George Lopez (2002–2007)
Constance Marie: Angie Lopez
Photos
Quotes
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Angie Lopez : You think your only contribution to this family is a paycheck?
George Lopez : That's my job in this family, Angie. When I was a kid my mom always complained about how there wasn't a man around to help her with the bills. Look, a man isn't a man unless he's a provider. I'm a hunter! I'm a provider!
Angie Lopez : A hunter? You can't even give the dog eye-drops!
George Lopez : If he looked away I could.
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George Lopez : Hey, how was church?
Angie Lopez : Fine. Father Rick called you "one of the angels among us" 'cause you're donating a kidney to your dad.
George Lopez : I like that. Y'know Angie, if those pews reclined and the priests gave the Raiders scores, I'd go to church every Sunday.
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[when their daughter is late coming home from school]
George Lopez : OK, I'm here. Have you found Carmen yet?
Angie Lopez : No, And I'm worried sick. It's her first day at a new school, and she should've been home an hour ago.
George Lopez : Come on, it's an hour. She's got no money. She's got no friends. She's probably walking around the mall crying.
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George Lopez : I don't wanna be the bigger person! I wanna be small and mean... like a scorpion. I'll be like that...
[imitates a scorpion waving its pincers]
George Lopez : Then I get you all distracted by my pincers. Oh, but you forgot about my tail. Whapah!
[bends forward]
Angie Lopez : ...when you sting her, your tail's gonna fall off and you'll die.
George Lopez : That's bees. You don't know nothin'. I win.
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George Lopez : I decided not to introduce her to my mom.
Angie Lopez : So, you're already treating your sister better than you treated your wife! Gah!
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Angie Lopez : [to Max] Remember Sammy the Skater, the little penguin with the little helmet?
[singing a jolly jingle]
Angie Lopez : You can still be rad when you wear your helmet and your elbow pads.
George Lopez : You know what else Sammy the Skater sings, Angie?
[sings a song to the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel]
George Lopez : Shut up, shut up, you're makin' it worse. Now, meet me in the kitchen.
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Angie Lopez : [Viewing Benny's breast implants] So, you think those are what men really want?
Benny : Why don't you ask your dad? He hasn't taken his eyes off them since he got here.
Vic Palermo : I'm only viewing them as a doctor.
Benny : And what is the good doctor's opinion?
Vic Palermo : Oh, they're yummy!
Angie Lopez : Daddy!
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Angie Lopez : If you wanted people to think you had a girlfriend, wouldn't you want to take her out and show her off?
Ernie : Hey, I don't know how gay men think!
