Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Brad Pitt: Lt. Aldo Raine
Photos
Quotes
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Lt. Aldo Raine : My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I'm putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y'all might've heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doin' one thing and one thing only... killin' Nazis. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a fuckin' air-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity. Nazi ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every son of a bitch we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die. Now, I'm the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the German won't not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the German will be sickened by us, and the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us. And when the German closes their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good?
Sgt. Donny Donowitz , Pfc. Hirschberg , Pfc. Andy Kagan , Pfc. Simon Sakowitz , Pfc. Omar Ulmer , Pfc. Smithson Utivich , Cpl. Wilhelm Wicki , Pfc. Michael Zimmerman : YES, SIR!
Lt. Aldo Raine : That's what I like to hear. But I got a word of warning for all you would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y'all will git me one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Nazis. Or you will die tryin'.
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Lt. Aldo Raine : You didn't say the goddamn rendezvous was in a fuckin' basement.
Lt. Archie Hicox : I didn't know.
Lt. Aldo Raine : You said it was in a tavern.
Lt. Archie Hicox : It is a tavern.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Yeah, in a basement. You know, fightin' in a basement offers a lot of difficulties. Number one being, you're fightin' in a basement!
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Lt. Aldo Raine : Well, I speak the most Italian, so I'll be your escort. Donowitz speaks the second most, so he'll be your Italian cameraman. Omar speaks third most, so he'll be Donny's assistant.
Pfc. Omar Ulmer : I don't speak Italian.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Like I said, third best. Just keep your fuckin' mouth shut. In fact, why don't you start practicing, right now!
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Col. Hans Landa : [giddy] Oooh, that's a bingo! Is that the way you say it? "That's a bingo?"
Lt. Aldo Raine : You just say "bingo."
Col. Hans Landa : Bingo! How fun! But, I digress. Where were we?
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Lt. Aldo Raine : [very bad Italian accent] Arriverderci.
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[last lines]
Lt. Aldo Raine : Y'know... Utivich 'n myself heard that deal you made with the brass. "End the war tonight"?... I'd make that deal. How 'bout you Utivich, you make that deal?
Pfc. Smithson Utivich : [busy scalping Hermann] I'd make that deal.
Lt. Aldo Raine : I don't blame ya! Damn good deal! And that purty little nest you feathered for yourself. Well, if you're willing to barbecue the whole high command, I 'spose that's worth certain considerations. But I do have one question. When you get to your little place on Nantucket Island, I 'magine you're gonna take off that handsome-lookin' S.S. uniform of yours, ain'tcha?... That's what I thought. Now that I can't abide. How 'bout you Utivich, can you abide it?
Pfc. Smithson Utivich : [finishes scalping Hermann] Not one damn bit, sir.
Lt. Aldo Raine : I mean, if I had my way... you'd wear that goddamn uniform for the rest of your pecker-suckin' life. But I'm aware that ain't practical, I mean at some point you're gonna hafta take it off. So. I'm 'onna give you a little somethin' you can't take off.
[cut to Landa screaming and crying as Raine carves a swastika into his forehead]
Lt. Aldo Raine : [smirks widely] You know somethin', Utivich? I think this just might be my masterpiece!
[Raine and Utvich grin sardonically as the credits roll]
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Lt. Aldo Raine : [Drawing a map] Up the road apiece, there's an orchard. Now, besides you, we know there's another kraut patrol fuckin' around there somewhere. Now if that patrol were to have any crackshots, that orchard would be a goddamn sniper's delight. Now, if you ever want to eat a sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta show me on this here map where they are, you gotta tell me how many there are, and you gotta tell me what kinda artillery they're carrying with 'em.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman : You can't expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Well, now Werner, that's where you're wrong, because that's exactly what I expect. I need to know about Germans hiding in them trees, and you need to tell me, and you need to tell me right now. Now, just take that finger of yours and point out on this here map where this party's being held, how many's coming, and what they brought to play with.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman : [puts his hand over his heart] I respectfully refuse, sir.
Lt. Aldo Raine : [a smack is heard offscreen] Hear that?
Sgt. Werner Rachtman : Yes.
