The Cat in the Hat (2003)

Dakota Fanning: Sally

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Sally : [jumping on the couch]  Like being in the circus!

  The Cat : Yeah, but without those tortured animals or drunken clowns that have hepatitis.

• The Cat : [showing his car]  Here she is, the Super Luxurious Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger, or S-L-O-W for short.

  Sally : S-L-O-W?

  The Cat : Yeah, S.L.O.W. It's better than the last thing we had: Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter.

  Conrad : Oh, you mean...

  The Cat : No! Quick! To the S.L.O.W.!

• The Fish : Someone else should drive!

  The Cat : Alright, you win. Concrete, you drive.

  [gives Conrad the wheel] 

  Conrad : Are you serious?

  The Cat : I don't know. A little voice inside of me is saying, "This is a bad idea." But I can barely hear that little voice, because an even louder little voice is screaming, "Let the twelve-year-old drive!" Now punch it.

  Conrad : This is awesome!

  Sally : I want to drive.

  The Cat : I think that's a great idea.

  [gives Sally another wheel] 

  Conrad : Wait, two people can't drive at the same time.

  The Cat : You're right. We should all drive.

  [gets his own wheel] 

• Sally : Stop! That's...

  Sally , Conrad : Mom's dress!

  The Cat : This filthy thing?

  Sally : She was gonna wear that tonight and you ruined it.

  The Cat : Honey, it was ruined when she bought it.

  [snaps, snaps] 

  The Cat : Mmm-mmm-hmm yeah.

  [snaps, snaps] 

  The Cat : Mmm-hmm.

• Sally : Where did you come from?

  The Cat : Hmm, How do I put this... When a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide that...

  Conrad : Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Where did you *come* from?

  The Cat : My place, what do you think?

• [Sally, Conrad and Mrs. Kwan are watching TV. It shows a scene of Taiwanese Parliament Members fighting] 

  Conrad , Sally : Taiwanese Parliament.

  Mrs. Kwan : You tell them, Kwi-Chang. No more big government! Rip his heart out!

• Conrad : So, what do we do?

  The Cat : Well, there are two treatments I'd recommend. One is a series of painful shots injected into your abdomen and kneecaps, and the other involves a musical number! Me me me me-ow!

  Sally : How many shots?

• Sally : Who are you?

  The Cat : Who, Me? Why I'm The Cat in the Hat, there's no doubt about that. I'm a super fundiferous feline, who's here to make sure that you're..."meline"..."key lime"..."turpentine". I got nothing! I'm not so good with the rhyming, not really, no. Look, I'm a cat that can talk that should be enough for you people!

• The Cat : [sinister voice]  There is a third option!

  [Vaudeville keyboard music] 

  Sally : There is?

  The Cat : Yes. It involves... murder!

  [More vaudeville keyboard music] 

  Conrad : That's your option?

  The Cat : [normal voice]  No. You guys both had options. I just wanted to have one too.

  The Cat : [back to sinister]  Or did I?

  [More vaudeville keyboard music] 

  Sally : Cat, you're not helping!

• Lawrence Quinn : Anything for my little Princess.

  Sally : Oh, I don't wanna be a princess, in a constitutional monarchy, parliament has all the real power.

• The Fish : Stop this right now!

  Conrad : Who said that?

  The Fish : Me! Remember, the fish? Came home in a baggy, loved me for two weeks, and then *nothing*!

  Sally : The fish is talking.

  The Cat : Well, sure, he can talk. But is he saying anything? No, not really.

• Sally : You need to clean this mess up, pronto. We have a contract.

  The Cat : Alright, I'll try.

  Sally : [grabs the Cat in the Hat by his bowtie]  You don't try, you do!

• Mom : Well, if you're both staying, remember the rules; Conrad, no playing ball in the house, no fighting, no answering the phone: "City Morgue".

  Sally : Mommy, can't I have some rules?

  Mom : No chewing tobacco.

• Conrad : I'll take the blame. Look, Mom will be home any second. Why don't you go upstairs?

  Sally : I'm not going upstairs. I'm staying with you.

  Conrad : Really? Why?

  Sally : Two reasons. One, the stairs are destroyed. Two, this is just as much my fault as yours. We should share the blame.

  Conrad : Thanks, Sally.

  Sally : By the way, you're a pretty good brother.

  Conrad : Glad you think that. Maybe we can room together at military school.

• [from DVD menu] 

  Conrad : [gets spit out of a tube from the Cat's hat]  Whoa! Cool!

  Sally : [gets spit out next]  Ugh! Well that was rather rude.

  Conrad : I thought it was pretty cool.

  Sally : You would.

  Conrad : You should.

  Sally : [to viewer]  Oh, hello there. I'm Sally, and welcome to the Cat in the Hat DVD.

  Conrad : And I'm Conrad, and if you click over here, I'll show you some real cool stuff about the film.

  Sally : Or if you click on my side, I'll tell you some amazing stories about how they made the movie.

  Conrad : Don't listen to Sally, her stuff is boring! Click over here!

  Sally : The word you're looking for is interesting.

  The Fish : [rising from the hat]  Remember the fish?

• Sally , Conrad : OUT!