Judd Nelson: Sheriff
Photos
Quotes
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[Willenholly and the Utah police confront Jay and Silent Bob]
Sheriff : Are you fucking crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.
Whillenholly : I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-fucking Brady Bunch go.
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Whillenholly : [Jay and Silent Bob are hiding in the diner] They've got a monkey in there?
Sheriff : An ape.
Whillenholly : What?
Sheriff : An orangutan's a member of the great ape family, it's not a monkey.
Whillenholly : Look, who's the Federal Wildlife Marshal here, me or you? That's what I thought.
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Whillenholly : Fire a warning shot into his bulbous ass.
Sheriff : One rectal breach comin' up.
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Sheriff : The hell with this. Let's go back to the station house, and cornhole us a drunk.