Lt. Aldo Raine : That's Sgt. Donny Donowitz. You might know him better by his nickname: "The Bear Jew". Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman : I've heard of the Bear Jew.
Lt. Aldo Raine : What d'you hear?
Sgt. Werner Rachtman : He beats German soldiers with a club.
Lt. Aldo Raine : He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat is what he does. Now, Werner, I'm gonna ask you one last goddamn time, if you still respectfully refuse, I'm callin' the Bear Jew over. He's gonna take that big bat of his, and he's gonna beat your ass to death with it. Now, take your wiener schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I want to know.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman : [after brief pause] Fuck you... and your Jew dogs!
[the Basterds all laugh]
Lt. Aldo Raine : Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to here you say that. Quite frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies. Donny!
Sgt. Donny Donowitz : [from offscreen] Yeah?
Lt. Aldo Raine : We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!
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Lt. Aldo Raine : You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
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Col. Hans Landa : [in German] So who are your three handsome escorts?
Bridget von Hammersmark : [in German] I'm afraid neither three speak a word of German. They're friends of mine from Italy. This is the wonderful Italian stuntman, Enzo Gorlomi; a very talented cameraman, Antonio Margheriti; and Antonio's camera assistant, Dominick Decocco.
Bridget von Hammersmark : [in Italian] Gentlemen, this is an old friend, Colonel Hans Landa of the SS.
Lt. Aldo Raine : [in Italian with obvious southern accent] Buongiorno.
Col. Hans Landa : [in flawless Italian] Gentlemen, it's a pleasure; the friends of our cherished star, admired by all of us, this outright jewel of our culture, are naturally going to be under my personal protection for the duration of their stay.
Lt. Aldo Raine : [after a pause] Grazie.
Col. Hans Landa : [in Italian] Gorlomi? Am I pronouncing it correctly?
Lt. Aldo Raine : [in a very bad accent] Sì... er, corretto.
Col. Hans Landa : [in Italian] Gorla... lomi? Say it for me once please?
Lt. Aldo Raine : [mispronouncing the name] Gorlami.
Col. Hans Landa : [in Italian, faking confusion] I'm sorry, again?
Lt. Aldo Raine : [slightly annoyed] Gorlami.
Col. Hans Landa : [in Italian] Once more?
Lt. Aldo Raine : [obviously annoyed, leans forward and whispers] Gorlami.
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Lt. Aldo Raine : [Aldo shoots Hans' driver Hermann, and gives Utivich a knife] Scalp Hermann.
Col. Hans Landa : Are you mad? What have you done? I made a deal with your general for that man's life!
Lt. Aldo Raine : Yeah, they made that deal, but they don't give a fuck about him. They need you.
Col. Hans Landa : You'll be shot for this!
Lt. Aldo Raine : Nah, I don't think so. More like chewed out. I've been chewed out before.
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[repeated line]
Lt. Aldo Raine : I'm gonna give you a little somethin' you can't take off.
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Col. Hans Landa : [to Aldo] So you're "Aldo the Apache".
Lt. Aldo Raine : So you're "the Jew Hunter".
Col. Hans Landa : A detective. A damn good dectective. Finding people is my specialty so naturally I work for the Nazis finding people, and yes some of them were Jews. But "Jew Hunter"?
Col. Hans Landa : [reacts in disgust] It's just a name that stuck.
Pfc. Smithson Utivich : Well, you do have to admit, it is catchy.
Col. Hans Landa : Do you control the nicknames your enemies bestow on you? "Aldo the Apache" and "the Little Man"?
Pfc. Smithson Utivich : [confused] What do you mean "the Little Man"?
Col. Hans Landa : Germans' nickname for you.
Pfc. Smithson Utivich : The Germans' nickname for me is "the Little Man"?
Col. Hans Landa : And as if to make my point, I'm a little surprised how tall you were in real life. I mean, you're a little fellow, but not circus-midget little, as your reputation would suggest.
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Col. Hans Landa : Tell me, Aldo, if I were sitting where you're sitting, would you show me mercy?
Lt. Aldo Raine : [after a long pause]
[smiles]
Lt. Aldo Raine : Nope!
