Mortal Kombat (2021)

Josh Lawson: Kano

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Kano : [tears Reptile's heart out]  Kano wins. You fuckin' beauty.

• Liu Kang : You're angry.

  Kano : Oh, fucking nothing gets by you, does it?

  Liu Kang : Good. You should be.

  Kung Lao : You failure.

  Kano : Failure? Fucking failure? Let me educate you, motherfucker. I'm Kano! I'm the Black fucking Dragon! And who are you two, huh? You're some fucking cave-dwelling hippie twirling his anal beads, taking orders from this Wushu wanker who wears a hubcap as a helmet! Now, sit down, shut up and pass me a fucking egg roll!

• Liu Kang : [to Kano about Kung Lao]  Let me ask you this. Why would you jeopardize the goodwill of the only chance of your survival?

  Kano : Princess, why don't you try being one of them silent monks?

  Liu Kang : No, no, you misunderstand. He is here to save you because you cannot save yourself.

  Kano : Oh fuck, here we go...

  Liu Kang : You're like... an aggressive little bunny. Soft and useless. Angry mentally, physically.

  [gestures to Kung Lao] 

  Liu Kang : You should be on your knees before this man.

  Kano : [standing up]  I've a better idea. How about you two get on your knees and take turns sucking my sack? Do you have any fucking idea who you're talking to? I'm wanted in over 35 countries for shit you fucking ballerinas couldn't even imagine!

• Kano : [to Kung Lao]  Well, how about I take that stupid fucking sombrero you're wearing, shove it so far up your ass, you start speaking Spanish.

• Sonya Blade : [describing Kano to Cole]  He's a mercenary with The Black Dragon clan. Arms dealer, drug runner, murder-for-hire, scum of the Earth.

  Kano : I also give really good foot massages.

• Sonya Blade : I was tracking another champion. I was lucky enough to find Kano here instead. Right after he slit the guy's throat.

  Kano : You know, next time be more punctual.

• Kano : Alright, just circling back on those superpowers. I think I get it now. It's kinda like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get. Is it gonna be fireballs? Is it gonna be lightning? Huh? Could be shit. Could be a Frisbee hat, you know? No offense, whoever you are.

  Kung Lao : The name is Kung Lao. Descendant of the Great Kung Lao. The grand champion of the Order of Light.

  Kano : Never heard of him.

• Kano : [fighting Sonya]  You owe me 3 million dollars!

• Sonya Blade : You were never chosen. Fate has better standards than you.

  Kano : Lucky for you I don't have any standards.

• Liu Kang : There are not many of us with the marking left, so you must train harder and fast. Because if you fail to discover your inner power, you will never defeat your opponent. They will ravage everything you hold dear. There will be no mercy. You must fight without question. The Dragon has swallowed many before us.

  [to Kano, who has stolen Shinnok's amulet during his speech] 

  Liu Kang : Now, put that back.

  Kano : Put what back?

• Kung Lao : I'll dumb it down for you. Fat lazy pig.

  Kano : What did you say?

  Kung Lao : Terrible fighter... zero skill.

  Kano : You got a death wish, mate?

  Kung Lao : Combat takes intelligence, but you... You're like a dog. A dog who fails his training classes.

• Kabal : This is fucking tragic. Look at yourself. You used to be someone to fear. You've fallen down a long way since you led the Black Dragon.

  Kano : You don't tell me about the Black Dragon. I am the Black Dragon!

  Kabal : Which one's your boss? Let me guess, the blonde?

  Kano : Is that mask cutting off your air supply, you dumb prick? I don't take orders from anyone, Kabal!

  Kabal : Then, you're on the wrong side. Fight with us and you could have more money than you know what to do with. Hell, you could turn this old temple into your own casino if you wanted to. Just name your price, then double it and double it again. What are you waiting for, asshole?

  Kano : So, what would I need to do?

• Kano : There I was trying to shove this guy's nuts down his throat. And all I kept thinking about for me mum for Christmas?

  Cargo Plane Pilot : Your mom's been dead for 30 fucking years, mate.

  Kano : Kid can dream. Can't he?

• Kano : A laser beam! It's better than fireballs, you pussy!

• [Sonya throws a knife at Reptile, but hits Kano] 

  Kano : The fuck was that? That was my knife, too! Fucking poetry.

• Kano : Uh, you got a pen? You want to write this down? Get fucked. 'Cause I'm not gonna help you. You kidnapped me. You tied me up. You threw a knife through my fucking leg, on purpose. And then that lizard thing took off half my face. Lucky for me, you can hardly notice it.

• Kano : [to Sonya]  I think I know what's going on here. You're jealous, girlie, of my little marking.

  [Sonya ignores him; Kano shoves her] 

  Kano : Hey, I'm talking to you. If you want it so much, all you got to do is kill me. Take it. Now, come on. What do you say? You want to dance?

• Cole Young : [as Kano is drawing a picture of himself killing Reptile]  What are you doing?

  Kano : Just working on a Kano graphic novel. I fancy myself a bit of an artist.

  Cole Young : He's a psychopath.

  Kano : Well, all the best artists are a little twisted, mate.

• Sonya Blade : How do you plan on getting us there?

  Kano : I've got a friend with a plane.

  Cole Young : You've got friends?

  Kano : Hey, fuck you, pretty boy. I'm a popular guy. Everyone loves me.

• Kabal : Well well well, you backstabbing, two-faced, ugly motherfucker.

