Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000–2024)
Barry Gordon: Rabbi
Quotes
-
[Larry notices a picture on his rabbi's desk]
Larry : Is that you?
Rabbi : That's... that's Eddie Solomon. My brother-in-law. He, ummm... he died on September 11th.
Larry : Oh my gosh. Oh, I'm so sorry.
Rabbi : Yeah. Terrible.
Larry : He was in the building?
Rabbi : No, no. He, he was... uptown on 57th Street. He got hit by a bike messenger.
Larry : Uptown?
Rabbi : Yeah, yeah. Bike messenger. Hit 'em.
Larry : [Long pause] What a shame.
-
[Larry has just offended a rabbi]
Nat David : He doesn't know what he's doing.
Cheryl's Mom : He really doesn't.
Cheryl : No, he's...
Larry : What do they say in The Bible? "He knows not... whereof he... "
Rabbi : Don't try, don't try to quote The Bible.
Larry : "... he speaks not?... "
Rabbi : Just, just don't try...
Larry : "... forked tongue?... He knows not whereof he... whence he speaks?... "
Cheryl's Mom : Okay!
Nat David : Larry... if you could be quiet.
-
Larry : Alright, let's roll!
Rabbi : What? "Let's roll"? What did you say?
Larry : What?
Rabbi : You knew my brother-in-law died on September 11th! How dare you say something like that!
Larry : With all due respect, wasn't that just a coincidence?
Rabbi : Oh, what the...
Larry : Alright, poor choice of words...
Rabbi : What the hell kind of a...
Larry : Alright, that's long gone...
Rabbi : You know, I don't wanna do this. Forget it. Forget it.
Larry : Oh, I didn't know, I didn't know that if you, that if you, you died UPTOWN on 9/11 that it was, that it was part of it, uh... the tragedy.
-
[Larry and Cheryl - and their parents - are talking to the rabbi about renewing their vows]
Rabbi : Right, so then uh, I'll, uh... do the blessing, uh, the last blessing, just a little bit of Hebrew, and then I will put the glass on the floor, and we'll step on it, and that'll be it.
Cheryl's Dad : That's when everybody yells "a matzoh toff"?
Rabbi : No no, it's "mazeltov". It means good luck.
Cheryl's Dad : Could we say "yippee!" or something?
Cheryl's Mom : Or "good luck" or something?
Cheryl's Dad : "Hallelujah" would be good.