Col. Hans Landa : What's that English saying about shoes and feet?
Lt. Aldo Raine : "Looks like the shoe's on the other foot." Yeah, I was just thinking that.
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Sgt. Donny Donowitz : [Aldo is carving a swastika into Private Butz's forehead] You know, Lieutenant, you're getting pretty good at that.
Lt. Aldo Raine : You know how you get to Carnegie Hall, don't ya? Practice.
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[Raine is interrogating Rachtman and poitning out all of his men]
Lt. Aldo Raine : And another one over there, you might be familiar with: Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz. Heard of 'em?
Sgt. Werner Rachtman : Everybody in the German army's heard of Hugo Stiglitz.
[Some of the Basterds laugh, and the camera focuses on Stiglitz; the scene freezes and the words "Hugo Stiglitz" appear on the screen]
Narrator : [voice-over] The reason for Hugo Stiglitz's celebrity among German soldiers is simple. As a German enlisted man, he killed thirteen Gestapo officers.
[Stiglitz is seen strangling one officer with a cord; stabbing another multiple times in the head through a pillow; and asphyxiating one with his bare hands]
Narrator : [voice-over] Instead of putting him up against a wall, the High Command decided to send him back to Berlin, to be made an example of.
[cuts to Stiglitz locked in a cell]
Narrator : Needless to say, once the Basterds heard of him, he never got there.
[One of Raine's men slits a guard's throat; the other Basterds quickly open fire and kill the other guards, then Raine approaches Stiglitz's cell]
Lt. Aldo Raine : Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz?
[Stiglitz nods]
Lt. Aldo Raine : Lt. Aldo Raine. These are the Basterds, ever heard of us?
[Stiglitz nods again]
Lt. Aldo Raine : We just wanted to say we're a big fan of your work. When it comes to killing Nazis...
[one of the guards stirs and groans, and is promptly shot dead on the spot]
Lt. Aldo Raine : ... I think you show great talent. And I pride myself on having an eye for that kind of talent. But your status as a Nazi killer is still amateur. We all come here to see if you wanna go pro.
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Bridget von Hammersmark : There have been two recent developments regarding Operation Kino. One, the venue has been changed from the Ritz to a much smaller venue.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Enormous changes at the last minute? That's not very Germatic. Why the hell is Goebbels doin' stuff so damn peculiar?
Bridget von Hammersmark : It probably has something to do with the second development.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Which is?
Bridget von Hammersmark : [sits up] The Führer is attending the premiere.
Adolf Hitler : [cut to Hitler] I've been rethinking my position in regards to your Paris premiere of "Nation's Pride". As the weeks have gone on and the Americans are on the beach, I do find myself thinking more and more about this Private Zoller. This boy has done something tremendous for us. And I'm beginning to think my participation in this event could be meaningful.
Sgt. Donny Donowitz : [cut back to the Basterds] Fuck a duck!
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Bridget von Hammersmark : I can see since you didn't see what happened inside, the Nazis being there must look odd.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Yeah, we got a word for that kinda odd in English. It's called suspicious.
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Col. Hans Landa : As of this moment, both Omar and Donowitz should be sitting in their very seats we left for them, 0023 and 0024 if my memory serves, explosives still around their ankles, still ready to explode and your mission, what some would call a terrorist plot, as of this moment is still a go.
Lt. Aldo Raine : That's a pretty exciting story. What's next? "Eliza On The Ice"?
Col. Hans Landa : However... all I have to do is pick up this phone right here, inform the cinema, and your plan's kaputt.
Lt. Aldo Raine : If they're still there, and if they're still alive, and that's one big if, there ain't no way you gonna take them boys without settin' off them bombs.
Col. Hans Landa : I have no doubt. And yes, some Germans will die, and yes, it will ruin the evening, and yes, Goebbels will be very, very, very mad at you for what you've done to his big night... but you won't get Hitler, you won't get Goebbels, you won't get Göring, and you won't get Bormann. And you need all four to win the war. But if I don't pick up this phone right here, you may very well get all four... and if you get all four, you'll end the war... tonight.
