair samples I gave you?
Greg Sanders : Don't insult me. Luck is only for those without skill.
Catherine Willows : Spoken like a man who's never hit the jackpot.
Greg Sanders : Sad, but true.
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Catherine Willows : [looking at a surveillance video of a teenage boy in an elevator] You crack this kid's head open, all that would come out would be T&A.
Greg Sanders : I think you said that about me once.
Catherine Willows : Actually, more than once.
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Greg Sanders : For the record, I really like having a penis.
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Greg Sanders : [about Sara] You want a valium for her?
Sara Sidle : I heard that!
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Gil Grissom : Where's your enthusiasm?
Greg Sanders : Whenever I find a match in here, my world gets a little smaller. Out there I felt large.
Gil Grissom : Out there means a pay cut.
Greg Sanders : I'm not about the money.
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Greg Sanders : [about orthodontia] I had it all - palate expander, braces, retainer, headgear. Five years of torture, but worth every penny, don't you think?
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Greg Sanders : I had to send this to an outside lab since we're not equipped to carry out bacterial DNA analysis. Hint, hint.
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Sara Sidle : I think this print dust is getting to me. Would you mind finishing up the fridge?
Greg Sanders : Do I get a gold star?
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Sara Sidle : I was really into gold stars when I was a kid.
Greg Sanders : As opposed to now?