  Kano : [chuckles]  Kabal.

  Kabal : Hey, Kano. It's been a while.

  Kano : You getting enough sleep, mate? Your eyes are a little redder than usual.

  Kabal : You've got a big mouth for someone who's standing on the wrong side of the electric fence, tough guy.

• Cole Young : Who are you?

  Sonya Blade : He's Kano.

  Cole Young : Kano? Kano what?

  Kano : Kano None-of-your-fucking-business!

  Cole Young : Was that Russian?

  Kano : Do I sound Russian to you, you fuckin' idiot?

• Cole Young : What about you? Where's your marking?

  Sonya Blade : I don't have one.

  Kano : Wah-wah!

• Sonya Blade : Everyone's got a price. Name yours.

  Kano : You can't afford me.

  Sonya Blade : Two million.

  Kano : That's good. You live in this shithole, and you got two million dollars? Pig's arse.

  Sonya Blade : I have lived here my whole life, you piece of shit. You watch your mouth. Two million dollars. Yeah. Nah, fuck ya.

  Kano : Fuck it. Three million. That's my final offer. And anything I find inside that temple, I keep! No fucking splitsies! Plus, if you're bullshitting me, I'll fucking kill ya. It's no skin off my sack.

  Sonya Blade : Great! Sounds like we got a deal.

  Kano : I was gonna head there anyway. Ya fuckin' idiot!

• Sonya Blade : This is where we keep all we've learned about the dragon markings. First learned about this seven years ago. Jax and I were on a mission in Brazil to capture a wanted fugitive. When we got there, the target had superhuman abilities. Tore through our unit in seconds. The target had the same marking you do, Cole. When Jax finally took it down the dragon marking transferred directly onto his skin. I've spent years trying to figure out what it all means. Seems that throughout history, different cultures all over the world, they reference a great tournament. My research shows that there's realms and species that we didn't even know existed. That dragon marking, it signifies that you've been chosen to fight for Earth. It's an invitation to fight for something known as Mortal Kombat.

  Cole Young : [in slight disbelief]  Did you make that last part up? It just kind of sounds like you made it up.

  [points at 'Kombat'] 

  Cole Young : And look, they spelled it wrong.

  Sonya Blade : Hey, you listen to me! I think there's another tournament coming. That's why you're here. That is why Jax and I have been tracking you. Because we need to find every last champion before it's too late. And FYI, most of them are dead already. There's more to this, Cole. I know it. And I swear to God, I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.

  Kano : I hate to interrupt your bullshit, blondie! Well, I gotta piss again.

• Liu Kang : [seeing Cole, Sonya, and Kano for the first time]  Finally, you have come to seek out Raiden's Temple.

  Kano : [after being hit with Liu Kang's fireball]  Fuck the temple! Wait! You just shot a fireball outta your hand. How'd you do that? Hang on, hang the fuck on. Does that mean I'm gonna get superpowers at any point?

• Sonya Blade : [Kano is sitting in Sonya's house trailer, drinking up her beer]  Oh, make yourself at home.

  Kano : Yeah, I have. Oh, by the way, your beer's shit and you're almost out of it.

• Kano : Alright, thank you for flying Air Kano! I know you had fuck all choices. Tray tables up! Time to jump out of this shitbox!

• Liu Kang : [Touches Kano's shoulder]  There's much to learn.

  Kano : The fuck?

• Sonya Blade : [Sonya, Cole, and Kano are about to jump out the cargo plane]  First time?

  Cole Young : Yeah, what gave it away?

  Sonya Blade : You'll be okay. Just gotta jump, count to three, pull this side.

  Cole Young : Alright, simple. But how...

  Kano : Well, do or die, princess!

  [Kano shoves Cole out the plane] 

  Kano : [to Sonya]  What?

  Sonya Blade : You're fucking kidding me!

  [Kano flips Sonya the bird as he dives off] 

• Kano : [looking at a mural of The Great Kung Lao's death]  Now this one really speaks to me.

• Sonya Blade : So how close are we?

  Kano : 27, 28 k's. Maybe 30 to be safe. Let's round it up to 32 eh? We say 35 there'll be no surprises.

• Kano : [after destroying Raiden's shield]  You know the problem with these new lightning sticks? They just don't make 'em like they used to.

• Kano : [after getting leg-sweeped by Liu Kang over and over again]  Is that the only move you know, mate?

• Kano : New guy, get me out of here. I could help you.

  Cole Young : Just stay put.

  Kano : I was about to go for a stroll, but maybe I'll stick around, you fucking idiot!

• Kano : [recognizing Jax]  You're fucking kidding me, aren't you?

  [laughing] 

  Kano : Fucking hell. Is he on our side?

  [commenting on Jax's new arms] 

  Kano : Those are great, mate. They make those in men's sizes?

• Kano : [after Cole loses to Kung Lao]  You know, maybe your Arcana is getting your ass kicked by a hat.

• Raiden : [to Cole]  You are in no physical or mental shape to fight.

  [to Sonya] 

  Raiden : You don't even have a marking.

  Kano : [chuckles]  Alright, hang on. What about me, Gandalf? What does my fortune cookie say...

  Raiden : [hits Kano with lightning]  Powerless, arrogant.

  [sits down] 

  Raiden : The time has long passed. Our enemies have claimed nine straight victories. One more victory and Outworld will gain control over Earth forever, and Shang Tsung will enslave the entire human race.

  Kano : [recovering]  Sorry, what did I miss?