[he opens a bottle of Chianti]
Col. Hans Landa : So, gentlemen, let's discuss the prospect of ending the war tonight.
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Lt. Aldo Raine : You know, where I'm from...
Col. Hans Landa : Yeah, where is that, exactly?
Lt. Aldo Raine : Maynardville, Tennessee.
[pause]
Lt. Aldo Raine : I've done my share of bootlegging. Up 'ere, if you engage in what the federal government calls 'illegal activity,' but what we call 'just a man tryin' to make a livin' for his family sellin' moonshine liquor,' it behooves oneself to keep his wits. Long story short, we hear a story too good to be true... it ain't.
Col. Hans Landa : Sitting in your chair, I would probably say the same thing. And 999 point 999 times out of a million, you would be correct. But in the pages of history, every once in a while, fate reaches out and extends its hand.
[Landa slowly sweeps his arms out in a grand shrug]
Col. Hans Landa : What shall the history books read?
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Master SGT. Wilhelm : [yelling while aiming his gun at the front entrance of the basement-tavern] Who are you? BRITISH, AMERICAN? WHAT?
Lt. Aldo Raine : [shouting from up the stairs] We're American! What're you?
Master SGT. Wilhelm : I'M A GERMAN, YOU IDIOT!
Lt. Aldo Raine : [calmly] You speak English pretty good for a German.
Master SGT. Wilhelm : I agree!
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Adolf Hitler : [in German, with subtitles] How did you survive this ordeal?
Pvt. Butz : They let me go.
Lt. Aldo Raine : [cut back to the ditch] Now, when you report what happened here, you can't tell 'em you told us what you told us. They'll shoot ya. But they're gonna wanna know why you so special, we let you live? So, tell 'em we let you live so you could spread the word through the ranks what's gonna happen to every Nazi we find.
Adolf Hitler : [cut back to Hitler's office] You are not to tell anybody anything! Not one word of detail! Your outfit was ambushed and you got away! Not one word more!
Pvt. Butz : Yes, mein fuhrer.
Adolf Hitler : Did they mark you like they did they did the other survivors?
Pvt. Butz : Yes, mein fuhrer.
Lt. Aldo Raine : [cut back to the ditch] Now, say we let you go, and say you survive the war. When you get back home, whatcha gonna do?
[Wicki translates to German]
Pvt. Butz : [in German] I will hug my mother like I've never hugged her before.
Cpl. Wilhelm Wicki : [to Aldo] Says he's gonna hug his momma.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Well, ain't that a real nice boy? Are you going to take off your uniform?
[Wicki translates]
Pvt. Butz : Not only shall I remove it, I intend to burn it.
Cpl. Wilhelm Wicki : Says he's gonna burn it.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Yeah, that's what we thought. We don't like that. You see, we like our Nazis in uniform. That way we can spot 'em just like that. But you take off that uniform, ain't no one ever gonna know you were a Nazi. And that don't sit well with us. So, I'm gonna give you a little something you can't take off.
[cut back to Hitler's office. He moves closer to Butz as Butz removes his cap to show a large swastika-shaped scar on his forehead]
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Sgt. Donny Donowitz : Speaking of Frau von Hammersmark, whose idea was it for the death trap rendezvous?
Lt. Archie Hicox : She chose the spot.
Sgt. Donny Donowitz : Well, isn't that just dandy!
Lt. Archie Hicox : Look, she's not a military strategist. She's just an actress.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Well, you don't got to be Stonewall Jackson to know you don't want to fight in a basement!
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Col. Hans Landa : Gentlemen, I have no intention of killing Hitler and killing Goebbels and killing Göring and killing Bormann, not to mention winning the war single-handedly for the Allies, only later to find myself standing before a Jewish tribunal. If you want to win the war, tonight;
[Landa lightly chops his hands down against the table]
Col. Hans Landa : ...we have to make a deal.
Lt. Aldo Raine : What kind of deal?
Col. Hans Landa : The kind you wouldn't have the authority to make. However, I'm sure this mission of yours has a commanding officer. A general. I'm betting for... OSS would be my guess.
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Lt. Aldo Raine : Now, before we yank that slug out you, you need to answer a few questions.
