Team America: World Police (2004)

Kristen Miller: Lisa

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Lisa : Promise me you'll never die.

  Gary Johnston : You know I can't promise that.

  Lisa : If you did that, I would make love to you right now.

  Gary Johnston : I promise I'll never die.

• Lisa : Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.

• Lisa : I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. is down! I repeat, we have no I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.!

• Kim Jong Il : Now you see, the changing of the worrd is inevitabre!

  Lisa : I'm sorry, it's what?

  Kim Jong Il : Inevit, inevitabre.

  Lisa : One more time.

  Kim Jong Il : [shouts]  Inevitabre! Things are inevitabrey going to change! Goddamnit, open your fucking ears!

• Lisa : Hey, terrorist! Terrorize this!

• Lisa : [to Gary]  You had me at "dicks fuck assholes".

• [repeated line] 

  Lisa : Sometimes... believing is all we have.

• [last lines] 

  Lisa : Wait a minute! Look!

  [a cockroach crawls out of Kim Jong-Il's mouth and towards a spaceship] 

  Kim Jong Il : You have not heard the rast of Kim Jong-Il! I will return! You shall see. I will be back!

  [enters spaceship and launches out of the palace] 

  Kim Jong Il : So rong, Earthrings!

  Gary Johnston : We'll be here waiting for you, Kim Jong-Il!

  Chris : All right, you guys. I hate to break this little party, but there are still a lot of bad guys out there.

  Gary Johnston : Well, then let's go show the bad guys the police are back in force.

  Lisa : Fuck, yeah.

  Gary Johnston : Fuck, yeah.

• Spottswoode : Team, I'm afraid I have bad news. At 7:15 this morning, the terrorists carried out their attack.

  Lisa : What?

  Sarah : But how can that be? Gary stopped the terrorists in Cairo.

  Spottswoode : It appears now that I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E was wrong about the Chechnyans being in charge. That was bad I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. Very bad I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.

  Intelligence : I'm sorry.

• Lisa : God, I'm so confused! It's too early for me to be having feelings for you.

  Gary Johnston : Maybe... feelings are feelings because we can't control them.

  Lisa : But I have to control them! Because I can't go through losing somebody again! It's too painful!

  Gary Johnston : So, so what? You're just gonna shut down? I really like you. There's no chance we can ever get together?

  Lisa : Only if you could promise me you'll never die.

  Gary Johnston : You know I can't promise that.

  Lisa : If you did that, I would make love to you right now.

  [turns her around and puffs himself up] 

  Gary Johnston : I promise. I will never die.

  [they draw closer and kiss for a long time] 

• Lisa : Then what about all those things you promised me last night? You said you'd never leave.

  Gary Johnston : I said I'd never die. But now I'm... *dead inside*

• Kim Jong Il : Now you see, the new world is inevitable.

  Lisa : It's what?

  Kim Jong Il : Inevit - inevitable.

  Lisa : One more time?

  Kim Jong Il : Inevitable! Things are inevitably going to change! Goddamnit, open your fuckin' ears!

• Chris : What does Spottswoode see in him?

  Lisa : I don't know. But I think I see it too.

• Lisa : Gary, you can't blame yourself for what gorillas did.

• Lisa : We lost I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E! I repeat, we have no I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.