Home on the Range (2004)

Charles Haid: Lucky Jack

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lucky Jack : Ha! Bovine bounty hunters! Now I've seen everything.

• Lucky Jack : Folks used to call me Lucky Jack. They came from miles around just to get a look at my lucky rabbit's foot.

  [Notices his peg-leg is on fire] 

  Lucky Jack : Dagnabit!

  [puts out fire] 

  Lucky Jack : Happens all the time.

• Mrs. Calloway : [after the overnight rain, Maggie and Mrs. Calloway are still sleeping the next morning. As she is still sleeping, Maggie eats the flower on Mrs. Calloway's hat as she wakes up]  Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. Wake up.

  Maggie : [wakes up suddenly]  Check, please!

  [looks at Mrs. Calloway who gives her a glare as she is still holding her hat, puts it back in her head and tries to make her smile, but no avail] 

  Maggie : It tasted a lot better in my sleep.

  Mrs. Calloway : Well, I suppose you'll be off now.

  Maggie : Mm-hmm.

  Mrs. Calloway : Where will you go?

  Maggie : Oh, probably check out the Grand Canyon. See Utah before I die.

  Mrs. Calloway : Wait a minute. Where's Grace?

  Grace : Hi, there. Boy, am I glad you guys are up. Hey, come look at this.

  [They go behind the rock to see green plants] 

  Mrs. Calloway : What on earth? Where did all this come from?

  Maggie : [as she's eating the plants]  Hey, it's green, it's leafy, and it's free. Shut up and eat.

  Lucky Jack : [arriving on the scene]  Good morning, ladies.

  [He sets up a wheel as a table] 

  Lucky Jack : I see you're already tucked into your appetizer. Never knew a pretty lady that didn't have an appetite.

  Mrs. Calloway : Oh, now, see here, you ruffian...

  Grace : He's not a ruffian, Mrs. Calloway. He's a genuine desert shaman, our very own wise man.

  Lucky Jack : [after he sets a campfire with his peg-leg]  Shaman, chef, chief cook, and bottle washer. I'm a jackrabbit of all trades and at your service. Folks around these parts call me Lucky Jack. Yep, they used to come from miles around just to get one rub of my lucky rabbit's foot.

  [notices his peg-leg is on fire] 

  Lucky Jack : Whoo! Dagnabit!

  [tries to blow to put out the fire, but finally puts out the fire with his mouth] 

  Lucky Jack : This happens all the time. Now, where was I? Ah.

  [Presents the cows with a dead scorpion] 

  Lucky Jack : Voila! Now let me just get this on the fire and it'll be ready directly.

  [He cuts up the scorpion with a knife and fork, tosses the parts up in the air and grabs them with his ears, but the tail part ends up stinging his eye] 

  Maggie : Look, we don't eat meat. It's kind of like a professional courtesy.

• Maggie : [having learned that her enemy is that of Jack's too]  Slim! You mean this no-good varmint is hiding out in Echo Mine right now?

  Lucky Jack : Without a doubt.

  Mrs. Calloway : Maggie, what are you thinking?

  Maggie : [with newfound determination]  Look, I got a score to settle with that rhinestone fat boy and nothing to lose.

  Grace : But it'll be dangerous going after Slim all by yourself.

  Maggie : [hugging Jack relunctantly]  Hey, I got the rabbit.

• Maggie : [having been at each other's throats for too long, despite enlisting Jack's help]  As strange as this sounds, Grace is actually making sense.

  Grace : Thank you.

  Maggie : You want the money and I want to get even with Slim. The three of us go together, and we're sure to get him. Once you collect the reward, I'll walk out your front gate and I'll stay out of it forever. Deal?

  [as she talks, Jack is curious for this action] 

  Mrs. Calloway : Your powers of persuasion are uncanny. Deal.

  Lucky Jack : Ha! Bovine bounty hunters! Now I've seen everything. Let's get moving, ladies. Time for an underground smackdown. Yee-haw!

  [he shows them the way] 

• Grace : [the cows and Lucky Jack finally arrived at Echo Mine]  Lucky Jack, you did it! We're here!

  Mrs. Calloway : Well, I take my hat off to you, Jack. But you've got us here in one piece.

  Lucky Jack : Well, seein' is believin'.

  Maggie : And I don't believe what I see.

  [sees Buck talking to Junior, who is guarding the entrance] 

  Mrs. Calloway : Oh, it's Buck!

  Maggie : Stallion of the Cim-moron.