Bridget von Hammersmark : Few questions about what?
Lt. Aldo Raine : About I got three men dead back there. Why don't you try telling us what the fuck happened?
Bridget von Hammersmark : The British officer blew his German act and the Gestapo major saw it.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Before we get into who shot John, why'd you invite my men to a rendezvous in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?
Bridget von Hammersmark : I can see since you didn't see what happened inside, that the Nazis being there must look odd.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Yeah, we got a word for that kind of odd in English. It's called "suspicious".
[He digs his fingers into her bullet wound. She gasps with pain]
Bridget von Hammersmark : Everybody needs to calm down! You're letting your imagination get the better of you!
[He digs deeper and she exclaims]
Bridget von Hammersmark : You met the sergeant yourself! Willi! You remember him, don't you?
Lt. Aldo Raine : Yeah, I remember him.
Bridget von Hammersmark : His wife had a baby tonight. He had just become a-
[She screams]
Bridget von Hammersmark : He had just become a father! His commanding officer gave him and his mates the night off to celebrate.
[She groans and convulses]
Bridget von Hammersmark : The Germans being there was either a trap set by me or a tragic coincidence. It couldn't be both.
[He takes his finger out. She gasps]
Lt. Aldo Raine : How'd the shooting start?
Bridget von Hammersmark : The Englishman gave himself away.
Lt. Aldo Raine : How'd he do that?
Bridget von Hammersmark : He ordered three glasses.
[She holds up her fore, middle, and ring fingers]
Bridget von Hammersmark : We order three glasses.
[She uses her thumb, fore, and middle fingers]
Bridget von Hammersmark : That's the German three. The other looks odd. Germans would and did notice it.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Okay, let's pretend there were no Germans and everything went exactly the way it was supposed to. What was the next step?
Bridget von Hammersmark : Tuxedos. To get them into the premiere wearing military uniforms with all the military there would've been suicide. But going as members of the German film industry, they wear tuxedos and fit in with everybody else. I arranged for the tailor to fit three tuxedos tonight.
Lt. Aldo Raine : How'd you intend to get them in that premiere.
Bridget von Hammersmark : Hand me my purse. Lieutenant Hicox was going as my escort. The other two were going as a German cameraman and his assistant.
Lt. Aldo Raine : You still get us in that premiere?
Bridget von Hammersmark : You speak German better than your friends? No. Have I been shot? Yes! I don't see me tripping the light fantastique up a red carpet anytime soon! Least of all, by tomorrow night.
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Lt. Aldo Raine : Before we yank that slug out you, you need to answer a few questions.
Bridget von Hammersmark : Few questions about what?
Lt. Aldo Raine : About I got three men dead back there. Why don't you try telling us what the fuck happened?
Bridget von Hammersmark : The British officer blew his German act and the Gestapo major saw it.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Before we get into who shot John, why'd you invite my men to a rendezvous in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?
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Col. Hans Landa : Tell me, Aldo, if I were sitting where you're sitting, would you show me mercy?
Lt. Aldo Raine : Nope.
Col. Hans Landa : What is that English expression about shoes and feet?
Lt. Aldo Raine : "Looks like the shoe is on the other foot." Yeah, I was just thinking that.
Col. Hans Landa : [in German] You may leave us. But stay alert outside.
[in English]
Col. Hans Landa : So you're Aldo the Apache.
Lt. Aldo Raine : So you're the Jew Hunter.
Col. Hans Landa : I'm a detective. A damn good detective. Finding people is my specialty, so naturally, I worked for the Nazis finding people and yes, some of them were Jews, but Jew Hunter?
[Scoffs]
Col. Hans Landa : Just a name that stuck.
Pfc. Smithson Utivich : Well, you do have to admit it is catchy.
Col. Hans Landa : Do you control the nicknames your enemies bestow on you? Aldo the Apache and the Little Man?
Pfc. Smithson Utivich : What do you man, the Little Man?
Col. Hans Landa : Germans' nickname for you.
Pfc. Smithson Utivich : The Germans' nickname for me is the Little Man?
Col. Hans Landa : And, as if to make my point, I'm a little surprised how tall you were in real life. I mean, you're a little fellow, but not "circus-midget" little, as your reputation would suggest.
Lt. Aldo Raine : Where's my men? Where Bridget von Hammersmark?
Col. Hans Landa : Well, let's just say she got what she deserved. And when you purchase friends like Bridget von Hammersmark, you get what you pay for. Now, as far as your paesanos, Sergeant Donowitz and Private Omar...
Lt. Aldo Raine : How you know our names?
Col. Hans Landa : Lieutenant Aldo, if you don't think I wouldn't interrogate every single one of your swastika-marked survivors... We simply aren't operating on the level of mutual respect I assumed.
Lt. Aldo Raine : No, I guess not.
Col. Hans Landa : Well, back to the whereabouts of your two Italian saboteurs. As of this moment, both Omar and Donowitz should be sitting in the very seats we left them in, 0023 and 0024, if my memory serves, explosives still around their ankles, ready to explode, and your mission, some would call it a terrorist plot, as of this moment, is still a go.
Lt. Aldo Raine : That's a purdy exciting story. What's next? Eliza on Ice?
Col. Hans Landa : However, all I have to do is pick up this phone right here, inform the cinema, and your plan's kaput.
Lt. Aldo Raine : If they're still there, and if they're still alive, and that's one big "If", there ain't no way you gonna take them boys without setting off them bombs.
Col. Hans Landa : I have no doubt. And yes, some Germans will die, and yes, it will ruin the evening, and yes, Goebbels will be very, very, very mad at you for what you've done to his big night, but you won't get Hitler, you won't get Goebbels, you won't get Göring, and you won't get Bormann and you need all four to end the war. But if I don't pick up this phone right here, you may very well get all four and if you get all four, you end the war. Tonight.
[Landa opens a bottle of Chianti]
Col. Hans Landa : So, gentlemen, let's discuss the prospect of ending the war tonight.
[He pours wine for himself, Aldo, and Utivich]
Col. Hans Landa : So, the way I see it, since Hitler's death or possible rescue rests solely on my reaction, if I do nothing, it's as if I'm causing his death even more than yourselves. Wouldn't you agree?
Lt. Aldo Raine : I guess so.
Col. Hans Landa : How 'bout you, Utivich?
Pfc. Smithson Utivich : I guess so too.
Col. Hans Landa : Gentleman, I have no intention of killing Hitler and killing Goebbels and killing Göring and killing Bormann, not to mention winning the war single-handedly for the Allies, only later to find myself standing before a Jewish tribunal. If you want to win the war tonight, we have to make a deal!
Lt. Aldo Raine : What kind of deal?
Col. Hans Landa : The kind you wouldn't have the authority to make. However, I'm sure this mission of yours has a commanding officer. A general. I'm betting for... OSS would be my guess.
[pause]
Col. Hans Landa : Ooh! That's a bingo! Is that the way you say it? "That's a bingo"?
Lt. Aldo Raine : You just say "Bingo".
Col. Hans Landa : Bingo! How fun! But I digress. Where were we? Yeah! Make a deal. Over there is a very capable two-way radio and sitting behind it is a more than capable radio operator named Hermann. Get me someone on the other end of that radio with the power of the pen to authorize my, let's call it, the terms of my conditional surrender, if that tastes better going down.
Lt. Aldo Raine : You know, where I'm from...
Col. Hans Landa : Yeah, where is that exactly?
Lt. Aldo Raine : Maynardville, Tennessee. I've done my share of bootlegging. Up there, if you engage in what the federal government calls illegal activity, but what we call just a man trying to make a living for his family, selling moonshine liquor, it behooves oneself to keep his wits. Long story short: We hear a story too good to be true, it ain't.
Col. Hans Landa : Sitting in your chair, I would probably say the same thing, and 999,999 times out of 1,000,000, you would be correct. But in the pages of history, every once in a while, Fate reaches out and extend its hand.
[shrugs]
Col. Hans Landa : What shall the history books read?
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Lt. Aldo Raine : [trying to speaking Italian in an attempt to fool Landa to keep up his cover as an Italian actor] Gwatzeeeeee. Gwatzeeee. Gwatzeeee.
